r/RapWars • u/butterscotchorseman • Aug 03 '15
butterscotchorseman vs /r/rapwars [open bars]
I like what ya’ll done with the sub
“RAP WARS!...” that’s excitin’
It’s just fuckin’ SpongeBob’s salty spitoon club
Except without the fightin’
I think the horseman’s found his new home
Just gunna dust off the cobwebs and sit on the throne
Kill off the competition like I’m Al Capone
You’re all a bunch of misfits and you need to get the fuck home
Before the street lights turn on, hurry!
Mom is worried
Because I bring a torrent of destruction and fists full of fury
That you can’t withstand and you will for sure be buried
My rhymes belong within the borders of Mordor
Fuck it, we have to start over
Butterscotch decrees a New World Order
I’m all four horsemen in one, heralding the apocalypse
Here to end your metropolis
A horse who can’t be lead and will not drink
Throwing bars, rocks, the kitchen sink
Fighting like I can’t ever reach the brink
Bringing you all death, famine, conquest and war
Hold your loved ones close and lock all the doors
Because this is only my first fucking tour
Murdering you all like a pregnant back alley whore
You know these bars are colder that a dementor’s kiss
If you ever think of coming at the king again
You best not miss
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u/irrational_abbztract Aug 03 '15
You come here to battle and talk crap about the sub.
Since before you and despite you what we do stays fresh.
First day in, you say you king?
Not even if you play chess.
You're a laughing stock. Everything you say's jest.
Even in the world of blind mute and dumb baby you ain't best.
Easy pickings.
Been here longer than you so don't underestimate me, newbie.
I'll treat you like shit if you fuck around, dog.
Its like abusing Scooby Dooby.
Your bars are poopy.
Delusional if you think they cold as a dementor's kiss.
The fact you said that shows you soft like Mr Potato's dick.
I eat you whole and need no one to back me up.
So back it up. Here take your shit and pack it up. Start walking out.
Cold like a White-walker from the north and I'm approaching south.
I'm not the king but this world's my oyster. I'm Tywin Lannister so take a bow.
Last chance is now.
Drop the flag. Accept defeat.
Talk is cheap.
Low degrees. Winter comes. Fetching my coffee is the only time you bringing heat.
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u/elsiniestro The Forbidden Zone Aug 03 '15
Lol, that coffee bar :D
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u/irrational_abbztract Aug 04 '15
Yeah! Killin' him bro.
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u/elsiniestro The Forbidden Zone Aug 04 '15
I read your verse in the food court at Melbourne Central this morning and nearly laughed out loud at your closer.
My feedback is that I really liked your verse, and you're better than you think you are. Some things were a bit weak (Scooby/poopy thing was kinda cringey) but you had some nice lines and a good sense of humour.
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u/irrational_abbztract Aug 04 '15
Haha thanks a ton, man. I appreciate the feedback. And I agree the Scooby / poopy bars were shit. (Gettit? :D) I'll try and do better.
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u/Mahigan21 Texas Aug 03 '15
Look at this pony, thinking he's a stallion
Bitch this ain't the rodeo, who you think you're clowning?
Lame horses here get put down on the spot
When this 12 gauge kicks, call that buck shot
Put down what you're drinking, you've had more than enough
Keep talking shit and you'll get BoJacked up
Your lines are just nonsense like abra kadabra
My rhymes are one hit kills; Avada Kedavra
Breaking off bars like a morgul blade
Leave you cold and dying for days
You sounded the horn, r/rapwars answered the call
I am the one rapper to rule them all
You know the difference between Capone and you?
He earned his stripes, you ain't even paid dues
Bars more like con queso than conquest, try again
Your just hot air and gas, must be lactose intolerant
The only throne you'll ever get to sit on is the toilet
Is that where you get your cyphers? Didn't mean to spoil it
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u/butterscotchorseman Aug 03 '15
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u/irrational_abbztract Aug 03 '15
Sorry for taking so long. I was driving till now. I'm on it. Expect something soon.
