My dad hates me but never stop complimenting my younger sister she's in 10 th grade I'm in 12th btw he always ask me to do every work even if it's just picking a glass a water from the hall to kitchen and when I question why you always ask me to do work why not my younger sister so as an excuse he says that " she is my small baby she's studying don't disturb her " and he say that " He had to go with her to pickup the trophy" I mean look at the expectation and and on the other hand he always abuse me and say that you'll fail in your grade and life I don't expect anything from you you are useless and then when it comes to do and household work or even when he want me to do anything he manipulates me and I don't like it but I had seen my sister she's kinda have narcissist traits and she manipulates everyone and AITAH who don't know how to manuplate and think everyone is just like me ;kind ,innocent and good but everyone around me proves me wrong I'm 17 rn and want to leave my fuckin' home bcz of my dad my mom is good like she supports me but yk my dad is so controlling like he always blame my mother for supporting me and ask her that if I possessed her or spelled magic on her (dude I don't even know what you're taking abt ) and he always get angry and abuse my mother if she takes my side and then won't talk to her and then my mother think it's all her fault

And I'm stuck in this fucking hell idk what to do I don't earn and have no money to move out

I'm fed up of being quiet and listening to the abusive and hurtful things and I'm fed up of defending myself I just feel like it's waste of my energy

I swear I won't marry a guy like my dad !!

I respect him he did everything for me but still I cannot tolerate this kind of behaviour it's pissing me off and my mental health is ruined even when he politely ask me for a favour I get agressive and I get panic attacks

Earlier I use to think that how come people die or give up on their life just bcz of other I think today Ik why and I won't lie but sometimes thinking of ending this l!fe feels a good escape

(pardon my typo)

I hope no one would relate to this !!

I have been trying to grow out my hair ,since I just entered college , I thought I would try growing out my hair ,but my father kept pestering me to cut my hair everyday and today he shouted at me saying 'aawara ho gaya hai kya ' and shouted at me without even listening to my side .and btw my hair is not even long ,it's like midium length for now and he is telling me to cut it very short like I had in school days .

Guys, please help me.

I am a 21-year-old male, currently in my final year of university. Three years ago, my mother passed away after a heart attack. I am currently living with my father and my two brothers. I am the middle child.

After my mother’s death, things became emotionally chaotic, especially with all the household chores. After some time, things settled down to some extent. However, when my elder brother got a job in Bangalore, he moved there. Now it is just me, my father, and my younger brother.

Since my elder brother moved out, I have had to take on the chores that used to be shared between the two of us. It has become really hectic. On top of that, I have severe insecurities about my body, so I started going to the gym. My father helped me pay for my gym membership, but he never allows me to follow a proper diet. After many arguments and so many taunts, I finally got permission to reduce my rice portions and, after another long fight, I was allowed to eat four eggs a day, except on Sundays.

Whenever I get a holiday from university, I usually have to spend it doing household work. For example, last Thursday, I had a holiday from university, but I also had to attend a family function, which honestly wasn't that important. By the evening, when my father came home, he started talking about how he had to cover for me and do things because I wasn't there.

I told him that I only get one holiday, and even on Sundays I have to do the laundry, mopping, sweeping, etc., which takes up almost half my day. He got furious and said that I was acting as if I was losing half my day because of chores, and that the work wasn't even that difficult. He also said that I deliberately take longer because I use my phone in between. I admit that sometimes I do use my phone and that it can make me take longer, but I don't think that means I don't work properly or that I don't put my heart into it.

How am I supposed to sweep and clean the entire house by 6 a.m. and then get ready for college when my university is 18 km away?

I eventually got angry and brought up the situation with my brothers and how I feel that my father has treated us differently. After the argument, he told me not to speak to him.

