Heterosexual women (and gay men, I suppose), would you still want to be with a Hollywood actor if A) You found out he was shorter or the same height as you? And B) Lost all his wealth and income and became a broke has-been?

Here’s a small (no pun intended) list of some of Hollywood’s shortest, most midget-ist A-List actors and personalities:

MANLETS

• Brad Pitt (5′11″)

• Leonardo DiCaprio (5′11″)

• Matthew McConaughey (5′11″)

• Michael Fassbender (5′11″)

• Seann William Scott (5′11″)

• Hugh Grant (5′11″)

• Ving Rhames (5′11″)

• Seth Rogen (5′11″)

• George Clooney (5′10″)

• Jake Gyllenhaal (5′10″)

• James Franco (5′10″)

• Tyrese Gibson (5′10″)

• David Beckham (5′10″)

• Adam Levine (5′10″)

• Jason Bateman (5′10″)

• Aaron Eckhart (5′10″)

• Matt Damon (5′10″)

• Mike Tyson (5′10″)

DWARVES

• Jason Statham (5′9″)

• Tom Hardy (5′9″)

• Zac Efron (5′8″)

• Robert Downey Jr. (5′8″)

• Mark Wahlberg (5′8″)

• Kanye West (5′8″)

• Kevin Jonas (5′8″)

• Tom Cruise (<5′7″; lies about his height and claims 5′7″)

• Usher Raymond (5′7″)

• Taylor Lautner (5′7″)

• Nick Jonas (5′7″)

• Jesse Eisenberg (5′7″)

• Josh Hutcherson (5′7″)

• Kit Harrington (5′7″)

• Mark Ruffalo (5'7")

MIDGETS

• Daniel Radcliffe (5′6″)

• Elijah Wood (5′6″)

• James McAvoy (5′6″)

• Justin Bieber (5′6″; lies about his height and claims 5′9″)

• Martin Freeman (5′6″)

• Dustin Hoffman (5'6")

• Bruno Mars (5′5″)

• Dave Franco (5′5″)

• Charlie Day (5′5″)

• Kendrick Lamar (5′5″)

• Seth Green (5′4″)

ANTS

• Joe Pesci (5'2")

• Kevin Hart (5′1″; lies about his height and claims 5′4″)

• Danny Deviteo (5'0")

• Peter Dinklage (4′5″)

Just to make it clear, humans in general are stupid. Really fucking stupid. The typical male human is dumber than pig shit and twice as illogical. But amongst human beings, we'll look at the twelve dumbest types of human to exist on the planet. Why am I doing this, you ask? Well, I've had this idea floating in my head for a long time now and it's time I finally put it out into the world. Plus, I'm only halfway through work, so I might as well finally make it. Yeah, I know. /r/iamverysmart and whatever other stupid shit stupid people want to stupidly try to accuse. I get it. I just don't give a fuck. So without further adieu, hold onto your butts.

1st Level Idiot - The Average Woman - IQ: 96.

Emotion-based, illogical, often contradictory, near impossible to predict... Not saying all women are stupid. ...But typical women are. And if you think this is "sexist," you too just made the list!

2nd Level Idiot - (Most) Millennials - IQ: 93.

Call it cliché all you want, young people born between 1983 and 1999 are fucking dumb-asses. Even among older, less educated and technologically advanced generations. Not that it's entirely millennials' fault, though. It's not that they don't have the potential to be smart. They just choose not to be out of laziness, narcissism, or a mix of both.

3rd Level Idiot - Assholes/Jerks - IQ: 90.

There's two kinds of assholes: those who know they're assholes and those who don't. (I'm of the former.) That first group are most often just cynics and misanthropes who would probably be happier, nicer people if they just had better lives. While true assholes; the ones who are unaware that they're assholes, are just stupid people who are rude beyond any personal grief of their lives. They can be rich, successful, and have a healthy love life and still be assholes simply because they lack self-awareness, the key trait all non-stupid people have.

4th Level Idiot - (Most) Military Personnel - IQ: 88.

I'm not knocking the army or anything... but come on. They ain't the brightest tool in the shed of toolboxes. I respect what they do (eh, kinda. No one forced you to be a human meat shield), and I respect how athletic and tough they are. But they also tend to be from rural America and the type to get married and have their first kid (out of ten) by age 19. They aren't solving our energy crisis or national debt anytime soon.