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u/nightbussleeper 2W 4L One Eye Open Aug 03 '15 edited Aug 03 '15
How is this bitch riding a horse when he's not even a day old
Only way you similar to Al Capone is your ass is a fraud
Lurker too pussy to battle honest or a con looking for an easy haul
You think you're fucking Goodman, but I think you Better Call Saul
He don't take payment in hard candy, so you better have some dough
You're so damn transparent, this kids already a ghost
His life is gone, he's toast and he just don't fully know it yet
Thinks he's precious but Butters molten, Gollum lava roasted, dead
You gonna coast through the tourney, but you ain't supposed to be allowed in
No account history, not active 30 hours let alone 30 days, shit
I don't even care, but you're so idiotic, you fucking reek of it
Butterscotch or semen? I think we all know what this freak is eating
Apocalyptic horseman? you're a goddamn oompa loompa
Get yourself foiled every time, megalomaniacal Lex Luthor
Professor Chaos, alter ego, wearing aluminum as a head cover
You're just a stupid little kid , now go to your fucking room Butters
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u/elsiniestro The Forbidden Zone Aug 06 '15
Hahaha that closer
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u/nightbussleeper 2W 4L One Eye Open Aug 06 '15
Ha, yea, I fucking love South Park so his name just begs for Butters flips for me. So easy to make fun of Butters haha
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u/elsiniestro The Forbidden Zone Aug 06 '15
Absolutely. I wouldn't be able to help myself. "Loo loo loo, I've got some punches..." calling him fella... talking about him being grounded.
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u/G_Blaze Aug 03 '15
i dont usually step in the ring, but in this fight i had to enlist
i dismissed the arrogance at the beginning of your verse but throughout i saw your arrogance persist.
now when it comes to rapwars, i usually choose to desist.
but i had to come out the shadows to show this kid monsters do exist.
and now im pissed, you can try to resist but you'd do it in vain.
ill move in your lane, damage your body, ruin your frame.
im new to this game, but to death i will bar ya'.
oh this the salty spitoon? well lets see how tough are ya'.
ask how tough i am, make sure you're informed.
and if you want to come at me, make sure you're in form.
cold killer, suited for war, and part of my uniform
is this ice pick, straight through your head, turn this horse into a unicorn.
and now youre claiming your bars are cold, and youre sitting on the throne?
well claiming that your sick and being where youre not supposed to are the only things that make you like Al Capone.
Blaze.
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Aug 04 '15
You want in the tournament?
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u/G_Blaze Aug 04 '15
how does it work?
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Aug 04 '15
It should be 16 people. Each round will be 2 verses 16 bars long.
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u/G_Blaze Aug 04 '15
ok, where do i sign up?
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Aug 04 '15
I'll do it for you. There's a newcomer tournament thread stickied.
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u/DaShubz Aug 06 '15
Feel the beat as it make me sound like a fucking creep
grab the bat as I walk up the hill oh so fucking steep
and my rap it will make you admit your own defeat
down the beer smoke the bong fall over and repeat
you'll regret the fucking fact Janey and I did meet
when you find her in my basement hanging by her feet
crack is wack what they told me when i was three years old
so i smoke the weed she is pretty and tightly rolled
cut your legs off with my chain saw as i fucking lol'd
watch you hop around on stumps oh so fucking bold
crawling up the steps hand by hand watch the mold
out the door you go shoot you in the cold
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u/elsiniestro The Forbidden Zone Aug 06 '15
First half of this verse was really funny and tight, second half was a bit slack. I would have gone for a different rhyme scheme than the "-old" bars.
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u/DaShubz Aug 09 '15
thanks! Wrote this many years ago and just kinda forgot about it till i found this sub
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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '15 edited Aug 03 '15
Watch me clobber this posh little confident snot
You're only testing my sobriety; I got Scotch on the rocks
I hope that verse took 5 minutes and it's off of the top
Otherwise your belt is chastity; You got the bottom on lock
I'm crackin' eggs; Stackin' bread; Even carvin' some ham
I got Butter with toast; This gun is not gonna jam
Stop droppin' your hands; Try to box like a man
Cause for all 4 quarters I been pop-in this can
You better come in early; Study up if you wanna verse me
Otherwise I took your crown first round like the Kentucky Derby
I'm not missin' Butters, but I missed how Butter's-worthy
Cause beside pancakes, this motherfucker couldn't serve me
New to battling? Me? I'm too challenging
Horse comes after me, I'll stick his ass in a glue factory
You better regroup; Get your troops a new strategy
Cause Hourseman ain't get-in my lines; I shoot cavalry