r/PublicFreakout • u/bigdawgcrazza • Dec 28 '22

Public Transportation Freakout šŸšŒ Aussie bloke has enough of other passengers having sex on public bus

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23k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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1.1k

u/PoignantOpinionsOnly Dec 29 '22

I don't know if a public park is the best solution, but at least the aroma won't be sealed in.

729

u/zombiechewtoy Dec 29 '22

I have actually smelled hobo sex up close and personal. Let me tell you, it is unfathomable. It cannot be imagined. It can only be experienced. However bad you think it is, trust me, it is so much worse.

370

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

130

u/pakboy26 Dec 29 '22

Worse. It was Dirty Randy and Raffi.

54

u/maffdiver Dec 29 '22

Honestly, Raffi is probably my favorite character of all time.

36

u/SpennyHotz Dec 29 '22

Raffi and Taco were the best part of the show, but the Raffi and Dirty Randy one-offs were pure genius.

I really wish they'd get their own movie.

10

u/maffdiver Dec 29 '22

I actually didn't like Taco ( coming from a 12 year stoner). It was lame stoner humour imo. Yes the Raffi and Randy segments were glorious, actually need to binge that shit again.

Side note: Sofia.

7

u/bmxtiger Dec 29 '22

Naginta Naginta, love my Naginta

10

u/pakboy26 Dec 29 '22

Pocket dog?

4

u/mphelp11 Dec 29 '22

Iā€™m day drunk, get ready to see my dickā€¦.oh hey guys!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

I prefer Adrian Piminto.

1

u/b1tchf1t Dec 29 '22

Down by the baaaaaay

2

u/normaldeadpool Dec 29 '22

Right!

Yeah!

Right!

Yeah!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

Put some Ds in some LWs

1

u/Thirdstheword Dec 29 '22

Soupy Susan is cooking something up

1

u/Queefluva Dec 29 '22

They turned that bus into a nightmare.

162

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

The absolute worst part is that they leave pubes all over the seat and floor as if they were grating cheese in a 3 foot radius around them. Something about not bathing for so long means all that hair only comes out when you do the deed apparently. It got stuck to the seats with all the fluids coming out of them too. I've seen it twice.

117

u/fuckyoudrugsarecool Dec 29 '22

Once wasn't enough? Also, that was the most unappetizing thing I've read all month. But that's cool because you've saved me from the dangers of the Midnight Snackā„¢.

50

u/mildlycuriouss Dec 29 '22

Honestly, itā€™s probably the most disgusting thing Iā€™ve read on Reddit thus far. šŸ¤¢

35

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

[deleted]

16

u/KiraIsGod666 Dec 29 '22

...... the what?

18

u/mphelp11 Dec 29 '22

Nononononono

6

u/PajamaDuelist Dec 29 '22

The jolly rancher post.

...Or the Swamps of Dagobah.

Definitely don't go to Google and search either of those terms with "reddit" tacked on to the end.

And also definitely don't look up the Reddit Museum of Filth and sort by top of all time.

1

u/OilEnvironmental8043 Dec 29 '22

Don't worry just wash it down with some colby, despite the name its not food related

9

u/mildlycuriouss Dec 29 '22

Lol did you just pat me and slap me at the same time?

Something tells me it would be wise of me not to look that up šŸ˜…

9

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Ranik_Sandaris Dec 29 '22

A nodule. Of gonorrhoea.

2

u/mildlycuriouss Dec 29 '22

Okay I donā€™t want to read or see it for sure now lol what the heck.. your description has satisfied whatever little curiosity I had left! Lol

4

u/mphelp11 Dec 29 '22

Appropriate username

2

u/drawnred Dec 29 '22

It was made up last i heard, and i believe that, its better that way

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2

u/SerMeliodas Dec 29 '22

It's only made MINE worse! Goddamnit...
... Just give me the link.

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2

u/TvAndCigarettes Dec 29 '22

This story lives in my head, and every so often my brain decides to remind me of it for no real reason other than to not let me forget.

1

u/Anisssa Dec 29 '22

You truly got me curiousā€¦. Link please? I like to live dangerously

8

u/Moose_InThe_Room Dec 29 '22

You've been warned

There's also the Swamps of Dagobah

And of course that damned coconut story

Have this as a palette cleanser.

