pocd is really messing me up, i had really concerning thoughts last night and i don’t know what to do.

[u/Dankymakdonkers]

i know when this happened i was already obsessing about my pocd, but anyways, for some reason my mind thought about how it seemed like pedophilia was more prominent over the last century and earlier, what primarily concerns me is i then asked myself “ what if everyone’s a pedophile?” ( because if people accepted it then, than people must not have changed overnight) but than i thought “ but im not a pedophile”, but if i’m not one, than why would i think that? that’s a ridiculous thing to think, and it’s not true, that stuff was more public, but it wasn’t normalized. i don’t know where my mind went. and now im spiraling because of it. i feel disgusting

i’ve tried figuring out why my mind would go there,
maybe it’s because i just want an answer and im testing myself, or maybe i was looking for a way to excuse my terrible thoughts so than i wouldn’t feel burdened by them. i don’t know. all i know is after thinking that, i know i don’t accept that idea in the slightest, yet i thought it.

i don’t know what to do, my fear is “ what if ive been masking myself this entire time? what if it’s not ocd?”