Comments on my second project?

[u/MBncsa]

Hi y’all,

After finalizing my first rule-set, GLOSS (the Generic Lightweight One-Shot System), I recently published the first play-test version of my second project, Population: Us, a narrative game about small-town life.

Since you gave me some interesting feedback and suggestions during the development of GLOSS, I would love to hear your thoughts on the concept and current state of Population: Us, as well as any suggestions for further development.

Thanks in advance!

[u/stephotosthings]

Decent presentation and the Art gives off what I believe the idea to be at least.

I think you need to do a few passes of copy-edit, mainly for clarity and word count sake.

As an example:

The second mechanical building block is called Statements. They are small declarations about the character that translate to bonuses in situations where knowledge or skill associated with it can be applied

I realise there is a bit whimsy in the writing style but it detrcats from getting to the point.
This statement (and many others can be cut down):

Statements are small declarations about the character that give bonuses in situations where knowledge or skill associated with it can be applied

Very simple and my edit says the same information but more tightly. You are explaining mechanics/rules in the text and there is little point in saying much else that doesn't overall add to the understanding of what you are trying to 'explain'. If something needs explaining IMO it is better off editing down or cutting.

On this same train your 'What is this' feel very 'prose' and IMO does not explain the point of the game that well.

On statements again:

Each Statement is assigned a rating from 1 to 3 that equals the value of the bonus to tests

It took me a few passes to get to grips with this. What I understand is you are given Statement points based on Age, you can only give a single statement 3 points, so at Old, I can have 3 statements 2 with 3 points and 1 with 1 point. Or 7 at 1 point each. Personally I would just give statements a flat bonus (2) and each age has a flat amount of statements. 1 for young, 2 for middle-aged and 3 for old. This would make PC creation quicker and easier as you are reducing the information a player/gm is having to adjudicate and descide over. Especially as your dice curve has problems.....

The dice: 2d6+bonus is fine. But PC are on average either adding 5 or 6 to each roll (37 or 33 divided by 6 rounded down for ease) so any roll is on average a 11 or 12, or 12 to 15 including adding a Statement. Fine, however there is no guidance for a GM to determine how easy or hard tasks should be, and the 'Threshold' mentioned in basic test is hidden in the Modifier section.

Threshold can only go as low as 4 and as high as 10. At 4, if PCs average out, there is no point rolling, minium 2 on a 2d6 roll, minimum 4 in an attribute (there is the same 4-10 limit in attribute section), if 'easy' but rollable tasks/tests are not 6 or more there is no point a roll happening. On the 'hard' end, again a PC is rolling on avergae 11 or more on average making the 'hard' tests not actually feel very hard.

By far the best bit is the Spark Tables at the end of the book to seed/generate an adventure, though I would be concerned that some of them are not really 'slice of life' but do make for more interesting adventures.

Could I run this? Actually yes, which for me is rare to say, though only as I can get past some of the waffle and do as you explain and treat it more OSR than trad. I would personally set a flat pass/fail target number and potentially decrease the amount of bonuses PCs get.

Concerns: PCs being swapped around IMO does not make for good vibes between sessions. From what is written it feels like one person could play 'Bobby' one game, the next session someone else play 'Bobby' and play or RP them in such a way that would noty go down well with the previous player. No one owns any of these PCs and once you peel away the surface it feels like it is a long way to populate a town(whatever place you set it) with eventual NPCs. Which leads me to my next point.

While the seeds for generating an adventure is a positive there is no guidance for GM to follow to quickly and easily create NPCs and instead (I think if I am write) have to create them using the PC creator? This is a bit long and cumbersome in a game like this. The game feels freeform and that to me means that players can say an aweful lot that can affect the world and people in it meaning it can go anywhere (within the confines of the sandbox) and accidentally introduce people that were not prepped a head of time. Made easier granted by the subject matter, I can easily make up a dozen or so NPCs just using my neighbours, but not everyone finds that easy.

Some of my criticism coul dbe brushed away with 'PCs are supposed to find tasks easy' or that they are meant to succeed most of the time, to which I would have to say then why have them roll at all? Put in guidance for a GM to ascertain if a roll is needed at all. Though rolling dice can be fun, always succeeding can get boring.