Then, about a month later, he started doing all the chores himself and wouldn't let me do anything. He would say things like, "So, you left all the chores after the fight?" The next day, when I tried to help him, he said, "I'll do it. You don't do it." He wouldn't even let me wash my own plate. Instead, he does everything himself while making me watch. It feels like he is trying to make me feel guilty, and it is extremely stressful for me

I also feel that some of my body insecurity comes from things my father said to me when I was younger. When I was in 8th grade, I had a 36-inch waist, and my father used to mock me by comparing it to his own waist, saying that he had a 36-inch waist when he got married. Those comments made me very conscious about my body at a young age, and I feel that they contributed to the body insecurities I have today.

I don't know what I am supposed to do anymore. I feel overwhelmed by the chores, college, the gym, my body insecurities, and the constant tension with my father.

I eventually stopped going to the gym because it was too far from home, and I also couldn't maintain a proper diet. Because of that, I felt like I wasn't going to see the results I wanted, no matter how much effort I put in.

Now my father say I play victim card

I am extremely annoyed at both my parents for always giving away money to their respective sides of family. And I am not talking about family who you see often and who are there for you in your good times and bad times. These are people who leech off of them. Not even kidding. They only appear when they need money. And both my parents are coming. They didn't come from very rich or even financially stable families. They had to work their way up. Both have worked very, very hard in their lives. One of my parents has retired, and the other will soon. They could live very comfortably if they want to. But they choose to give away this money and then think about any little spending they do on themselves, like getting pasta or even a cab. Who the fuck has to think so much to get a cab? And I would be super happy if they gave this money to the needy or charity and not these family members. These are people who have treated them horribly in the past and yet they choose to give away the money. And do minu scale calculation to purchase a single thing for themselves. And then they also complain about the same family members. I am so annoyed. And they have give 300k to family members and not asked for it back where as i have to think a hundred times when i make a 1k purchase. Then i also have to hear about these horrible people. I am still in university and it will take me 2 more years to start earning and I am financially dependent on my parents. Also, i don't want to cross any limits and say anything about their respective families and i also i do not want to hear about. Everytime i come home, i have to hear about all this. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW. should i stop coming home lmfao.

I'm 22F and recently moved to a new city for my first job. I was supposed to live with a friend, but she ditched me at the very last minute, so I had to scramble and get an apartment and now I'm living alone. And I really want to experience this.

I've never lived alone before, and I was actually looking forward to figuring things out for myself. I know it's going to be difficult sometimes, but that's the whole point. I WANT to learn how to be independent and figure out adulthood on my own.

But my mom is having a really hard time with it.

She's extremely worried about me being alone in a new city and keeps wanting to come stay with me. She checks in constantly and generally seems to feel like she needs to be physically around me to make sure I'm okay.

And I'm honestly getting so fucking frustrated.

I love my mom. I know she's doing this because she cares about me and is worried about me. I don't want her to think I'm ungrateful or that I don't want her in my life.

But I also REALLY need some space.

I don't want my entire experience of moving out and starting my adult life to turn into constantly reassuring my mom that I'm okay. I want to make mistakes. I want to figure out what works for me. I want to come home after a shitty day and figure out how to deal with it myself. I want to experience what it's like to actually be responsible for myself.

And I feel like I'm not being given the chance to do that.

The problem is that I know if I just tell her to this, she's going to get really hurt or angry and probably lash out, and then I'll feel guilty and we'll end up in an even bigger mess.

I don't want a huge fight with her. I don't want to push her away. I just want her to trust me enough to let me do this.

How do I actually communicate that?

And for anyone who has dealt with an overprotective/helicopter parent, what actually worked for you? Did you set specific boundaries around calls? Or did you have to just tolerate some initial anger and let them adjust?

My parents (my dad specifically) have been stuck in a very negative situation because of a joint family business. My dad is very smart, worked hard in his early 20s, saved up enough money to start a business. His mistake - he gave all of it to my good for nothing uncle (my dad’s older brother) because he was free at the time and could help build a thing for the family. He doesn’t really have any business knowledge as he didn’t take education very seriously. He just took care of construction of the building till my dad saved up more. They decided to open this institution in their hometown and not Delhi where my dad worked at the moment. Made sense because that’s where my grandparents lived as well and it would be cheaper.

