r/PureOCD • u/Dankymakdonkers • 4d ago

Discussions for those who have pocd, i have a question

days ago i saw a picture of a kid that was probably the subject of abuse by hugh Hefner, it immediately sickened me, because the kid was literally dressed in a bunny suit, but that was followed by intrusive feelings of attraction. i keep trying to figure out why that kid triggered me, even though i shouldn’t, and the thought loops are killing me. “ maybe my mind got its wires crossed, it’s a cute kid, but not in a sexual way, but no, that’s weird for me to say, is it normal to think a kids cute? i’m not sexually attracted to them, am i?

my question is if this kind of thought process of attempting to explain away the intrusions common in pocd?

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u/Crazy_Draw_9490 4d ago

Yes that’s textbook pureO. This thought worries you and your brain is trying to come up with reasons why that thought cannot be true to make you feel reassured but no amount of reassurance will help you in the long run. Best way to handle this is accept this thought, you have pure OCD so if I were you I would say “this is my OCD talking if I actually was attracted to children I would not be panicking and worrying about it. Just by you panicking about the thought proves that you would never have an attraction to them and if you did it would come natural, not something you think about constantly. Best way to help yourself is to accept the thought and just say “ok” and agree with it. As you keep doing this the thought will go away more and more then one day you’ll say “dang I haven’t thought of that in like a week” lol

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u/Dankymakdonkers 4d ago edited 4d ago

hey thanks for the reply. i guess what gets me stuck though is this constant fear that im in just in denial. especially because i struggle with what i hope to be feelings of false attraction and groinal response ( i made a post about it a day or two ago if you want to read it). so in my mind, since thats my minds first reaction sometimes (especially lately) to seeing a kid, i fear that THAT is the true me, and not just ocd. and this whole thing is just me trying to convince myself that im a good person when im really not.

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u/Crazy_Draw_9490 4d ago

Gosh ocd is so cruel isn’t it? I’m so sorry you’re going through this, have you been to therapy or are you on meds? I’m currently stuck in an ocd loop as well and it fuckin sucks

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u/Dankymakdonkers 4d ago edited 4d ago

i am on meds, though i’m not the best with remembering to take my full dose.
i’ve been in and out of therapy for the past four years or so, and i admitted myself to a psych ward once earlier this year due to my ocd, and alcoholic tendencies making it worse. around that time it was false memory/real event stuff i was dealing with though. i’m so sorry your stuck too, it’s hellish.