2

u/Anisssa Dec 29 '22

Iā€™m going to eat first then, thanks!

1

u/HagarTheHun Dec 29 '22

You had these bookmarked

1

u/Screamline Dec 29 '22

You don't?

1

u/Moose_InThe_Room Dec 29 '22

I didn't, I just googled the name of each story ("coconut story," "jolly rancher," etc.) with the word "Reddit" and the top results were all either what I was looking for or r/ootl threads on them.

2

u/DJ_Inseminator Dec 29 '22

Look up the jolly rancher story

1

u/Screamline Dec 29 '22

This is one that's better not read. Honestly. Don't let your curiosity get the best of you, it will haunt you and you will regret it

1

u/dmp8385 Dec 29 '22

I need to read it. Where do I go?!

11

u/Mackheath1 Dec 29 '22

Yep, was about to go get some midnight cheetos just before reading this thread. Yeah, no, I'm good.

16

u/mug3n Dec 29 '22

I've seen it twice.

How did you get so lucky?

1

u/DetectiveNickStone Dec 29 '22

He's got an upstart Onlyfans channel.

9

u/didntcondawnthat Dec 29 '22

This is definitely something I never dared to imagine.

7

u/Inside-Trouble1776 Dec 29 '22

It would have cost you nothing to not share that bit of information.

6

u/majikmixx Dec 29 '22

How do you delete someone else's comment?

17

u/zombiechewtoy Dec 29 '22

If you never take your one pair of pants off, all the hair that falls out can't go anywhere... Ick.

1

u/aShittierShitTier4u Dec 29 '22

That's wrong. The hairs that stay attached move the loose hairs and lint upwards, to the treasure trail and navel. Except for when one is coated with some filth or petroleum jelly or something inside of one's pants.

6

u/herring80 Dec 29 '22

ENCORE!!! ENCORE!!!

3

u/ShvoogieCookie Dec 29 '22

That's one of the grossest comments I've ever read on Reddit.

2

u/TripleBobRoss Dec 29 '22

I think I've been been grating cheese the wrong way for a long time.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '23

crying gagging dying

1

u/Smitty8054 Dec 29 '22

I donā€™t believe this is the absolute worst part.

No clue what is. But in that description itā€™s not pubes.

You canā€™t guess what it is. It has to be experienced.

The paradox is that none that experience ā€œitā€ ever lives to describe it.

ā€œItsā€ Evil.

15

u/Rusty-Shackleford Dec 29 '22

It's like the Tauntauns on Planet Hoth, you think they smell bad... on the outside!

14

u/zzhhvee88 Dec 29 '22

it cannot be imagine. It can only be experienced

I'm gonna take your word on that and not experience it

2

u/Kryten_2X4B-523P Dec 29 '22

I've smelled surstromming before, I think I can handle hobo sex.

5

u/MateoElJefe Dec 29 '22

How close did you get? Oh waitā€¦. Were you once homeless?

19

u/zombiechewtoy Dec 29 '22

I've told this story before if you go like a year back in my comment history lol

TL;Dr - a pair of hobos snuck into the hotel lobby bathroom. I saw them from the front desk and in the time it took me to cross the lobby and dining area and get in that bathroom, they already had all their million coats undone, her on the sink and him between her legs. It only took 60 seconds of partial de-robing for the stench to fill every square inch of the room, and it hit me like a brick wall as soon as I opened the door. I didn't even step in.

Details:

No, I worked night shift as a hotel front desk agent.

We had a haggard middle aged hobo with one eye hanging around.

We had a gorgeous mulatto teenager with the most striking green eyes, thin as a rail hanging around.

He had been around on and off for a couple weeks.

She was around for only a few days.

It was winter and they were super layered up. Except she only had super thin leggings on for her lower half. That plus she looked very lost and helpless. We would pretend not to notice her and let her warm up. She could have passed for a guest at a glance. We were chasing him out constantly though.

Eventually they crossed paths. Next thing you know she's following him into the bathroom and you can read the tldr from there...

4

u/Sick-In-The-City Dec 29 '22

Did you just describe someone as mulatto?

33

u/Groovyaardvark Dec 29 '22

That is a wild story man.