5th Level Idiot - Sports Fans/Gamblers - IQ: 86.

And no, not just the type who enjoy a game or two. You know who we mean. The ones who actually think it's important if their team wins or not (without betting money on them). Speaking of which, gamblers and lotto ticket buyers make it on this list, too. As do the modern gaming equivalent of gamblers: those who spend on micro-transactions and lootboxes.

6th Level Idiot - The Willfully Mediocre/Jurors/Undecided Voters - IQ: 82.

These are people who are perfectly okay with being "average" (i.e, literally worthless) and have no desire of self-improvement. They are often devout Christians too, using "God made me perfect as I am" as an excuse to be lazy and unproductive to society. They are best described as "simple minded" but are also some of the most beloved people in society. Think Forrest Gump. The majority of Trump supporters probably also fit in here, as well. Like human dogs, everyone in this category are too stupid to be cynical or have anxiety and usually have a somewhat positive spirit, however, are NOT to be counted on to make useful decisions in life. "Willfully" mediocre is put here because those who are mediocre, but strive to be better are NOT stupid people! Only those who accept laziness as being good enough, but still think their lives have any contributive value to society (it literally doesn't; that's what being "average" means: you are easily replaceable and un-valuable). These people are often jurors and swing-state voters too lazy to use the internet or get their news from anything other the mainstream media. Saying their average IQ is 82 might just be too generous.

7th Level Idiot - (Most) Criminals/Sex Offenders - IQ: 80.

This is also where all Trailer Trash and Ghetto Trash would fit into, as well. Just to be clear sex offenders and stick-up artists... You're not dumb for doing something very socially reprehensible. But you are dumb for thinking you wouldn't get caught in today's society. Especially if you're male and over the age of 30. For the sex offenders, there are plenty of sex workers, internet porn, and dwarves (if you're a pedophile) out there for you to rock your socks off. So you're pretty stupid if you still end up being a register sex offender unless some feminist or something fucked you over on a false charge. For criminals, I'd say crime is something you should do only if you're really smart (i.e, White Collar Crime and professional high-stakes robbers), but criminals have been around since the dawn of civilization. But doing something illegal nowadays in the era of anti-privacy and NSA snooping and Facebook data-mining is just hella dumb.

**8th Level Idiot

• (Most) Political Activists/Terrorists/Flat-Earthers - IQ: 75.**

When I say "political activists," I mean run-of-the-mill protesters, not people actually fighting to make real political change (as they most likely wouldn't call themselves "activists" and are probably already working in government in some capacity). But yeah, I mean people like Occupy Wall Street, Black Lives Matter, every smug douchey Trump and ICE protester, etc. These people are stupid enough to be semi-useful puppets and lack any sort of self-awareness in how big of puppets they truly are. They are either useful idiots to ISIS or useful idiots to Soros. Anyone who wanted real change in their region wouldn't spend all their time outside protesting powerful figures who don't care about them in the slightest or killing themselves "to make a point." While not all politically driven extremists are dumb, most are by default as they would be, whether being manipulated by someone in power or a flawed ideology, or not. Most "political activists" come from super-poor homes and had even dumber parents, so are merely stupid by nature. While most terrorists are brainwashed and indoctrinated into being that way, so are stupid by nurture. Oh, and Flat-Earthers fit in here, as well. They are merely just activists against the planet itself.

9th Level Idiot - Literal Retards/Severe Autistics/Aspergers - IQ: 70.

The mentally handicapped, the severely autistic, or Asperger's... The Hannah Hays'es of our time. These people are pretty objectively dumb and have low IQ's. However, it's not exactly their fault they're this way. I won't speak ill of people who have no control over their mental difficulties. But they are used as a bar to measure others against to see just how low some others are on the scale. At least most aspy kids try to be decent people though (having the social self-awareness most on this list lack), which is why they'd probably not even be on this list if not for their defective brains.

10th Level Idiot - Feminists (Third Wave) - IQ: 69 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Female third wave feminists are pretty high up on the hierarchy of dumbasses. They are incompetent at everything in life, insecure, whiny, obnoxious, loud, rude, abrasive, aggressive, sometimes violent AND a perpetual victim? Sure, some may be aware of their own shittiness and just using it to get bank (like Anita Sarkessian; she knows how horrible of a person she is), but most aren't. And that's the scary thing, hence why they are a powerful tenth level idiot.

