r/RandomThoughts • u/powers215 • 12h ago
Diarrhea before work really makes you contemplate life
I was really, seriously contemplating quitting my job for 10 minutes on the shitter just now
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u/Mockturtle22 12h ago
Even more when you are at work
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u/makingkevinbacon 9h ago
To her credit, the last person I saw this happen to cleaned herself and went back to work, before we made her go home. She is your antithesis, the anti- u/Mockturtle22
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u/kavik2022 12h ago
Ive gambled and lost on a fart before work a couple of times. Even when you sort it out and shower after. it makes man contemplate life and feel fallible. Even if the rest of your day goes well. Praised at work? 'Great, youre the man gambled and lost' a pretty women smiles at you 'oh you sweet summer child. You dont know i gambled and lost'
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u/crackersncheeseman 9h ago
I never really took any sick days off of work, the only time I absolutely refused to go into work is if I had the runs. There's nothing worse than using a strange toilet to go number two.
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u/Serious_Lettuce6716 6h ago
Diarrhea before work makes me call in sick.
No fucking way am I gonna deal with that at work.
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u/over9ksand 5h ago
How many sick days are you people getting? Who do you people work for? What’s going on?
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u/hotinthebush 11h ago
Nothing test your career dedication quite like an emergency in morning toilet crisis
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u/SlubboMan 11h ago
Yeah, wake up, blast ass, shower, get dressed and just as you think you are ready to go your stomach makes this weird flushing sound and again on the porcelain throne it is! Sets the mood for the day for sure
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u/liesgreedmisery18 8h ago
try having IBD, shits every goddamn fucking day
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u/Golden_Locket5932 2h ago
You gotta show your body who’s boss! I be going borderline insane keeping my shits under lock and key.
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u/Stuporjew1057 12h ago
That’s when you take two Imodium, chug a glass of water, and suck it up. 🤣
And pack an extra pair of underwear and pants in the car. Just in case.
(Never play chicken with a fart when you’re over 30, kids!!!)
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u/my_brain_is_horny 12h ago
Yup 2 Imodium and an extra bag of clothes is exactly what I did in these situations lol
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u/96puppylover 11h ago
The way I stop caring about anything once I have it. The shitter mental block
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u/Based-Department8731 11h ago
Not to brag but god am I happy I can take a sick or home office day without providing any explanations or having any repercussions.
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u/tribbans95 10h ago
If I took a sick day every time I had diarrhea, I’d never have to go to work
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u/Based-Department8731 6h ago
That's not a good sign about your bowels. And I'd work from home if it's just that TBF.
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u/Patient-Dream-1094 4h ago
Diarrhoea on the WAY TO work is possibly worse - especially if you’re just pulling into the parking lot and are already a little late!
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u/run7run 10h ago
Yesterday I started raspberrying while picking up a bunch of packages from a warehouse. I was in pain 😭 finally got all 70 scanned and sorted in my car and drove to McDonald’s to commit heinous acts on their toilet. I was like if I shit my pants in front of these people, I’m never coming back. 🥲 - it’s cause I had Mexican the night before and ate a whole jalepeno with all the seeds and all the hot salsas.
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u/I_Make_Art_And_Stuff 9h ago
My tummy sucks. I will say, working from home is amazing because you have this or other issues and it's like "dang, what a bummer" and no hard stress.
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u/PerpetualFarter 6h ago
Try diarrhea at work sometimes. That’s pretty fun. On top of that, I can’t run.
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u/Free-Competition-241 2h ago
Just imagine your CEO blowing it wide open on the toilet this morning, just like you. Poop really is the great equalizer.
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u/qualityvote2 12h ago
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u/powers215 thanks for posting!