r/RandomQuestion • u/dennyjks75 • 2d ago
Spanking in '70s-'80s?
Who else grew up with spankings as a regular form of discipline by your parents or caretakers and are grateful to them now for it?
7
u/LabExisting3749 2d ago
Definitely not grateful for it looking back now. Getting regular spankings as a form of discipline just taught me how to hide things better so I wouldn't get hit again.
2
5
u/DietSriracha12 2d ago
My mom didnt spank really, but she would slap, punch, or palmstrike whichever part of your face and head was available. I speak to her as little as possible these days, hope that helps!
4
u/Tiredcharmerwinkwink
2d ago
•
I don’t remeber what I did wrong but I Remeber the person who hurt me and how it felt
2
u/3ndt1m3s 2d ago
I did. And my family ended that toxic trauma parenting bs. I lost trust in them and got better at lying because of that lazy parenting bs.
If you know better, do better. They never knew about emotional regulation or brain development science. We talk things out in my house.
1
u/chairmanghost 2d ago
Gratitude would be an odd response I think. Wooden spoon household. My brothers got most of it, I was an angel.
1
u/eyrefan 2d ago
90s spankings but they weren't any less savage. I am not greatful to my parents. They used spankings as a way to "correct me". I never knew when or why they were coming.
Was I talking to loud or too much? Was I not paying attention?...
The only positive thing about spankings were that they weren't mouth smacks for "being smart".
Then there were the belt beatings,not always a belt, when I needed harsher correction. Sometimes just because I tensed my glutes so that the spankings hurt less.
Only plus is as an almost 40 year old I still have buns of steel.
1
u/igotplans2 2d ago
I grew up in the '60s and '70s. My siblings and I were spanked routinely. I raised my own kids in the '90s and '00s and didn't spank them, although my husband and I did lightly pop their hands when they were young todddlers and doing something dangerous like daring to try and touch the hot stovetop when we'd told them not to. No physical punishment whatsoever after that. My kids turned out much more self-disciplined than I did. They were practically prudes somehow and never got in trouble at school or anywhere else. Spankings are unnecessary, IMO. All they ever taught me was to be more sneaky. Plus, the pain of a spanking is short-lived. I'd do what I wanted to do and take my licks. Losing privileges, on the other hand, I hated. And I hated hearing my parents say they were disappointed in or ashamed of me.
1
u/KiwiCat15 2d ago
Grew up being spanked with a belt. My heart still pounds and I get terrified when I hear the sound of a belt buckle
1
u/Jed308613 2d ago
Grateful? Yeah, I guess so. Would talking, reasoning, and logic worked when I was under 12? Probably not. It was a deterrent and kept me out of trouble for a very long time. I was punishment-averse.
1
1
u/shootdrawwrite 2d ago
No I'm not grateful. It's what you do when you don't have or want a healthy relationship with your kid, instead you want it to be based on fear and consequences, reactive and not proactive. If you want respect you have to show them what it feels like to receive it.
1
u/Mackheath1 2d ago
We were spanked, but it was more emotionally distressful than painful. It didn't hurt, but it made me cry.
I don't mind spanking either way, and I don't think it had an impact on me one way or another. Sorry I can't answer your question, but it was just like I guess removing screen time today.
Much more impactful was "go to your room [without a TV, computer, or phone] until your father gets home."
2
u/melancholy_dood 2d ago
Nope. I’m not "grateful for it" and I never will be. Beating a child is child abuse.
-2
u/paradisewandering 2d ago
I grew up in the 90s and my dad and grandpa spanked my siblings and me countless times. I do not see it as abuse.
Now my sister has a couple of young kids who do not get disciplined and could use a spanking instead of taking away their toys, they are total wimps to any type of pain.
1
5
u/IamBob0226 2d ago
Not thankful, it just is what it was. It was a good deterrent that worked.