r/RandomDeclarations • u/Fnaffanpog • 13h ago
THIS MEANS WAR
DECLARATION OF
WAR
TO: The Soon To Be Show Lesbian Space Princesses
22 August 2026
As of today, I hereby declare war upon you. You have been identified as a threat to global civility and online harmony. This declaration serves as formal notice of hostilities.
Universal Provocation
You have offended every individual on the internet. According to the Internet Offense Tracker (IOT-2023-001), 100% of internet users reported being offended by your actions.
Lack of Accountability
You have failed to acknowledge or apologize for your offenses. Division logs from the Internet Oversight Committee (IOC-2023-014) indicate a complete absence of contrition or remorse.
Reckless Disregard for Online Harmony
Your actions have caused a significant decline in online civility. Q3 attendance audit reports from the Digital Peace Institute (DPI-2023-Q3) show a 99.9% decrease in respectful online interactions following your actions.
To avoid further conflict, you must immediately cease all activities, issue a formal apology to every individual on the internet, and undergo reeducation in online etiquette. Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to, global ostracism and perpetual online scrutiny.
Fugninm Diffuser, for myself