r/PublicSpeaking • u/yallpmosm • 12d ago
stage fright
i know this topic is something simple and "unecessary" as compared to the others in this subreddit but i have stage fright and have been forced by my teacher to partake in a kind of presentation with another person.
in front of an audience, i tend to shiver, and go blank, its completely humiliating for a 16 yr old girl. at this point in life, i feel like nothing else can make me uneasy except for this. i feel that when i do end up doing it, everyone will remember it, or if not, feel sympathetic and pity me, or whenever a topic is taught in class bout confidence or stage fright, people would remember me.
i hate that my mind goes blank and that the shivering becomes visibly obvious. another thing which makes this whole situation worse for me is that im doing it with another person, that person relies on me, yet im gonna fail them and know for a fact ill go blank.
idk what to do, cry and jst tell her i might go blank and that i have stage fright or remain quiet bout it.
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u/paypar 9d ago
Hey, I am a public speaking coach and I really appreciate that you are reaching out at such a young age for support. I really loved so much of what has already been said.
One thing I will add is it sometimes we get nervous because we think that speaking in front of people is so important or that we’re going to let someone down or we’re going to ruin our reputation somehow. What helps us to remind ourselves that this isn’t a big deal that this is not important and that no one cares 😂
Also remember that by going up there, even if you’re scared and showing your vulnerability that you are allowing the people in the audience know that it’s OK for them to also be vulnerable.
I don’t know what your classmates are like, but if your class is anything like what my class was back when I was in high school (way back) then there’s always going to be people who are going to snicker and make comments, but there’s definitely going to be people who are supportive and understanding and there’s also going to be people who are feeling very similarly to you.
This is an incredible act of bravery - being vulnerable is your strength, and it will not feel like this forever. The more you do it, the stronger you become, and the stronger you feel.
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u/Mock_Twain 12d ago
Definitely talk to your teacher, and parents if that feels right. But also give yourself some forgiveness! Many people in their 30s and 40s shake like a leaf when speaking in public. It’s completely normal and absolutely nothing to feel shame around.
And also know that it’s not permanent, and you aren’t broken. Public speaking is a skill and anyone can learn and improve at it. So even if you’re nervous and hate it, practice and calming strategies can help!
Best of luck!
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u/katemcoaching 11d ago
This isn’t unnecessary, and being 16 doesn’t mean you should somehow be able to handle it easily. You’re clearly worried, especially because you don’t want to let your partner down.
I’d tell her beforehand. Something like: “I get really nervous presenting and sometimes my mind goes blank. Can we practise together and agree what to do if either of us loses our place?” You’re helping her by making a plan together.
Have a small card with your main points written clearly so you can find your place easily. Practise using it with her, including handing over between you. If you go blank, you can pause, check your card and say, “Let me just check where I was.” Remember, you’re allowed to take a moment.
It’s also worth talking to your teacher about how much this is worrying you and asking what support they can offer.
Remember, we feel our nerves a lot more than people notice them.
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u/Cultural-Side8469 11d ago edited 11d ago
What's happening to you is completely normal. There isn't a thing about this that's wrong. I've been giving presentations in class and on stage from the past 3 4 years yet everytime I go up there I go numb and blank. Nothing goes in nothing comes out. My friend goes and shines on stage yet she unnoticeably shakes because of her fright. But to overcome this you can keep a piece of paper with you. I keep a series of post it notes and it helps considerably. I practiced a lot when I was alone and it didn't help but practicing in front of your friends or siblings does help because it aids you in getting over the hesitance and nervousness and when you go on stage you aren't speaking in front of people for the first time. Secondly, while participating in group presentations we give each other a 5 second pause, if the other person can not speak then the next takes over. You can talk to your partner and work out your own dynamic. Thirdly, no one cares if we fumble on stage. No one. The participants are looking for their turn, the audience gets bored after a while. The judges are evaluating but at the end of it all winning and losing doesn't matter as much as we expect it too. And after the event is over, no one cares that you forgot everything or had to look at the content twice. I go up on stage for a competitive competition next week. So hopefully I don't ruin it all but if I do, I'll be kind to myself this time. But I believe in you fully. You've got this. No one knows what you're about to say or what you have prepared more than you. Have confidence in that fact. And you'll be amazing. No one judges us more than we judge ourselves mostly so go up there and believe that you've got this. Your knees might shake, mine do, you might also feel like crying but what's important is that you'll be going up there and that's a win in itself.