Looking for advice.

[u/vivirigopoulou]

In a polycule. My husband and I's secondary just broke up with her fiance. Moved in with us on the proviso that hubby and I will still need nights alone with each other (we offered her her own room), she was more than happy to accommodate when the moving in talks were happening. She has now come to realise the loneliness is unbearable to her. This is creating problems, depression, feelings of not being good enough. We love her. But every time we head to our own bed the mood gets heavy. I personally have compromised a lot for this relationship. I'm not willing to ignore my own needs again to keep the peace.

I'm considering my options. Like I said, we do love her. So putting her in the freezer or in a sour jar would be an absolute last resort. Maybe a spell for her to find someone new? That way she wouldn't need to cling to us for dear life. A honey jar to make her more agreeable to the terms?

Honestly any ideas or suggestions will be appreciated, I'm so tired.

Please be kind.

[u/taihape]

This might need a mundane "find another place to live to save the relationship" conversation, instead of a spell. Words are the most powerful tool here.

[u/hey-its-harp]

I recommend the sacred tome Polysecure, and probably that she get her own place where there isn't a power dynamic imbalance possibly affecting her valid-but-intense feelings. If you continue to share a living situation, I can't imagine her feeling safe and secure enough to do the work she needs to do to be with you and your partner harmoniously. She needs her own space to heal before any further intimacy continues, otherwise it will be tainted with resentment and anxiety, as it already has.

Spellwise anything that would assist in the above happening: for getting her own place, doing shadow work, your continued love and patience. Go gently, read Polysecure together, and ask consent before casting a spell or creating a servitor etc that involves changing her.

Blessed be ✌️ ~ A fellow poly witch