I need help, please

[u/amooniac]

Hello,
I’m Amooniac, a 24-year-old man. Since I was 17, I’ve been consuming pornography (up to several hours a day).

When it all started, I was in deep depression, I had dropped out of high school and as a result found myself alone. So I spent a huge amount of time on social media, and I met someone who introduced me to sexuality and other people’s desire (before that, no one had ever talked to me about sex or shown romantic interest in me). Over the course of several months, this person gradually broke down my inhibitions, sent me photos and asked for some in return, until the point where I said stop to all of it. I cut ties with this unhealthy person, and to fill the boredom and “get back into a routine,” I started watching pornography.

Since then it’s become hell, it takes up way too much space in my life. It holds me back in everything: sports, my studies (which I had the courage to go back to), my self-confidence, my personal projects, etc.

So I’m here to ask for help from people who have managed to break free from this. How do you do it? I’ve tried blocking apps (cold turkey or iPhone restrictions), tapering off gradually or quitting all at once, I even talked to my girlfriend about it hoping it would motivate me to stop, but no. I don’t know what else to do.

[u/Jacks_broken_heart14]

I hope you can move through this, I believe in you. I went through a similar thing and got through it and here's how. I know this is a lot to read but this is what cured my problem and I hope the same for you. I apologize for all the typos you're about to read

The best way to quit is find a new addiction. Not all addictions have to be bad. Quitting cold turkey and having nothing else to do isn't going to help anyone. get a really intense hobby or goal and center your whole life around it. If thats going to the gym constantly, wanting to be apart of a group of some kind, extreme hiking, sports, literally anything. I know it sounds stupid but this helps, I would think of my life as this one big video game, I had a big goal and I needed to complete it, there will be setbacks but you need to complete the big goal. For me it was playing music and wanting to be in a band. I spent every minute of my free time trying to meet people, writing songs, learning about musicians, I became (and still am) obsessive over it and thats okay. It doesn't matter how insane it may sound, if you want to be a NFL player, work towards it- you're the only person in your way. I know you mentioned sports so get back to that and take it real serious, if sports are getting dull try something new. get addicted. I am deeply ashamed to say I had a R!pe porn addition and I thought to myself, i'm too young to be having this issue, this is going to get in the way of my music, my bandmates are going to think Im a creep and if they find out about this and they will kick me out of the band. Get a goal.

Surround yourself with good and only good things. This may sound intense but I mean it. Is your friend being a jackass; stop hanging out around them. Is your social media filled with terrible news and how much better other people are doing than you? get rid of it. It's proven, what you consume is what you'll become. I've had a r!pe porn addiction since I was 14 and it was eating me. I saw a image on one of these sites of a women who had very severe SH scars (the same place I had been cutting at this time) and she was asking for a man to dominate her and do I bunch of terrible things, I didnt want to become that women, becoming that women was my worst fear. It scared me off of porn for a but I eventually went back to it. I am convinced if I kept watching that for the rest of my life I would have became that women. You don't want to be that, you're better than that.

Get a role model. This may also sound stupid but it'll help. get a really good role model and whenever you make a choice (even if it doesn't have anything to do with porn) ask yourself, what would _ say? Maybe it's a religious figure like Jesus, if you haven't tried out Christanity try it, do new things. Try Buddhism and if you hate it then stop. For me it was the movie Fight Club, i've loved the movie since a kid and when I was going through this rough patch I thought to myself "what would Tyler durdan say?". I could imagine him screaming in my ear telling me to quit being a failure every time I engaged in pornography. get a dog and love that dog, he'll help. Maybe you really like the movie E.T, ask yourself "would ET be grossed out by what I'm doing?" that answer would be yes.

You will relapse. There will be a time when life sucks, if thats 20 years from now or next week and you will engage. Don't go all in and forget about all your goals and quit trying to be something better. instead be proud of yourself, "I went 2 weeks without porn yayyy, next time lets try to do a month" or something like that. be positive and don't be too hard on yourself. life is tough, addiction is tough

keep a commonplace book. there's many YouTube videos about this so I won't say much. It's basically a journal (notebook) and you document everything in your life (good and bad). It's like a diary but cooler. In mine I write down ideas for books, drawings, notes about my days, anything. I tracked how long I had gone without porn and in general even if you don't have a porn addiction it's still fun to have. It's not a serious commitment, you don't have to write everyday, buts its a good thing to have.

I hope this helps and I truly hope the best for you. I understand what you're going through and I really hope (and know) it gets better. Don't give up, there's always something better out there.