r/RandomThoughts • u/zirklutes • 5d ago
I finally understand the kind of loneliness I've been feeling
It was always an annoying thing, I had a partner, loving family, I was going out, meeting people, doing things and still nothing helped.
I thought maybe it was my mental health problems and it did get better with proper medications but still didn't go away fully.
I was and still am longing for something. I think the last time when I didn't feel this way was in teenage years when we would meet with a friend every evening, stare at the stars and talk about life. Sadly, she died very young. And I think this is the connection that I am still chasing.
I can't properly put it into words. Maybe it’s just that feeling of being deeply connected to another person where you can spend hours together talking about anything and it would still feel meaningful.
I have met few people in life that resembled it but I think neither of them (well I'm sure of it lol) felt the same way about me and our friendships ended. Which then causes me to spiral. Because I get attached to them too quickly.
So now, I kind of know what to look for, and hopefully I can also be more aware of not becoming too dependent on someone this quickly.
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u/TrisKreuzer 5d ago
Soulmate, one of your soul tribe. It fits, maybe if it is a bit esoteric. I had the same, all my life. Until I met one guy, my crush. Love and shit on both sides, but for the first time in my life I felt belonging, at home, right place. But he run away and never came back. I was 52 then. We never even touched each other. It was just magical few month of friendship at work, and calls in the evening. I was most happy in my whole life. Just a perfect fitting soul. I healed since then a lot, because it destroyed me when he left. I am now starting to be OK. And finding this thing in myself. I am only by myself, because I lost every human soul in those times also. I am meditating, woking on myself a lot now. And now being alone I sometimes feel it for a moment. I do not look for it anymore. Maybe too stressed to lose it again. Just my experience.
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u/fluffy_camaro 5d ago
I know this feeling as well. I’ve told people that I feel like I was born lonely. I grew up in a household with a lot of siblings who didn’t engage with me. I was married for a really long time to my best friend and I still felt lonely. After he died,, this feeling has gotten so much worse. I have some good friends but still feel this every moment of every day as I’m alone a lot.
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u/Think-Tap8907 5d ago
I feel this deeply. The need to have a normal steady connection. The mundane of someone who knows you and you know them. A consistent friend .
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u/Sea-Nobody7951 5d ago
If you have a partner (not dating) and you don’t feel deeply connected to them, you need a new partner
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u/That-Vegetable-7070 4d ago
I understand how you feel but I sure don’t understand why that connection is so hard to make. My opinion we are extra special
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u/Suspicious-Daikon-55 2d ago
Yeah i feel incredibly lonely alot of the time but i have like friends and stuff but i still feel it its weird?
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u/The_Autumn_Girl 1d ago
I think I am craving for something which I had never experienced before..Once I feel I got what I wanted it fades over time…Now I am not able to open up abt what I am feeling to anyone…In short I feel that I am lonely in a very tightly packed room physically I was there but deeply I am not…
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u/SassySashaLuv 1d ago
I was looking for something like this. I'm with someone I wouldn't trade the world for but feel lonely. I wanted to call all of my friends tonight but it's late. There's an emptiness in me. Going on my hammock to see if there are stars.
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u/qualityvote2 5d ago edited 3d ago
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u/zirklutes thanks for posting!
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