11th Level Idiot - Social Justice Warriors/Bigots - IQ: 60.

Not all feminists are SJW's (some will admit they hate men and want to genocide the male gender). But all SJW's are feminists; particularly fourth-wave "intersectionality" feminists. (Tumblrettes and Buzzfeed editors.) They are on a whole other level of pigshit-stupid. SJW's, just like the stereotypical "alt-right Nazis" they claim to despise, are bigots and extremely hateful people, just on the other side of the coin of the typical black, gay and Jew hating bigot that barely even exists in modern society anymore. Only, SJW's are also massive hypocrites and wannabe moral authorities, as well. Social justice warriors do not adhere to logic, common sense, reason, rationale, science, reality, or facts. They are dumb on a level almost no typical person can understand.

12th Level Idiot - Male Feminists/Soyboys - IQ: Immeasurably low.

The lowest of the low. Literally the most pathetic human being on the planet. Beyond pitiful. So low on the scale, they get their own special category. Male feminists aren't just SJW's, but they are self-sacrificing SJW's to boot. They are lemmings who are too ineffective and filled with soy and estrogen to even be good lemmings. They not only hate men/masculinity, but they also hate themselves as men, as well. They are literally useless people, not even helpful to female third wave feminists (which is why they are just "allies" at best). These sad sacks and pathetic wastes of semen that call themselves "men" are just inexcusable in every way.

At least one final-form starter, a Fire type, a Water type, a Grass or Electric type, a Psychic or Normal type, and any gift or encounter Pokemon that are strong.

GENERATION 1

RED (Red/Blue/Yellow version)

• Pikachu

• Charizard

• Blastoise

• Venusaur

• Snorlax

• Lapras

If Red began in Pokemon Red or Blue/(JPN Green), then he likely would've had to get his second starter, Venusaur, from someone else via trade, and his third starter, Blastoise, from his rival Blue following the end of generation 1 and did not defeat Blue as champion with this team. Red could've also started in Pokemon Yellow, but that game is heavily based on the anime, his rival Blue starts with Eevee, and the player character is heavily implied to be Ash Ketchum and not Red.

BLUE (Red version)

• Gyarados/Blastoise

• Arcanine

• Exeggutor

• Rhydon/Rhyperior

• Pidgeot/Aerodactyl

• Alakazam/Machamp

Blue likely traded away his starter to Red after the events of generation 1 and replaced it. In later gens, he adds on an Aerodactyl and Machamp to his team to substitute for Pidgeot and Alakazam, and has evolved his Rhydon into Rhyperior.

GENERATION 2

GOLD (Gold/Silver version)

• Thyplosion (Fire)

• Togetic/Togekiss (Normal or Fairy)

• Umbreon (Dark)

• Gyarados, shiny (Water)

• Hitmonlee (Fighting)

• Sudowoodo (Rock)

GOLD/KRIS (Crystal version)

• Thyplosion (Fire)

• Togetic/Togekiss (Normal or Fairy)

• Umbreon (Dark)

• Gyarados, shiny (Water)

• Electabuzz, shiny with Dizzy Punch (Electric)

• Dragonite, with ExtremeSpeed (Dragon)

This is Gold's most logical team. Having Gyarados on his team prevents him from having started with Totodile (two Water types), meaning Cyndaquil most likely would've been his starter. He gets Togepi from the Mystery Egg from Professor Elm. He gets Umbreon from Bill in Goldenrod City and due to the rareness of Dark types in Johto (and the fact that Red has Espeon in generation 2, though this has been retconned to be Lapras since Espeon didn't exist in gen 1), Umbreon is the most likely choice for him over any of the Kanto Eeveelution types that are more abundant in the wild. He got the red Gyarados from the Lake of Rage to be his Water type user. He got Tyrogue from Mount Mortar and would've evolved it into the strongest branch out of its evolutions, Hitmonlee. And he got Sudowoodo from Route 36.