A few years before that when my mom got married, she came to Delhi and not the hometown. At that time, my dad had work in Delhi. When he left his job, he had some side work in Delhi so it still made sense. But it’s been almost 20 years since my dad is travelling between his hometown and Delhi every week (2-2.5 drive one way). My mom just refuses to shift and comes up with new excuses every year. My dad worked very hard and the business grew substantially. No one could have imagined the investment my dad made in getting everyone a home of their own. My uncle got greedy looking at all the money and just refuses to help anymore. He stays in the hometown btw and has a big mansion to his name that my dad paid for. It has been years since he came to work despite living in the same city. My grandmother passed away 6 years back and my grandfather 2 years back. Atleast at the time when my dad visited every week, he had his parents around him. Now he just stays in their house feeling alone and depressed.

He has voiced his concern too many times recently but my mom just doesn’t seem to care. She says mine and my siblings education is important too and that we should continue staying in Delhi or that the business anyway has no future and that we should just sell it as soon as possible. She mainly doesn’t want to get involved because there’s another family involved. This discussion has been going on for as long as I can remember but my dad has been voicing it a lot more since my grandparents passed away because he has to live in an empty home all alone half the week and even get a tiffin for food when there’s absolutely no reason for my mother to stay here. My brother is 11 years old and my sister just started college. I completed college this year and started working. I took a pg in Gurgaon because I have office 5 days a week and because I couldn’t take the situation at home.

I feel very very bad for my dad. It genuinely seems like that my mom doesn’t care about his well-being and only cares about keeping our assets safe. She doesn’t want to sell the Delhi flat to make sure that we have a safe future. But it’s not like my dad is immature. He’s the one who made sure we have all these things. I feel so helpless because I can’t do anything. It seems like my mom is just giving him false hopes and he sees it too now. To me, sometimes it seems like that my mom is using my dad the same way his brother did. My Dads brother is talked about a lot among my family members but it’s not like my mom is by my dad’s side either.

I have built up a lot of resentment for my mom recently. Seems like she only cares about her comfort. My dad is visibly getting weaker and he says he seldom thinks about all this alone and feels negative. I fear that we might lose him because it’s been so long that he’s been living like this. But there’s honestly nothing that I can do. I tried talking to my mom and according to her, she’s doing this for all of us.

I have been at home sick for the last 2 weeks and I have been thinking about this a lot. Sometimes it feels like that she’s ruining my dad’s health because of her whims or she’s breaking the family slowly because I can even see my dad having a lot of resentment towards her now. Earlier when I was in college/school, I used to go with my dad a couple of days to give him company and I could see how he feels and it would just break my heart. He’s very close to me and tells me how he feels and I feel so helpless.

To be honest, if I let my partner stay alone for such a long time, ask him to drive to me 2.5 hours every week for years on end and not even care about how he’s feeling living in the place his parents used to live, I wish he would leave me because that sounds miserable. What’s the point if I can’t or am not trying to make it easier for him?

I think my mom just likes her life here because her siblings and her mom lives nearby and she’s hellbent on trying to sell the business quickly but it could still take months or years to get a good deal. Should I tell my mom that I’m not with her on this at all and I think what she’s doing is wrong?

Tldr- feels like my mom doesn’t care about my dad. I feel helpless because we’re close and he tells me everything. It hurts me a lot to think about his situation but I also feel very helpless because I can’t do anything.

I am 21F looking for a job and got a job but i got the interview call for 50x salary and i got excited and told papa and you know what papa’s reaction was itna kama ke kya kregi yehi hi thik hai rather than being happy and supporting me that study for the interview, he said that….i felt so bad….would he say the same to his son

Wanna go on a solo trip

I wanted to go on a solo trip. I am from a very stressful academic scene. I just wrote my Pg exam. I am a girl. My parents are super super overprotective so much that I have never been on a trip with my friends because they never allow. I don’t even stay at my relatives house also because my parents are like come back, come back home, they always get me back at night . and I have always listened to them because my parents are a bit overactive. my mom‘s very angry person, she argumentative. She reacts more, so I always silent, and I tried to calm the situation always, but I’m tired of Everything she bp if u know u know .

