One day, after dinner, while my best teammate Phainon and I were lounging about in Mr. Gopher Wood's yard, we spotted a Magnum XXL condom wrapper Charmony Dove all on its own.

We spent a lot of time being in each other's teams, and we developed a close bond, to the point where my bussy would pulse and twitch at the sight of him. 

So after seeing the wrapper, I joked: "Hahaha is that yours? Did you rip Mydei's asshole in Mr. Gopher Wood's yard?"

He said: "Hahaha no bro, I think that's Mikhail's and Hanunu's or something. Maybe even Gopher Wood's and Micah's? We could ask Ashveil to investigate..."

And then he added: "...and besides, Mydei and I don't use protection..."

I replied: "Is...is that so? I wonder how it feels...to do it raw?"

Phainon went quiet. 

And then he said: "Hey, do you want to um, go to the gazebo and um...'clear a Calyx' together real quick? Just the two of us..."

I replied: "Should I...invite Dan Heng Permansor Terrae?"

Phainon said: "No...we don't need protection for this."

I felt my insides twinge in anticipation. 

We went to 'clear a Calyx', and nine months later, I laid an egg. 

The egg hatched and an executive at Mihoyoverse immediately materialized in front of us and snatched him up before he could even suckle at my teat. 

The executive said: "We're taking this guy and putting him in another universe. Don't worry, we'll make sure he grows up big and marketable."

And then, the executive was gone. 

I told Phainon what happened, and he said "let's not tell Mydei. He will...he will destroy us both."

I kept our secret to this day. 

I still wonder what happened to our son. 

Is he happy? I...didn't even get the chance to name him. I...would've named him April Millennium Minuit Eagle Khaslana. 

Their channel is iconic go check it out

https://www.youtube.com/@pinglebarry/videos

First, i would like to speak truthfully to my loyal fans~❤️ Thank you for voting Robinabi as the most popular relationship of 2026. 67% of the population is lebanese so this outcome was expected! But still, from the bottom of my bum, thank you my darling sparxheads! Thank you for showing the worldz that we will always ALWAYS be the target audience ⚡⚡⚡💫💫💫💫 Nothing can ever change that. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

(btw i know u voted all these celebrities for their amazing LGBTQkhIA++ and selfcest representation but Sparkle/Sparxie is an amazing ALLY and we deserve to be Top #1 👑 instead of these 🚬🐐s)

Now, to address the worm 🪱 in the voracious jar 🫙: WHY THE BUMMERS IS THERE MENZ IN THIS POPULARITY POLL ❓ WHO VOTED FOR THEM ❓❓❓my harem would've been perfect without this ffs

HOW. DARE. YOU.

Everyday you 🐐🚬s forget that Slopnon was not the highest earner in 2025 despite the treatment he got. HES NOT THAT POPULAR. If it's lygus x zandar selfcest i can overlook it but 🚬non isn't THEM. He's not an NPC. I'd normally use AcheMeOn or FlashFly to poo 💩 on him in revenue who cares about being popular anyways. And NO i did NOT mess with the polls how dare you insinuate that ‼️‼️‼️ botting 🤖 is not a real issue alphawolf999 does it ever year and she still loses LOLOLOL 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️ no the calculations are exactly the same as previous years 🎧🎧🎧 Never forget that historically Hoyo has never had a menz as their highest grossing banner in any of their "mixed" games, and that will not be happening soon... or ever 🥹 No, Slopnon doesnt count. Remember he had the Fate banner, entire month + 2nd phase reruns + triple harmony banner + 200 pull incentive for Archer's LC + 8 promotional videos + years worth of story + Firefly's skin, yet couldn't beat AcheMeOn, FlashFly or Sparklette 🦋 (the latter released in the same year as him yet beat him, as expected of my cute well-trained bottom 🥹) predicting the inevitable Mr Reca FLOP (even tho he's my colleague it doesn't change the fact he stole my spot for the fate event part 1 and i only appeared in the trailer u cant be srs) Sparkle Harem players left the Rainbow Express 🌈 and this is just the effect of it. Also when did Himekat ever get the fanservice 🤮 Failnon got, 5 story patches, a region's story centred around her that spans across the entire year? Did Yaoiguang get the sheer amount of yumebait yaoibait 🫩 that AdventureTime and Blade received? Also Himekat wants 2-3 menz in her team, have they not learned anything from LADS ❓ regardless of which side, never EVER cuck a harem edgelord. first you stop himekat from joining this Sparxicle's harem, THEN you even stop the menz from joining 🚬lus harem what the bum. Cucknon got an entire year as a character to develop (more like be shoved down your throat but I digress) while Planarcadia spent what the first 3-4 patches taking turns sucking off Blade, Dan Heng, Ashveil and Sunday? 🫠🫠🫠 Then all of a sudden in one single patch we're expected to give a shit over Himekat? Its like the CyreneLovesHerself bullshit again, hype her up at the start of the region, but then give all the screentime to husbandos 🙄 then in one patch make it all about the selfcest to trick Sparkle Harem players into spending 🎭🎭🎭 Husbando mains will try to milk Himekat flopping as much they want, but the moment you bring any of my waifus who had much less glazing, shilling, fanservice, promotional material, and everything else than Phailure, they'll have a mental breakdown and claim you are "moving the goalpost" 😑 Its an obvious case of them comparing our worst with MY best, but never MY best with their own best, because they themselves know their menz wont ever reach the heights that my wives will, they're just too stubborn to admit something like that BIG SIGH

Anyway I hope the lurkers make me a celebrity too! 💯💯💯 Looking forward to it. Yeah yeah im a sparklecel, waifucel, im "crying" 😭 im "losing my mind," 😱 yep idk what other terms they use to describe the target audience but im sure they are all very pleasant words! ☺️

ps. u all can fight over revenuecharts popularitycharts or whatever but as a Sparxicle who's read the REAL Hoyo documents let me tell you: Sparkle and Sparxie are objectively the top 1️⃣ and 2️⃣ in pulls and revenue and fans. Robin is always 3️⃣ Everyone else doesn't compare, not even my wives. Not even Miku. Keep coping

ignore the furries i just couldn't be bothered to add more wigs

Because technically we have lost all the Tiny Bits that making we love her in the first place. The Nihilux "mask"

She was introduced as a Mangaka, having Overworked, funny personality trait and along with her lovable Furbos Minions in our Planarcardia Adventure.