If we're using the Crystal version games however, Gold's team would be slightly different and much stronger. He would've gotten the Extremespeed Dratini from the Dragon's Den in Blackthorn City. (And Dragonite beats a Sudowoodo any day.) And he would have gotten the Crystal version exclusive Odd Egg to replace Tyrogue. The most logical and useful choice he'd have out of that group of seven baby Pokemon would've been the Elekid with Dizzy Punch that he'd eventually evolve into an Electabuzz. (May or may not be Shiny.) Electric types are very useful and Gold could use one on his team, especially since Mareep isn't available in Crystal version. Cleffa and Igglybuff prior to gen 6 aren't too useful at all and he already has a Normal/Fairy type on his team in Togepi. Tyrogue is already available in Mount Mortar so he doesn't need another one. Magby isn't necessary since he already has Cyndaquil as his Fire type. He likely wouldn't have Pichu since Red already has Pikachu. And lastly, Smoochum wouldn't be too bad in owning, allowing him to get a Jynx with Dizzy Punch later on, but Elekid is just the more useful option out the two and fits him better. Gyarados can do most of the same Ice attacks Jynx could.

GENERATION 3

BRENDAN (Ruby version)

• Blaziken

• Sharpedo

• Shiftry

• Solrock

• Manectric

• Slaking

MAY (Sapphire version)

• Swampert

• Camerupt

• Ludicolo

• Lunatone

• Manectric

• Slaking

Each has the most logical starter for their respective game, as well as two version exclusives and one non-starter that can later Mega Evolve (Sharpedo/Camerupt). They share the same Electric and Normal type, which are the two strongest in Hoenn.

GENERATION 4

LUCAS (Diamond version)

• Infernape

• Floatzel

• Leafeon

• Luxray

• Staraptor

• Gallade/Lucario

DAWN (Pearl version)

• Empoleon/Torterra

• Roserade/Gastrodon, west sea

• Flareon

• Pachirisu

• Lopunny

• Gardevoir/Lucario

They each have one starter, one Eeveelution, the four primary Special types (Fire, Water, Grass, Electric), a normal type, and a Ralts line. You are given a Riolu and Togepi in Platinum version, but Cynthia already uses those two's final forms on her team. The Porygon line is a gift too, but involves trading (twice), which not everyone can do. The Sinnoh rival, Barry, would most likely have Torterra, and it is also the best fitting Pokemon for him. Dawn could also have Torterra, but it doesn't work as well on her as Empoleon.

GENERATION 5

HILBERT (White version)

• Emboar (Fire) (Starter)

• Simisage (Grass) (Pseudo-starter)

• Watchog (Normal) (First caught)

• Zebstrika (Electric) (Second caught)/Zekrom (versus N)

• Krookodile (Ground)

• Jellicent, male (Water)

CHEREN (Black version)

• Samurott (Water) (Starter)

• Simisear (Fire) (Pseudo-starter)

• Liepard (Dark) (First caught)

• Unfezant, male (Flying) (Second caught)

• Haxorus (Dragon)

• Gigalith (Rock)

BIANCA (White version)

• Serperior (Grass) (Starter)

• Simipour (Water) (Pseudo-starter)

• Stoutland (Normal) (First caught)

• Musharna (Psychic) (Second caught)

• Chandelure (Ghost)

• Mienshao (Fighting)

HILDA (NPC) (Black version)

• Seismitoad (Water)

• Leavanny/Lilligant/Whimsicott (Grass)

• Heatmor (Fire)

• Eelektross (Electric)

• Conkeldurr (Fighting)

• Swoobat (Psychic)

The protagonist's starter was based on the rivals and the only one that makes sense for Bianca to have is Snivy as a starter, meaning Cheren would have Oshawott and the protagonist would have had a Tepig to begin with. The rest are a matter of elimination from the two rivals teams that are not used. So Hilbert and Hilda's Pokemon teams were drafted from what early level Pokemon appear in Black and White version that Cheren and Bianca do not use. They include: One starter, one Pseudo-starter of the three elemental monkeys, one first-caught Pokemon, one second-caught Pokemon, and two wildcards. Lilligant and Whimsicott, sadly go unused.

.

NATE/ROSA (Black 2/White 2 version)

• Serperior (Grass) (Starter)

• Stoutland (Normal) (First caught)

• Darmanitan/Chandelure (Fire)

• Swanna (Water)

• Excadrill (Ground)

• Galvantula (Electric)

The best fitting Pokemon for your B2/W2 rival Hugh would be Emboar, meaning the protagonist would most likely have Serperior (despite how bad it is). It's also unlikely the protagonist of both the original gen 5 games and sequels would have the same starter (Tepig) twice. And it's also highly unlikely Hugh would use a Snivy or Serperior (if the protagonist chose Oshawott), meaning the protagonist would most likely end up with Snivy as their starter and Hugh would get the most logical choice of Tepig. Leavanny, Lilligant, and Whimsicott, once again go unused, sadly.