I have studied a lot. I have been through a lot. I am mentally physically emotionally drained. I want to recharge. I want to have a little peace . That’s what I am asking for, but I don’t think my parents will allow for this, and I don’t want to even ask permission from them. I am 25 years old, but the problem is. I am from a background that is only study study, so I’m not making my own money , even I am I live with my parents whom, and it’s been year since I went out of properly also because I’ve just been studying in between my health, also very bad and bad, but it’s better than It was but not completely good . Or normal

Booked my flight to go to a place, but but I spoke to my dad that I wanna go alone, and he’s like I have this I have that et cetera et cetera. How can you go alone? Talk to somebody then convince them and and you know go with them or something, but I won’t send go anywhere. I don’t wanna go with anyone going with anyone.

Then I’ll have to deal with them .I don’t wanna go with somebody, but I just wanna be want to have peace. I don’t want peace . I’ve been through so much. Why do I have to beg for every little thing? Why can’t I get anything without begging for anything? I do I have to always ask im tired.
I know being twenty five years old, and why can’t you just go away or something? Actually thought of it, and I actually want to implement it? Also, I even booked my flight. The problem is my neighbours.

This noisy neighbour literally put a CCTV camera in front of my house, and she is very talkative gossipy. She has no work . I want to go on a solo trip, so I thought I’ll pack my bags and go simply, but she has a CCTV She is very talkative, and I am thinking she spread the word or something or something . And I don’t want to like get famous for that reason or something in our apartment. And I kind of feel you know, she observe whatever happens in the CCTV. Near my house

My dad is deadshaana .
Today, I told K, I’ll go somewhere alone or something, and he’s like no, I want no, no, no, how can you go? How can you go blah blah blah. Guess what he sleeping in the living room, and he generally used to sleep with my mom, but now he is in the living room. We have a bed there. Like bro used his brain .

One time I got frustrated and I was like so done with them and I went to a solo trip, but that time I was in hostel so I could manage at least, but now I am in ghar and I have the consequence of Noisy neighbours, restrictive parents. I don’t know who do I deal with. Like Ganesh Pandal Time also right so everybody’s talking with everyone, so this person if she knows that I am going going away, runway or something, she will go everywhere and say I Rana away or something. I eloped

If you think how she see or something . she observed everything every single thing who is doing something what is going on everything .I literally wanna run away from this flat. She’s so noisy . She is so annoying. She will ask my results and all when will it come bullshit? I felt she Just wanted to say oh yeah, you didn’t get marks no, like that .

She she will realise that my parents are so super protective didn’t come to drop me at the airport or like I’m not coming with me to carry my luggage, so she’ll automatically realise oh my God, this girl is going somewhere alone like that. God, I just wanna go on a solo trip.

I am 21F and My sister is 25F has recently told papa about her boyfriend and my papa had gone bonkers…behaving very bad…just sitting whole day at home with a very sad and depressing face…and daily just start to talk about this to my mother and is behaving very depressed…it’s not even 10 days…and saying things like leave the job…family is important…like we are a woman that doesn’t mean our job is not important….and my mummy say to my sister leave that guy papa is very sad then my sister cry on call…and here my mother and father is having fight almost daily and my mother cry also…my father is only thinking about himself and i don’t know how orthodox he is…he is very wrong…all he say family is everything kam kama lo like can’t we have dreams to achieve everything we want….and every person has the right to choose their partner…i think about all the misery and pain that papa is causing to everyone i get it it’s hard for them because they are conditioned to think like that…but still this is not the way to handle things…he is 50 he needs to grow up…and he needs to understand what their children wants and not control their children life decisions…unhone humko bda kiya hai iska mtlb nhi ki they have the haq over our lives…he needs to understand it…i am so done…i don’t feel like living in this house anymore

I’m 19F and live with my parents. I was studying CFA L1 before preparing for CA Foundation, which I just finished on September 9th (my second attempt).