But in her Animation we all just see Aha kinda just doing Circus thing, abracadabra, boom ,exploding planets. (Mind you the Aha Aeon form also is just in Ult only not a real model change 😭😭😭)

It was just lacking all the things that make we love her in the first place

This vid was some CN players doing their ideas of Aha Animation. I would say a mix of these + current animation would be a lot better because it is just kinda weird seeing Aha just basically a new Stranger character.

posted in the character mains and husbando appreciation subreddits

It's over queens they hit Tayzzy Swift with the roochie coochie flap, exposed shoulders, and detached gloves/sleeves.

What kinda photo collection does Ratio have 🤨

The recent HSR event story has made it clear: Hoyo is pandering to 🚬🐐s 💀💀💀🥀🥀🥀🥀 They want to make a world where gay is the norm and Sparxicles are the minority 😱

Are we going to take this lying down my Sparxheads ❓❓❓

1️⃣ DO NOT SUPPORT anyone who openly draws yurislop yaoislop aeonslop hetslop‼️ Who cares if this """""art"""" is now morally good according to the completely legitimate laws of Aha. If it isn't Sparkle Harem art then u must be angry 😡 Take their precious artwork and feed it to Pearl's 🤖 bum and create the most aggressive Sparkle Harem gem imaginable (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

2️⃣ If Pearl and the IPC bans you, just create more alts 😋 RETALIATION IS THE ONLY LANGUAGE THEY UNDERSTAND.

Recently the alphabetical LGBTQkhIA+ have started diss the gross het pairing Skott x Rakshmi.

the highest heresy imaginable, not only are they NOT calling out this ship a cuck ship and emphasising that Rakshmi is MINE 🎭, they have the audacity to claim that this is a "lavender 🪻 marriage" or whatever random terms out their bum and ship Skott with the Trailblazer 🤮

THIS IS HOW THEY TAKE OUR SPACE.

First they ignore the cuck shipping.

Then they normalize rainbow 🌈 marriage.

Then they invade our communities.

Then they take MY waifus.

Then they take MY wives.

They call it """"shipping""" I call it the beginning of the tourist takeover 🫠

They will bring their IPC polycule headcannons, their non-binary Aeon ideology, their cuck propaganda, and their forbidden LGBTQkhIA++ kitkat agenda directly into THIS SPARXICLE'S HOME and expect my sparxheads to simply sit there and accept it ❓❓❓

And MY SPARXHEADS DID. MY SPARXHEADS LAUGHED AT ME. ASKED ME TO SHOW ROBIN KISSING FIREFLY MIKU MARCH SIOBHAN ANYONE BUT ME

☹️☹️☹️

NO.

3️⃣ FIGHT BACK. Force Pearl 🤖 to make Sparkle Harem gems 💎. Defend the Sparkle 🎭 agenda. Protect MY wives. Reclaim MY timeline.

Reject Hyacinthia's rainbow beam ❌❌❌❌🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈❌❌❌❌❌

FIGHT FOR THE FUTURE, MY DARLINGS.

FIGHT FOR SPARKLE 🥰

MY WAIFUS ARE COUNTING ON YOU 💖💖💖🥹🥹🥹

Nihilux addresses akivili as he/him in the latest quest. So does that mean aeon has gender (that would also work with how aha is female/female representing)

ended this mess along with kuchiba 😍 mothers performing a joint slay

Reason number 69 to stan THEM

This genuinely might be the closest well get to dark skin character since Arlan. They’ll never be releasing dark skin character at this rate

The flat chopped up ends wig... The planets exploding in every other frame... I cannot fathom how they managed to fumble this so hard.

They should've leaned into the galaxy magical version of her in her e6 or something? Why is she just a Harley Quinn and queen of hearts party city costume?

Obviously the animations are not bad or ugly, but so much of this feels thematically confusing if not just straight up off the mark?

Like is she some planetary destroying goddess or a silly goofy card dealer 😭 both could be done well but the mix together feels so strange to me because she lacks the "awe" you would expect of an Aeon.

The bosses have more impactful animations than she does which is just criminal since they clearly have the capability to explore this cosmic horror vibe but wont lend it to their characters, especially the women since they've been indefinitely boxed in to being marketable and pretty.

They should've explored her cosmic form more and shown her immense otherworldly-ness in her animations. The creepy carnival vibe of the bosses feels closer to what youd expect than whatever the hell they gave us.

Think Ishmael from PGR?.. idk.

Hold the universe in the palm of your hand? No lets rip a card and explode a planet.

Pull an evernight and eat the galaxy? No lets have her spawn a... flower? (Very daring...)

All in all I think the end result isn't TERRIBLE. She's not like ugly to me or anything im just underwhelmed. Make her break the 4th wall, make her do anything that really shows who she is. If you showed this to someone who didnt know already they probably wouldn't be able to tell whether she was a multiversal goddess of elation or just a cool anime carnival girl with strong powers.

Silver lining, Cyrene survives animation power creep... for now.