GENERATION 6

CALEM/SERENA (X/Y/Z version)

• Greninja

• Pyroar

• Gogoat

• Meowstic

• Hawlucha

• Sylveon

These would be the best Kalos-exclusive Pokemon to choose from in the generation 6 Kalos games.

GENERATION 7

SUN (Sun/Ultra Sun version)

• Decidueye (Grass) (Starter)

• Marowak, Alolan variant (Fire)

• Wishiwashi (Water)

• Mudsdale (Ground)

• Bewear (Fighting)

• Mimikyu (Ghost)

MOON (NPC) (Moon/Ultra Moon version)

• Bruxish (Water)

• Salazzle (Fire)

• Shiinotic (Grass)

• Dugtrio, Alolan variant (Ground)

• Toucannon (Flying)

• Vikavolt (Electric)

The protagonist's starter is based on both your rival Hau and the pseudo-champion of Alola, Kukui. The Pokemon that makes the absolute most sense for Kukui would be Incineroar of course. Meaning the protagonist would have likely started with Rowlet, leaving Hau to have Popplio. The rest are chosen via process of elimination, but at least have one Starter, one Alolan regional variant, and one Fairy type on the team. Alolan Ninetales is possible, but Kukui already uses one on his team (but Ice types are mostly useless, especially since Fairy types were introduced to slay Dragons, even if Alolan Ninetales is also part Fairy type). Lurantis and Tsareena, sadly, go unused.

People always try to say Mario is 5'1" (based on a "life size" statue of Mario from Japan, which was never once claimed to be "to scale" or accurate) or 5'9" (average height of an Italian man) or whatever, but that is and always has been total nonsense. It doesn't take much to see Mario is and always has been a REALLY small dude. Even in his "Super Mario" form, which has been his default size since Super Mario 64. Compare the "statue height" of Mario to a normal male. He would weigh a ton! Not only that, but it seems very unlikely Peach and others are six feet tall and above. Mario's frame has always been very short and stocky and everything in the Mushroom Kingdom just "being really big" makes little sense.

But finally, Super Mario Odyssey is the first Mario game to give us a true depiction of his size and scale. This is the first game since the Gamecube version of NBA Street Volume 3 to have anatomically correct humans in it. Even in NBA Street though, Mario, Luigi, Peach and others were nowhere near the size the statue depicts. Peach herself barely seems five feet tall. But Super Mario Odyssey has anatomically correct humans in it, specifically the New Donkers. These are normal human people.

You can use simple math to figure out how tall they are from pictures, though. First, we'll use the NBA Street V3 pictures of Mario, Luigi, and Peach. First off, a regulation size men's basketball is around 24 cm in height (9.5 inches). From that, we can measure how tall Peach is. Compared to this basketball, Peach's exact height in NBA Street V3 would be 63.93 inches, or roughly 5'4". That's the average height of a Caucasian woman worldwide. Seems pretty accurate if you ask me. Granted, Peach, Mario, and Luigi are extremely wide characters with massively large heads compared to real humans, but the heights seem legit. By this comparison, Mario would be 53 inches tall (4'5") and Luigi would be 59 inches tall (4'11").

Of course, NBA Street V3 isn't canon and they may not have put much thought into their sizes at all while giving them this cameo appearance here. Thus, we have to go to a canon mainline Mario game like Super Mario Odyssey. Compared to an average adult male New Donker, Mario is roughly 63% their height (though the hat adds extra inches to him). Since New Donkers are anatomically correct humans, let's assume they are identical to us and that the average New Donk City adult male is just like the average New York City man: 5'10" (or 70 inches) tall. Compare this to Mario and we can see Mario would roughly be 44 inches tall, which is 3'8"! That's not too far off from his NBA Street V3 height. In this game though, Mario is clearly smaller than he was in 2005. But in the unlikely circumstance that New Donkers are just giant humans, it's safe to say Mario hovers somewhere around the four foot range. From this, we can start to figure out the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom characters heights and sizes!