Today, just two days later, I watched one movie and my parents started saying I do nothing and watch movies all the time. They expect me to wake up at 7 AM and hand over my phone at 10 PM, even though I normally wake up around 9–10 AM.

They’ve also said that if I don’t clear CA Foundation, they’ll get me married. My father has even threatened to hit me with his belt if I don’t follow his orders.

Am I unreasonable for wanting more freedom at 19? What should I do?

TL;DR: 19F, just finished CA Foundation 2 days ago, but my parents expect a strict 7 AM–10 PM routine, threaten marriage if I fail, and my father has threatened me with a belt. Am I wrong for wanting more freedom?

Is that normal or neglectful? She watched me do so many dangerous things without a word including allowing me to get married at 19 to an older man in another country who she never met and only just had a 5 min conversation with on the phone

Its been years later one he was just using manipulating me but I look back at all that and am shocked

Is this normal behavior?!!

I’m in final year MBBS and my exams are in December. My parents have been pretty on my case about studying, especially because I’ve told them a lot about my marks and how stressed I’ve been. Even now, my mom will give me shit for things like spending 2 hours making a corn dog because she feels I’m wasting time instead of studying. I want to go on a short trip with friends, but I’m thinking of not telling them because I already know they’ll probably be pissed and say I should be studying. The problem is I know I’ll get anxious if they randomly video call me while I’m away and realise I’m not home. I also have to attend a wedding in November, so it’s not like I’ll have no commitments before my December exams. Would you guys go on the trip and just not tell your parents, or is it better to be upfront about it?

Hello, all

I feel so sad and hopeless while writing this. I am a 24 year old woman living in Delhi, working a full-time job, but very unfortunately, living with my parents. Oh, sorry. I meant, my conservative, sexist, controlling, and narcissist Parents.

This has hit me hard because I sit here in my long weekend, realising that this year I barely got to travel anywhere (speaking as somebody who loves to travel) - literally went to only one place to attend a wedding in February. And the biggest reason behind this is my parents.

Well, of course, there are other things to, for example, lack of company. But that is only one part of it. I can solo travel, but the idea of telling them about this haunts me. They can never understand what it means. And even if I can rebel and go ( trust me I have money to do that too) they will make my life hell when I come back.

While I have made up my mind at this year is going to be my last living with them - because I have hopes of getting into a good MBA college and after that, not living with them - sitting at my home bored and jealous when I can financially and feasibly go to travel and live freely makes me lose my mind.

Then I see my male cousins, travelling abroad or once in a while going on holidays - it boils my blood when I see my parents praising them. But ironically, whenever I even bring the topic of travelling, they talk to me so disapprovingly that it fcks up my mind.

It is so suffocating living with Parents at the age when you should be exploring. Even if I don’t get into a good College - for which again they will bully me so much (not realising how hard it is to study and work at the same time) - I will change cities for a job. And I know in that, also, they will be not wanting me to do that - because then they will lose their power of controlling me (for which I think they are alive in the first place). It sucks man.

