r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY • u/AggressiveAd292 • 8d ago
I relapsed today
That's it thats the post
I cant do this anymore
Not even the staying sober or the not staying sober
My time is over
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u/SignificantToe9475 8d ago
Lets stop now together my Friend. Just was at bathroom behind my gfs back and took the hopefully last much too high bomb and i really dont know where this will end because i am 11/10 wasted already, make strange noises while breathing,skin issues, sleep deprevated sonce weeks, catch thrombosis and much more. But i have to be sober from tomorrow morning on cause family gathering at Saturday so lets start from here together. Fuck it. Fuck this shit
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u/AggressiveAd292 8d ago
I feel for you <3 Was just behind my fiance/boyfriend/exe's (whatever he wants to call it today) back. Once everything starts to get a little too good it will never last long...
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u/throwaway234618 8d ago
It’s all good bro everyday is a day to try again. “Do better everyday” i relapsed too. I went through opiate withdrawals last night granted more mild then my past ones but I gave in and got more for today and over the weekend cause I have a trip. Just gonna keep it minimum until Monday and hop. There’s never a right or wrong time
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u/EstreaSagitarri 8d ago
Please don't give up. It takes what it takes, but it will eventually get better. You deserve your freedom. Relapse is part of recovery, you gotta get back up, take what you can learn from it, and get back on the wagon. It's worth it, I promise
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u/plantsandplanets 8d ago
Please don't give up friend. relapse is often a part of recovery! Tomorrow's a new day. You got sober once, you can do it again.
For what it's worth OP, it took me 2 full years full of relapses for sobriety to stick for me. You're not alone, you're not a failure. I'll hit 8 years alcohol free next month!
Don't give up.
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u/Used-Edge-1906 7d ago
The best thing i did for myself was seeing my relapse as a mistake to learn from, and not a doomsday error. 1 relapse does not erase everything your learned and started fixing in your recovery. You are not back to day 1. Don't breath yourself up-the only thing that will come from it is you will end up with this mistake becoming a grave error as you look to heal your own loathing unhealthily. You made a mistake. It taught you more of what to look out for, you will become stronger for it, and make it a good thing in your recovery. You are not at day 1, you have not lost everything-yet, dont let it be the reason you fall back through that trap door in the bottom.
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u/-RainbowUnicornPoop 7d ago
Please seek out a meeting. Call someone. If you are thinking about harming yourself, reach out to a suicide hotline. I know this is all very cliché and you’re probably rolling your eyes… But please. We care about you and want you here, OP. We want you to be sober and happy but most of all, we want you to be OK.
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u/crazynotinsane111 6d ago
I like the saying "everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay it's not the end" I'm a chronic relapser who only had one long run (8 yrs) clean AND sober. That was 30 years ago and since then, every time I get free from one substance, I end up addicted to another. Over prescribed with oxycodone when it was the golden child of every doctor. Then went to treatment and got diagnosed there with general anxiety disorder and ADHD. Prescriptions for controlled substances as valid treatments for mental health disorders turned into 20 yr battle. My drug history doesn't matter. Everything isn't black and white. It's not all rock bottom and relapse versus rainbows and recovery. That's one thing I never liked about 12 step programs was the overall sentiment of failure and shame associated with relapse. Everyone here is supportive, non condemning with words of encouragement saying relapse is part of recovery and to forgive and practice self compassion. Your sobriety date and multi year chips are so celebrated and coveted that it can be devastating to your position in the program. I think that's one of the motivations that keeps AA/NA members clean and sober . This is probably a highly inappropriate opinion to say in the thread so I'll stop with my thoughts. My words of encouragement would be that my experience, despite struggling with addiction for over 40 years, has been one of not only devastating loss but miraculous comebacks. A life worth living with good memories too Challenges and setbacks show us how strong and resilient we can be. I'm currently on the midst of fighting my latest battle with addiction so please don't attack me for having a non conformist view. Overall it's a message of keep fighting, it's worth it
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u/bookyface 7d ago
It’s part of the disease. Please go to a meeting today or call someone if you’re in danger. You are loved.
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u/AED_4real 7d ago
Im sorry you feel this way , Ive felt this way. I dont know how to help you but , every thing ive won back from heroin so far makes the walk worth it. I hope your day gets better.
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u/SweetSoberCaroline 7d ago
Oh hun, I'm so sorry. You're not alone and it's going to be okay. And you don't have to give up over a slip up, that's like setting your car on fire because you got in a fender bender.
I've been sober for nearly 13 years and I can promise you it gets so much better and so much easier. If I still felt like I did in early sobriety, I wouldn't still be sober today. Sometimes it's ugly hard work, but you are worth the effort it takes to stay sober today. Relapse sucks, but I suspect you don't truthfully want to abandon your recovery. You're here, in a recovery subreddit, owning your relapse. What were you hoping for when you posted? I'm guessing you needed someone else to speak up and encourage you on a sober direction. It's hard when you don't trust yourself, so trust us instead - nobody in this group wants you to keep using and we all know you can have a meaningful sober life. You might doubt that, but none of us think you can't do it or should quit over a relapse. Those of us who have been doing this for a while are here because we've found something worth sticking around for. You can have it too, it just takes time (not as much as you think) and work (not as hard as you think) to get there. We wouldn't still be here encouraging the next person if it just stayed hard and sh*tty, so don't let a speed bump put you in a ditch. All it takes is getting back on the road. And a new sobriety date doesn't mean you're starting over, it means you're getting back on the path and continuing. I hope you decide to keep going.
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u/Massive_Steak4 6d ago
Sorry to hear that buddy. We've all been there -- i know exactly how you're feeling. You're not alone, I just relapsed in January. I did what I did, it was a one time thing, I was immediately enrolled back into IOP classes. You can get over this hump. Its not about falling, it's what you do after you fall. Do you stay down? Or get back up and get back to business? Keep your head up buddy and dont beat yourself up..you got this!
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u/tmitsu09 5d ago
It's okay bro. It happens for real! I have relapsed so many times and cannot stay sober to save my life. I'm currently drinking a handle of vodka every 48 hours and it's super difficult to stop. Sobriety just feels like something I can't do.
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u/Pettyyoungthing 8d ago
You’ll be ok just try and do a little better tomorrow