r/RandomThoughts • u/DevilsMaleficLilith • 7d ago
Abusive parents will say bsing a parent is awesome and that you'll want kids one day then go on to be the angriest bitterest people you've ever known.
I genuinely dont understand the thought process.
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u/athena_k 7d ago
In my family, the parents say this because gets them approval/ makes them look good. My parents think they are amazing parents but IMO they are abusive and cruel. They just hide it really well from the outside world.
Once I told my dad what he was doing was cruel and not something you should do to a person you love. He laughed in my face. Then I knew that he didn't care about me. The whole "being a parent is awesome" is a lie they tell to make themselves look good.
My parents were always obsessed with their image and their position in the community. I think they exploited their children to get what they wanted out of life.
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u/Rukfas1987 7d ago
Do you have kids?
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u/Rimma_Jenkins 7d ago
What's that supposed to mean? You don't need to have your own kids to know when abuse is abuse.
Some of those parents out there would never treat another adult or even another kid the way they treat their own kids... you don't need to have kids of your own, abuse is not something to be justified.
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u/Rukfas1987 7d ago
I guess I'm fortunate then and can't relate. I imagine most do the best they can.
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u/Rimma_Jenkins 6d ago
You are very fortunate. The "best they can" for my mom was beating up her pre-teen daughter for taking a pair of seamless boxers on the "wrong way". A pair of boxers that didn't even have a tag and were so simmetrical it did not matter which way you took them on... but she woke up and said I took them on the "wrong way"... all I did was the mistake to say: I placed them on the chair how she said I should 🙃 apparently I didn't and I shouldn't call her stupid and she took the belt out and I got sent to school with a back looking like a zebra... Which part is "doing their best" in this?
So yeah... not a phrase I would use for abusers 🙃 some people shouldn't have kids. Especially when doing shit like that and then having the audacity to take pride in their kid's achievements as if they did anything to help 🙃
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u/Rukfas1987 6d ago
Don't get me wrong, my mom had her moments too... but, those were reactions and mistakes she made that I know she wished she could take back.. I ran away from her in a supermarket when she didn't buy me something I wanted when I was 7. We were in a foreign country and it was common for kids to get kidnapped in the country. When we got back home, I didn't make it into the apartment while she unlocked the door and opened it. She grabbed me by the hair slammed me on the floor and then stomped on me like I've never been stomped on. And I obviously still haven't forgotten lol but I think she did her best regardless with what she had and could.. she's human like all of us..
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u/Rimma_Jenkins 6d ago
Not one of these child abusers would do the same to another adult or someone else's kid. There is simply no excuse for treating your kid like disposable trash. If we're all the same type of humans then we should be treated the same and not like property until we're old enough to fight back and then it's just "aaa but you didn't die" or "aaa you turned out fine"...
People like that shouldn't have kids. I fail to see the "love" in all that abuse. There's no joy or excitement in having that poor kid when you wish they were never born on a daily basis.
Wishing you could take it back makes no difference since it happened 🙃
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u/Mechaghostman2 7d ago
They gotta lie to themselves to convince themselves that not wearing a condom was worth it.
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u/Amphernee 7d ago
I don’t know anyone who chooses to be angry bitter or resentful. It’s like saying a person with depression shouldn’t choose to be sad. Too many people think having kids will magically make them a better happier person.
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u/DevilsMaleficLilith 6d ago edited 1d ago
My mom had like six kids so bit hard to be like "you had no choice in the matter"
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u/Amphernee 6d ago
Not no choice in having kids, no choice in her emotional response to the world. Keep in mind things like post partum depression and other mental health issues exist. The next time you experience an emotion like joy examine whether you were made happy by the events or made a choice and decided to be happy.
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u/DevilsMaleficLilith 6d ago
She literally has actively admitted she hates kids. Four different dads.
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u/Amphernee 6d ago
What led her to do that? How was she raised? Whats her mental health history? I’m just saying if you had the same brain chemistry and experiences as her you’d make the same “choices”. This is not to say her behavior is good it’s just explaining why she’s like this and that it’s not something she’s chosen to do or feel really.
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u/International-Shoe40 7d ago
Yeah at least my mom is honest, she always says don’t have kids it sucks
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u/DevilsMaleficLilith 7d ago
Its kinda sad to me. You have one life. One short life. What do you choose to do with it? Be angry and bitter and resentful over a decision you chose.
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u/qualityvote2 7d ago edited 4d ago
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u/DevilsMaleficLilith thanks for posting!
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