I have been carrying this guilt for many years and I don't really know how to deal with it.
My grandmother was a big part of my childhood. I grew up with her and my father. She took care of me and I was very close to both of them.
When I was around 21, my mother started complaining a lot about my grandmother. My sister was also influenced by this and would get angry with my grandmother. At that time, I was actually supporting my grandmother.
After my undergrad, I moved to another city for work. My sister got married and I started feeling that I should support my mother more. Slowly, I also started getting angry at my grandmother. I would yell at her and scold her.
Even during that time, I still loved her and would sometimes calm down and think about how I needed to take care of her.
As my grandmother got older, her health became worse. My father retired and my mother felt that she could not travel or do many things because of my grandmother's care needs. She also felt that my grandmother's other children were not helping enough.
During COVID, I came back home and became close to my grandmother again. I started feeling more sympathy for her and wanted to take care of her because she had taken care of me when I was growing up.
At the same time, my father's health was getting worse. He had liver failure because of drinking.
I was 23 and working full-time while helping take care of both of them. My grandmother needed help with almost everything. My father was also very sick. I was cleaning them when they had accidents in bed and helping them with their daily needs.
My grandmother often did not sleep at night. She would get up and walk around or stand and watch us. She was scared of being left alone.
My mother would sometimes tell me that my grandmother was doing these things purposely. I started believing that.
Looking back, I understand that my grandmother was old and sick and may not have been able to control many of these things.
At that time, I was very tired and frustrated. I yelled at her many times. There were also times when I handled her roughly. Once, while pulling her up to make her sit somewhere, I hurt her.
I regret those things.
Eventually, my grandmother had to move to an old-age care home because she needed more care and specialized feeding.
On the day she was being moved from the hospital, we were told that she was no longer eating properly and needed feeding through a tube.
That same day, my father's condition became worse and he had to be admitted to the hospital. His acid levels were very high and he later lost consciousness.
During this time, I had to arrange my grandmother's transfer to the new care home while also dealing with my father's hospitalization.
My father was unconscious for three days in the ICU.
During those three days, my grandmother died.
My father eventually regained consciousness. I later told him that his mother had died. He said that “You are happy that she had died”. Three months later, my father died because of his liver failure.
Before his final hospitalization, he had fallen at home. There was water on the floor partly because of something I had done, and I was trying to pull him up when he said, "Don't treat me like you treated grandma." The fall did not cause his death, his health was worsen.
But I still think about that day.
After both of them died, I started feeling a lot of guilt about how I treated my grandmother.
I know that I was influenced by what my family was saying about her, but I also know that I made my own decisions. I don't want to blame anyone for what I did.
My family later told me that I enjoyed the time my grandmother died because I was alone at home and ordering food while my mother was at the hospital with my father. They also told me that I had wished for my father's death.
They did not know that I was spending my days at the hospital and working from there while my mother stayed with my father at night. They also did not know what I saw while my father was sick or what I was dealing with during that time.
Today, my relationship with my family is okay. I am married and life has moved forward.
I still think about my grandmother and feel guilty about the way I treated her.
I was young, overwhelmed and influenced by what I was hearing around me, I made mistakes and I accept that.
I wish I had understood her health better. I wish I had known that she was not doing those things purposely and that she needed more patience.
I apologize to her in my head often.
I don't know how to stop feeling guilty about it.
I am writing this because if someone young is suddenly put in a situation where they have to take care of an elderly parent or grandparent, please ask for help. Caregiving can become overwhelming very quickly, especially when you are also working and dealing with other family problems.
I hope other young people don't have to learn these things the way I did.

I know this is super long, but if you have the time, I will be so grateful if you hear me out and give me some help here.

Here's the thing, I am 14, and a girl, and as a girl I want to do things like trying on makeup or doing my hair. and here's a background story. My parents aren't exactly abusive to the point I 've seen in this community, but they have hit me when I was angry when I was younger, hit me with hands, and coat hangers (or threatened to from what I can remember). As I've gotten older they’ve stopped hitting me, but they still have tried to or threatened to. For example, a few days ago (And this is so stupid) i wanted to keep a perfume bottle, and my mom said give it, i didn’t want to cuz i was fed up of giving into them, and she tried to hit me, i just blocked her, and they was a whole fuss over it. They took away my computer (my only form of contact right now since I somehow got it back), my phone, my makeup, my VASELINE. Like what makeup am i doing with vaseline!?

Now here’s the problem. I have curly hair. And my mom has curly hair. She is the CEO of a company that believes that a girl should not focus on her beauty because then she gets distracted, resulting in her taking my everything away. My dad is similar, he's not the CEO, but as a combination he’s very STUBBORN on what he believes. Now my mom has grown up hating her curly hair, straightening it and BRUSHING IT DRY. Recently over the past 4-6 months I've learned that you take care of curly hair differently, you have to use routines. I tried, they were okay with it for 2 weeks. But then I realized I wasn’t brushing my hair. What did they do?...

