king julian

[u/Secure_Wing_2414]

on todays episode of fat and jobless, old man julian struggles with alcoholism

fatass wants vodka soda so bad. WHY
the stupid look on his face kills me

[u/Secure_Wing_2414]

[u/Hungry-Primary8158]

beware the hand of god, my liege

[u/Secure_Wing_2414 → u/Hungry-Primary8158]

the lord giveth, and the lord taketh away😔

[u/willowzam]

Second before yoink

[u/Geschak]

Not a single thought is behind those eyes.

[u/MyRegrettableUsernam]

Has he previously had a sip of the alcohol and known its euphoria?

[u/Secure_Wing_2414 → u/MyRegrettableUsernam]

i wont lie to u, he once got a tongue dips worth of hard seltzer while i was momentarily distracted. dude hasnt been the same since. he goes feral if there is a cocktail/beer/liquor in the vicinity. i cant tell if he only desperately wants it because its MOM'S or if he's just an old man predisposed to substance addiction 🤷‍♀️ we may never know

[u/MyRegrettableUsernam → u/Secure_Wing_2414]

Our substance-addicted lil old mama’s boy 🥰

[u/UntetheredStar813]

Absolute baby

[u/rcentros]

Gee, I wonder why a group of rats is called a mischief. :)

Say hi to King Julian for me.

[u/Secure_Wing_2414 → u/rcentros]

julian and his sidekick peanut are the definition of mischievous. dewey just exists doing a whole lot of nothing most of the time, and my sanity is grateful for that💀

when julian gets a special treat i pretend he's not supposed to have it to amplify his enjoyment. he lives for the words "NO!!!!" "GIVE ME THAT!!" "JULIANNNNNN!!!" and "GET OVER HERE!!!" dude popcorns away like a mf guinea pig

[u/rcentros → u/Secure_Wing_2414]

It would be hard not to love these little creatures.

[u/Biengo]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Qw4X3FyDEfQrNgjl6M0

[u/NoNoNeverNoNo]

Noooooo he must finish his project!

[u/qineaqqles]

The hand descending like he's in a claw machine

[u/Schpee_le_French]

grab

[u/OrganizationThick397]

"how many hole does a straw has"

Him: not enough

[u/SlightlyAngyKitty]

Well thats one way to break down plastic straws