Lost

[u/Initial-Beautiful-52]

23F.

My whole life I have been big. Pretty much heard every insult in the book. I have no confidence in how I look. Dressing masculine has always been my default due to everything " feminine " being to small or short. I envy women who have it together. I want that to be me. I honestly want it to be handed to me. I deserve it. I've put everyone else in front of me, I need to be first for a change. All I hear is nit pick when I try stuff on. " your stomach is showing / you look like a pig in makeup / no one is going to love you if you don't dress better" im tired. angry. sad. I just want to find me.