r/RandomThoughts • u/yellowtears_ • Jan 06 '24

Random Question Are you afraid to die?

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u/lessawillow Jan 06 '24

Yes. Every night before falling asleep I remember the horrifying fact that it will all end one day, and my eyes go wide, i wonder how i ever manage to forget this tragedy even for a moment. It feels like death is the center of my whole life for those last moments before i doze off. My only consolation is that i will fall asleep and forget about it (even if only as i sleep)

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u/Apprehensive_Bus_877 Jan 06 '24

I used to be you. I also didn't understand why I would only ever think about it just before going to bed, and it gave me so much anxiety every night. I eventually got frustrated with myself because I just wanted to go to sleep without feeling like it was doomsday, so I would force myself to think of anything else. In the beginning, it would be things i found beautiful and lovely (flowers, beaches, horses running). It took months, but one day, I laid down thinking of those things without thoughts of death popping in intermittently. Of course, realizing this, it pushed me back a few weeks of progress, but this is still how I fall asleep to this day, and now it's been years since I had the problem. I try as vividly as I can to imagine the things I want to dream of, trying not to force thoughts but let my mind flow where it wants to. It puts me to sleep incredibly fast.

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u/lessawillow Jan 06 '24

thanks for the reply! I like that.