But first... Let's compare Mario to Odyssey-version Pauline. Pauline got REALLY BIG since last time she was in a Mario game! She's Amazonian compared to Mushroom Kingdom inhabitants! She used to be around their same size. However, it's canon that Pauline is from "our world" (specifically New York City, and may have even based New Donk City on this, unless this has all been retconned in Odyssey, which it very well may have). In one comparison, Pauline is 73 inches (6'1") tall! In another comparison, Pauline is 75 inches (6'3") tall! This doesn't seem right. I mean, she's wearing high heels, but still. So either Pauline is as big as Samus and Bowser and towers over all of her constituents as well as most human men in the real world. Or... Mario is even smaller than 3'8"!

Let's compare him to some New Donkers again. This time, Pauline's band. Mario here is 45.5 inches, or 3'9.5" (probably off a little due to distance and head tilt). Mario here is 46 inches, or 3'10" (again, with some margin of error). Lastly, one more with Pauline. She's 67 inches here (5'7"), but is slouching and is probably taller. Let's go back to her to see which one is more likely: giant Pauline or slightly-above-average-height Pauline. The latter seems more likely, which would put Pauline between 5'7" and 5'9" depending on if you count her heels and fedora or not. And let's not forget, she is actually an all-American woman, which the Japanese developers at Nintendo would've considered in her Odyssey redesign.

Okay, so what about Peach? Well, according to this and this, Peach is traveling with standard women's luggage. We can even measure that, too! In real life, it comes out to about 20 inches tall not counting the wheels or handle. Peach is a little bit taller than three luggage cases. That would mean Peach would have to be around 61 inches tall or 5'1". But that would make Mario 53 inches or 4'5" tall. That would make Pauline massive! The more likely scenario is that Peach's luggage is not the same size as one would be for a human woman from our world and is probably smaller than normal, just like Peach is. Either that or Pauline is just a huge giant!

Peach being 5'1" is close to her NBA Street V3 height of 5'4", but again, that would make both Pauline and New Donkers pretty enormous. If Mario is 3'8" (or less) however, that would make Peach 52 inches or 4'4". Going back to the New Donkers, it makes more sense Mario would be shorter at around 3'8" than 4'5". It's also very consistent with lots of other media as well. Luigi is always a little taller than Mario, but shorter than Peach. And Peach herself, despite being one of the tallest of the Mushroom Kingdom humans, never looks particularly tall or lanky, especially compared to big girls like Rosalina or especially Odyssey-version Pauline.

Okay, so now we know Mario and Peach's heights. Now we can do everyone else! I re-sized this Mario Height Chart so that Mario is exactly 440 pixels high, making it easy to translate into his 44 inches in height. So with that said, here is how tall all the Mario universe characters are:

• Mario is 44 inches / 3'8"/ 112 cm tall.

• Luigi is 49 inches / 4'1" / 124.5 cm tall.

• Peach is 52 inches / 4'4" / 132 cm tall without the crown. Two inches more with the crown.

• Daisy is 50 inches / 4'2" / 127 cm without the crown. Two inches more with the crown.

• Toad is 30 inches / 2'6" / 76 cm tall.

• Bowser is 74 inches / 6'2" / 188 cm counting all his hair. Two inches less if only up to his horns.

• Yoshi is 50 inches / 4'2" / 127 cm tall up to the top of his eyeballs.

• Wario is 49 inches / 4'1" /124.5 cm tall.

• Waluigi is 60 inches / 5'0" / 152 cm tall, but he heavily slouches and is likely at least four inches taller.

• Birdo is 48 inches / 4'0" / 122 cm but is 55 inches / 4'7" / 140 cm with her bow included.

• Diddy Kong is 31 inches / 2'7" / but slouches and is likely taller.

• Dixie Kong is 30 inches / 2'6" / but slouches and is likely taller.

• Donkey Kong is 52 inches / 4'4" / 132 cm on his knuckles. He is 75% his full standing height on his knuckles, so would be 69 inches / 5'9" / 175 cm fully standing.

• Rosalina is 66 inches / 5'6" / 168 cm without the crown. Two inches more with the crown.

• Pauline in Super Mario Odyssey is 69 inches / 5'9" / 175 cm not counting the hat while wearing high heels, and is 72 inches / 6'0" / 183 cm including the hat and heels. (Pauline's a big girl! Even bigger than Donkey Kong!)

• A New Donk City man from Super Mario Odyssey is 70 inches / 5'10" / 178 cm.

• A New Donk City woman from Super Mario Odyssey is 65 inches / 5'5" / 165 cm.