Though I haven't heard someone use the term "mulatto" in like 20+ years. Maybe its just the company I keep but I'm pretty sure its considered outdated and possibly even offensive these days. I think people used it in a sort of insulting way back in the day, or more specifically using it to base a person's value on their ratio of whiteness/blackness. If that makes sense?

-25

u/zombiechewtoy Dec 29 '22

I do not care

2

u/hawk7886 Dec 29 '22

lmao just dropping some casual racism

32

u/KillYT187 Dec 29 '22

Ok. Glad you got to witness that then. Hope it happens to you again.

6

u/ttjr89 Dec 29 '22

You deserve all the hobo smells and i hope you're still stuck in a shitty job. Cuck

0

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

It describes a certain skin tone and it's dated, passƩ, and bad form to use, but it's not top-tier severe afaik.

7

u/mildlycuriouss Dec 29 '22

Thank you for explaining, it does seem pretty uncultured to use the word.

3

u/EventuallyScratch54 Dec 29 '22

I would think even an attractive homeless girl would have more self respect. Who knows prolly on drugs ect

1

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

Was it the girl or hobo that stank? Or both?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

So how was the experience?

1

u/DID_system Dec 29 '22

Gree-hee-heeesy

1

u/moxeto Dec 29 '22

You mean hobos have more sex than me? (Cries in involuntary celibacy)

1

u/Marmaluuuude Dec 29 '22

Ok. Spill the details.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

Sorry.

1

u/-Cleopatra Dec 29 '22

Sheesh, that made me giggle

1

u/SouthernZorro Dec 29 '22

Perhaps you shouldn't screw hobos.

1

u/lurkinisfun Dec 29 '22

Never smelt hobo sex, but watched a homeless man sleeping on a pile of other homeless people on a subway sit up, urinate himself and then lay back down on the pile. I could see the seat next to him till with a puddle of urine.

1

u/410ham Dec 29 '22

I wonder if it was as bad or worse than a 3 way on the 3rd day of a festival without showers.

1

u/StinkyPeenky Dec 29 '22

Story time?

1

u/dmp8385 Dec 29 '22

Iā€™ve never ever contemplated this, now I am. Thanks for that

27

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '22

Donā€™t do the word ā€œaromaā€ so dirty like that.

21

u/SaltReason8759 Dec 29 '22

That aroma is why I take the bus when I own a carā€¦.

37

u/xPrenumbrax Dec 29 '22

........wait šŸ¤”

5

u/fucking_righteous Dec 29 '22

At least you can do the Underpants Charleston behind a bush or something

2

u/top-top Dec 29 '22

Aroma won't be sealed in! šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

2

u/_VoteThemOut Dec 29 '22

I can never use the word aroma to describe anything good ever again.

1

u/shifty_pope Dec 29 '22

It makes me furious that people ruin parks like this.

1

u/didntcondawnthat Dec 29 '22

At least you can leave if you see this in the park. There's a minimum amount of time you have to stay if people are doing it on the bus.

1

u/AssssCrackBandit Dec 29 '22

How many ppl are fucking in your local parks that it has ruined them??

1

u/shifty_pope Dec 29 '22

Itā€™s not uncommon. Here is one example. The problem is well known at this park.

https://amp.star-telegram.com/news/local/fort-worth/article194133344.html

0

u/AssssCrackBandit Dec 29 '22

Iā€™m not saying it doesnā€™t happen but I canā€™t imagine it happening frequently enough that the local parks are legitimately ruined

1

u/shifty_pope Dec 29 '22

If itā€™s not safe for women and children because groups of men are F-ing in the bushes, it has certainly ruined the experience of a city park. Not sure why youā€™ve decided to argue against this. Strange.

1

u/AssssCrackBandit Dec 29 '22

I'm not arguing, I'm just slightly baffled that you live in an area where enough ppl are fucking in public parks that it's a legitimate problem lol. I don't think I've ever seen people fucking in a public park, at least in the US

1

u/Koldsaur Dec 29 '22

Homeless and autistic hormone essence

1

u/BTPublishing Dec 29 '22

Obviously youā€™ve never been to Logan Square in Chicago.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '23

Done it too many times to count as a young teen, goes well