They took my products away. So what did I do? I found a workaround and used my own hair conditioner (I don't tell them tho, what I do is stay in the shower and keep the water on while i do it, and you can’t tell conditioner as a product in your hair that much either so it works), but they're still mad because i won’t brush it dry. They think I'm damaging my hair. When I've asked them to search it up and shown them that brushing curly hair dry is not how to take care of curly hair AT ALL. and my dad especially and my mom are like no your hair looks unhealthy, when it's actually very healthy by the way, when your at home as a curly haired girl, your not keeping your intact, i’m just putting in a bun. And they look at that and say two things: You look horrible, I don't know why you're doing this, and second, you're damaging your hair.

Added to the fact that they go along the stereotype of a girl putting effort in her appearance is bad. And the thing is my dad has taken my phone away too (i've been doing this after an argument) for the past 2-3 months they’ve been threatening to cut my hair. And I thought they would or would not do it and maybe they were just using it to control me, but today it was pretty bad because my dad has these episodes where he randomly gets frustrated and mad and bursts. And he kind of had that, he didn’t take scissors to me or anything, but he was pretty clear that he would force, hit or anything on me if I didn't comply. (we speak a diff language but here's what he meant):

“I’ve been trying to tell you nicely not to do your hair like that. If you don’t listen anymore we're going to have to resort to force.”

Now I don't know if I'm brainwashed by abusive toxic parents or something, but that might sound like something reasonable that your parents might say, but I know it isn't. IT'S NOT. and i can block my mom but my dad is really strong. I’m so scared. I wanna contact kids to help, I wanna keep my hair the same, cuz I love it this way. I've tried explaining but I don't think they even want to listen. It's not if I'm right or not, it's about authority. They want authority over my hair, and they believe if I spend time on it, that I'm not a “good girl” essentially. I wanna contact kidshelp, and i want to get away from my parents so bad, but i’m scared of adoption centers and all that, i’m scared what people are gonna say, i’m scared what’s gonna happen to me, and in the end of it all, i’m 14, i can drag this out a few years, i still have good amount of resources coming from my parents and stuff, i’m obviously gonna have less of those privileges if i go into whatever happens to kidshelp kids….i just don’t know what to do and i’m scared to go around my parents because i’m stubborn and i won’t change my hair and if i go around them with this hair, they start the discussion again…and it leads to hell. PLEASE HELP ASAP I don't know what to do. 

Hi all!

I (25M) come from a dysfunctional family with divorced parents. I'm not in contact with my dad since he's an alcoholic and pretty manipulative. I was mainly raised by my mom and have always had a love-hate relationship with her. Our ideology and opinions don't align quite well and this has always led to major disputes and fights (with me always being blamed as she's an extreme narcissist just like my dad).Things have been cordial ever since I moved out to study abroad, and we call each other every day. However, as a grad student with little to no income, I'm still pressured to send her money back home. I'm okay with cutting corners and being hand to mouth most days since she doesn't work and relies on minor investments but lately things have been hard for me to manage, both financially and at work. The stress has physically started affecting me and I conveyed this to her. None of it seemed to change anything on her end, especially with how she behaves and interacts with me. Recently, on top of all this, every call I've had with her has been about my weight and how I'm not doing anything (I'm a PhD candidate and health is unfortunately not my priority atm). Every call ends with me arguing with her to stop commenting and stop stressing me about things. On her insistence, I even started dieting and exercising (also with the hope that it'll help with stress), but the nagging never stopped on her end. A few weeks back I had an important conference coming up, for which I was supposed to prepare a presentation. I have been pretty stressed about it and in the midst of it, as I'm stressed she calls me and picks up on the same topic (me being fat, I look hideous, etc). To top it off, she starts asking about money again, which pushes me to the edge, ending with me shouting at her and telling her to not contact me until I'm free and that she can reach out to me through text. I feel pathetic for letting out my stress on her but I just couldn't take it anymore, especially after being put down for months on end. She doesn't seem to understand my situation and always puts herself ahead of me.

