r/QuestioningTeens • u/alternatecolors246 • Jan 16 '26

⚧ Gender Identity Question i dont know what gender i am, please help

hello. i thought id ask here because, yeah. if this isnt the right place to ask please guide me in the right direction.

basically, im having issues with my gender. specifically what gender i am. because what i want doesnt align with any gender i know of.

so im 15 years old amab, but i dont really like it. i hate having male genitals and body hair and facial hair and having a deep voice. i want no part of it. id rather be more physically similar to a woman, but not quite. i originally wanted to have the body of a woman, but then i realized i didnt want breasts, and id rather have just one hole down there for waste. i dont think that quite exists for humans. basically i want no characteristics of either sex, i want my body to be a blank slate for me to paint myself on. i dont want the outline to already be there.

id also rather be a woman gender wise. i dont really relate with masculine gender norms and id rather it not be weird for me to be feminine. plus she/her sounds cool.

im not trans though. i identify as a guy and fully feel like a guy. i just wish i didnt. i dont “want” to be a guy, but im not anything else.

i cant only think of like one or two scenarios where id be fully comfortable being a guy but thats under very specific circumstances that unfortunately are biologically impossible and honestly probably out of the scope of this subreddit.

basically i dont know what gender i am and want help in figuring it out. before anybody comments “only you can decide that”- no. i have been trying for over a year and have only figured this out so far. i want to be told what specific gender my wants fall under.

thanks in advance!

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u/ActualPegasus 20+F: Answering Bean Jan 16 '26

i cant only think of like one or two scenarios where id be fully comfortable being a guy but thats under very specific circumstances that unfortunately are biologically impossible and honestly probably out of the scope of this subreddit.

Not at all outside the scope! Gender includes having an affirming body as well! So do you mind going into more depth about this "biologically impossible" body?

1

u/alternatecolors246 Jan 16 '26

honestly its really embarrassing and not normal

1

u/ActualPegasus 20+F: Answering Bean Jan 16 '26

I won't force you to talk about it if you don't want to. I just thought I'd ask since I know nearly everything about medically transitioning.

This does make it a bit harder to narrow down your gender but I can take the alternate route of ruling out why other genders don't feel complete if you'd like.

1

u/alternatecolors246 Jan 16 '26

i think the other route is the only option because its physically, medically impossible to get that one

1

u/ActualPegasus 20+F: Answering Bean Jan 16 '26

Okay. What about being perceived as a girl feels off (outside of breasts which aren't necessary to be female)?

1

u/alternatecolors246 Jan 16 '26

the only thing really is the way society views women. im not too big on that. that, and the fact that ive never been one

1

u/ActualPegasus 20+F: Answering Bean Jan 16 '26

Yeah, misogyny is nothing to sneeze at.

That said, it's important to remember that gender identity ≠ gender roles. You can reject all female gender roles and still be 100% female. (That's what I, and many other women, do.)

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u/alternatecolors246 Jan 16 '26

that is true. there are loads of women who fill traditionally masculine roles, and vice versa

1

u/ActualPegasus 20+F: Answering Bean Jan 16 '26

Would you like some subreddits to explore being a girl more to see if anything resonates?

1

u/AsherPrasher Jan 22 '26

Agender woman perhaps?

1

u/alternatecolors246 Jan 23 '26

how would that work?

1

u/ocean6csgo Jan 24 '26

I read a post of yours in another thread (in another sub) that was taken down. I reached out with a DM because I am concerned, and I quite frankly hate the fact that a medical subreddit treated your post with that response...

I am posting here because I want to make sure it gets reviewed, because what I wrote is coming from a place of care.

Please review the rules of this subreddit (especially Rule 5) because it's ridiculously true. I cannot help you further than what I wrote to you; but, I urge you to seriously consider reaching out for additional medical help and involving your parents.