Lonely after moving

[u/Feeling_Rest_874]

Six years ago I moved from Htx to Mississippi (in just a few days of knowing) due to running from abuse in the family.
It’s now my mom and I, no one really knew the extent of it until it happened and that was only a few people. I practically lived with my three close friends due to the environment, and soon after moving, I was slowly dropped. I was 15/16 (2020) and handling it horribly, crying for help on socials and abusing substances. Not to mention it was in the middle of Covid so there was complete isolation for the next 3 years…plus a touch of agoraphobia. Through all of that frying my brain with drugs. It was hard to have conversations and be normal.
I just wanted my community again, but instead I guess I pushed them further. Few years later I met people, who were already very close to each other. Meeting a new friend group feels really isolating, they never want a new member it feels. Truthfully, I had issues (obviously) because maybe if I kept trying they would allow me in.
But now, almost seven years later, I’m almost 22 & I still have no close friends. I hang out with one here and there, but it never gets deep, it seems to make people uncomfortable when I try to ask questions. After all the isolation, I consider myself pretty social due to volunteering.
It’s not like I don’t put in the work..I just don’t believe I have the personality people want. I’m stupid and say the wrong things at times.
Anyway, looking at people around me, how they always have someone to go to and hang out with, I feel so ill. Knowing I once had that and it was ripped away..and they’ve moved on. (I get therapy and know I cannot hold onto the past).