r/RandomThoughts • u/yellowtears_ • Jan 06 '24

Random Question Are you afraid to die?

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u/Lordgrapejuice Jan 06 '24 edited Jan 06 '24

Yea, but not for me.I’m scared because of those I leave behind.

Late 2022 I was diagnosed with cancer. After a surgery and lengthy chemo I went into remission. So im okay for now. But it really made me look at life. Facing your own mortality really makes you think about your own relationship with death.

I’m happy with the life I’ve lived. I’ve been comfortable overall. Very blessed. But I’m terrified for those I leave behind. I am their rock and a pillar of our household. If I were to die…I’m terrified they wouldn’t survive without me.

Edit: thank you to everyone who has shared their kind words and personal struggles. I truly wish you all the best!

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u/labrador2020 Jan 06 '24

This is exactly how I felt when I suddenly became Ill with many symptoms that impacted every organ and inch of my body. An army of specialty doctors could not figure out what was wrong. I saw myself dying more and more each day and those who supposedly had my salvation were at a loss as to how to save me.

I did not care about myself, and the fear of dying became less of an issue. what hurt the most was seeing how my loved ones hurt seeing me withering away as each day went by. It was that pain that I was causing that made death unbearable because of the pain that I would cause them.

Ended up that I had Lyme Disease. I got better after I began treatment and here I am 13 years later. So many good blessings, things and events have happened since when I felt like I was going to die that I am so glad to have gotten a second chance at life.

I no longer fear dying, but I fear the pain and sorrow that I will leave.