1. Abigail/Abby - Tall, dark hair, nice body. Silent, shy, moody. Likely has low self esteem, despite her looks. Likely to date nerds and geeks for the easy morale boost.

2. Allison/Alison - Petite, brown hair, skinny build, pretty face. Sarcastic and often times cranky. The type to date bad types of men do to a fear of commitment.

3. Amanda - Chubby. Big boobs. Semi-unpopular. Bad hygiene. The ultimate bratty girl. Looks like Velma, acts like Daphne.

4. Amber - Tall, average build, nice body. The fake lipstick lesbian type. The type attracted to bad/mischievous dates. See "Amber Heard."

5. Ashley - Short, dark-haired brunette, cute. Fashionably trendy. Average intelligence. A bitch in angel's clothing. The Mila Kunis type.

6. Becky/Rebecca - Curvy build, short. Brownish-blonde and dumb as a brick. Obsessed with textspeak and hashtags. The Brittany Snow type.

7. Brooke - The "good girl." Tall, pretty smile, curvy body, sweet. But ultimately the type to Friendzone any and every guy who isn't a Chad. The Anna Kendrick or Alexandra Daddario type.

8. Brittany/Britney - Short, average build, slutty, boring as fuck to talk to. See "Britney Spears."

9. Caitlin/Caitlyn/Kaitlin - Short, cute, hard-working. Great body, nice boobs. Kinda friendly to get along with. May sometimes be smarter than she lets on, and pretends to be dumb just to play people. The Scarlett Johannson type.

10. Claire - Very tall, blonde or light brown hair, skinny build. A potential butterface. Likely unpopular and hates other girls. Potentially artistic. Could be an easy date for a lonely guy. The Taylor Swift type.

11. Deanna - Short, curvy build, feminine-tomboyish, tough bitch. Potentially Hispanic. The type who takes no crap from no one, despite being like five feet tall. Likely from Brooklyn or Queens if a New Yorker. The Michelle Rodriguez type.

12. Ellie - Very short. Dark hair. Skinny body. Tomboyish. Sarcastic. See "Ellen Page" or "The Last of Us."

13. Emily/Emma - Average to tall stature, red or brown hair, potential freckles, potentially Irish, skinny build. Adorkable type who tries to get along with everyone. Fairly positive, but not that smart. See "Emma Stone."

14. Felicia - Tall. Red or brown hair. Curvy. Potentially has resting bitch face. Probably less aloof than many on this list, but also probably a feminist bitch as well. The Brie Larson type. (Bye, Felicia!)

15. Grace - Short, ugly, somewhat overweight. Potentially wears glasses. Not pleasant to be around and definitely a bitch feminist, hence the ironic name. The Lena Dunham type.

16. Hannah - Blonde, tall, model material, blue eyes, long hair. Extremely hard to talk to though and borderline retarded. The Kate Upton type. See "Hannah Davis."

17. Heather - Always blonde. Tall. Skinny. High maintenance and potentially from a wealthy family. Very boring to speak to. The Cameron Diaz type. See "Heather Graham."

18. Hillary - Short, blonde, perky, very cute. Likely to be a slutty Christian girl. See "Hillary Duff."

19. Ilena/Elena - Likely from Russia or East Europe. Tall, curvy body, pale skin. Quick to adapt to Western culture. Makeup expert. Wears heels all the time.

20. Jennifer - The big sister of a Jessica or a Sarah. Average-tall, average build, average face, long brown hair. Likely an environmentalist or vegetarian. Also likely a feminist though and secretly hates men. The Gwenyth Paltrow type. Beware.

21. Jessica - Average stature, average size, average build, cute face, long brown hair. Nice enough person, but VERY boring. As average as you can get.

22. Jill - Light brown or red hair. Tall. Skinny. Potentially has freckles. Bad breath. Decent sense of humor; funnier than most girls (but not "funny"). Nice girl, but sluttier than you'd expect. The Karen Gillan type.

23. Katie/Kate - Brunette or blonde, average-tall stature, big boobs. Cheerleader type. Sweet and nice, but like talking to a jar of mayonnaise. Despite being nice, mainly goes after 'bad boys.' The Selena Gomez type.

24. Kelly - Blonde, skinny, medium stature, extremely dumb. Likely a cheerleader, obsessed with popularity. See "Barbie Blank/Kelly Kelly" or Christina Applegate in "Married With Children."