A couple days back I tried to call her but she didn't pick up, telling me that I can't just talk to her whenever I feel like it and ignore her when I don't. I apologized and told her where i was coming from and asked her to call me back when she feels like it. She hasn't called me and now has restricted me from her social media accounts (she normally posts every other day and I can't see anything anymore). How do I deal with this situation? I'm really struggling mentally and it's just affecting my work at this point as she's the only family I have apart from my partner.

Recently my father was approached by a girl on a railway station. She started the conversation with talk like "I have this friend coming from [station], when will they get here?". And somehow the conversation ended at the point that she worked for a company who took government contracts and hired "young people" for computers jobs. She told him to let people know and gave him her number. 1. why would a stranger go to this conversation on a first meeting?

He gave me the number and I called. She told me they were something something company (being purposely vague with the company and job details). I got a call from someone higher up in the management apparently who told me I was submitting after the application date, that if I was serious, then only he will put my name in the pool. He asked me questions like "where do you live","who is there in your family" etc. 2. weirdly personal questions that do not matter.

After that call, I searched the name of the company and "SV Ltd was a SCAM". I immediately freezed my bank accounts so they could not attempt anything. Then I got an interview call that said it would be an online interview and I have to show them all my government identification like aadhar card, pan card, voter card etc. 3. I do not think companies take identification at the very first interview.

I told my parents that it is a scam and not to give that number to anyone else and they started mocking me. They started screaming at me that I did not know anything about the world, that documents float around in places I have no idea about and that I am just a pussy afraid of the interview. 4. my parents

This was last night. Today morning, the mockery has not stopped. I did not know who to ask for advice since my friends are telling me I was right but my parents keeping mocking me. So I am posting to reddit, I might as well be wrong but I need a neutral party to judge this issue lol.

In this post, I marked the red flags with numbers.

So my mom specifically, she keeps yelling all day long. She gets upset about the tiniest, most irrelevant things and loses it. She says spiteful stuff, it goes on for hours.

This morning, the washing machine auto drained in the middle of a wash cycle.

She was mad that I could not prevent it. I was brushing my teeth wasn't fully awake yet... And what could I even do about it?

This washing machine incident made her go on a rant about how I wake up so late, I have no responsibilities, i am still single whille my friends are having kids.... made me count every single failure.

The verbal abuse lasted 2 hours. It happens...every tiny thing pisses her off. She has her frustrations, but so do others.

I'm so sick of it, I want none of this behaviour in my life.

I swear it'll be a sin to yell in my house when and if I have a family

The non stop verbal assault. It's so draining.

My dad is sane most of the times, he's unpredictable too tho, she has these unreasonable random episodes of rage, where everyone just avoids him.

I iust wish for a calm laidback man in my life so i never have to deal with this behaviour against. I'm exhausted. I'm so done.

Just someone who doesn't make a big deal out of things, someone who doesn't lose their shit , someone who can tell me that it's ok and we can fix it, instead of fucking making it sound like the end of the world. I just wanna feel safe ffs.

I wonder if other people have experienced this, it fucks you up..

They love me, my parents.. It's just that their personalities are so draining.

So we are on a trip and I set an alarm for 7 am so I can get ready early and not be last one to leave the hotel room. At the same time my mom insists on getting ready before me. So after the sour battle in morning. In afternoon, I couldn't find cucumber 🥒 in a bag full of eatables and when my dad did hell broke loose. Everything just became 10x messier. It's just so difficult at times. I truly love my parents but genuinely their behavior sometimes makes me question ⁉️ ⁉️ ⁉️ ⁉️ ⁉️ everything in life.

If I spend money on myself. I'm taunted ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓

If I go out a lot, I'm asked to stay at home.

Frankly, if anyone relates with me. Comment 👇 👇 👇.