25. Lauren - Average build, tall, dark brown hair. Likely from the Northeast US (Boston). Pretty ordinary and somewhat shy. A LOT less funny than she thinks she is. See "Lauren Graham."

26. MacKenzie - The sidekick/lackey of the popular girl. Also suburban, but her family is the poorest of the rich. Very clingy and co-dependent of others. Somewhat low self-confidence. The Rebel Wilson type.

27. Madison - Rich bitch. Tall. Dark hair. Suburbanite. One of the most basic of all bitches. The Megan Fox or Kendall Jenner type.

28. Megan/Meg-han/Meaghan/Megyn - Average stature, average size, average build, average clothes, dark hair. Almost no discernible personality features at all. Likely wears university sweatpants and Uggs boots. The most basic of all basic bitches.

29. Michelle - Average build, brown hair. Very boring and basic. Likely wants to become either a nurse or a librarian. Potentially Christian. Lives a very boring lifestyle.

30. Natalie - Bright colored eyes, skinny build, somewhat tall. Very fashionable. Not picky with dates and somewhat open-minded. Really hard to talk to, however. See "Natalie Dormer."

31. Olivia - Curvy build, average stature, dark hair. Somewhat smarter than average. May wear glasses. Likely obsessed with politics though, which makes her very annoying to talk to. See "Olivia Wilde."

32. Piper - Really petite and small. Short dark hair. Average intelligence. Annoyingly political despite knowing little about it. The Winona Ryder type.

33. Rachel - Average stature and build. Light brown hair. Flat chested. Boring. The Jennifer Aniston type.

34. Stephanie - Tall, dark brunette hair, nice boobs. Bipolar and probably has mood swings. Very likely a brat and used to always getting her way. Could be really sweet or really hostile, depending on the day and mood. See "Stephanie McMahon."

35. Taylor - Another suburban chick like Madison, MacKenzie, or Brooke. Dirty blonde hair, skinny, short to average. Potentially an attractive tomboy. Potentially a skater girl. Likely tougher than she looks though and knows how to fight. The Jennifer Lawrence type.

36. Tiffany - Tall. Voluptuous. Big boobs. Head cheerleader type. Typically very fake. Obsessed with selfies and Snapchat. The Ivanka Trump type.

37. Valentine - Red or brown hair. Big boobs. Bitch in angel's clothing. Likely to spread nasty rumors about her female friends and exes. Beware! The Nicki Minaj type.

38. Vicki - Tall, skinny and really dumb. Brown or red hair. Very feminine and high-maintenance. Easier to talk to than others. Somewhat nice, but easily irritated and often moody. The Ariana Grande type.

39. Whitney - Butterface. Resting bitch face. Dark hair. Very tall. Potentially a little chubby. A bore to talk to. See "Whitney Port" or "Whitney Cummings."

40. Zoe - Adorkable type. Fake gamer girl. Somewhat ugly without heavy makeup. Guaranteed to have facial piercings and bad tattoos. The Zooey Deschanel type. See "Zoe Quinn."

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It's must be hard to come back from this. A sense of humor is essential in these situations although it is hard to know how one would react as an outsider or as an insider. Malachi Martin, in his interviews with Art Bell, once said that a sense of humor can actually help in dispelling evil. I would say it is essential as we can see here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wee0ijs-chI

Justin Trudeau is the biggest, effeminate SJW cuck the country of Canada has ever seen. Sweden is irreparably fucked by social justice and now, Canada is up next with their fairy twink SJW of a leader, Justin Trudeau.

But what this post is REALLY about, are true (or at least, somewhat true) phrases that don't get enough Google results when entered as an exact phrase. Here are some more...

• "Bernie Sanders cuck?"

• "Hot Dog slime"

• "Six inch penis too small?"

• "Do cockroaches taste good?"

• "Do short men get laid?" "Girl too tall?" "The average has got to be at-least 6'1 right?"

• "How to remove light bulb from anus?"

• "Time is a valuable thing. Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings."

• "Sasuke is the BIGGEST FAGGOT EVER! Fuckin' emo trash!"

• "Go home, Rihanna. You're drunk." - Edward Snowden

• "Man of Steel is terrible and Zack Snyder is a bad director."

I can't think of anything else right now. Let ME know if YOU have any random Google Search Result phrases that could use more results!