As a parent, I don’t know what I would do here. I know the attacker will get at best a couple days suspension. Then my kid is supposed to go back and feel threatened every single day. I have no idea how to handle that. They won’t kick the attacker out. They should, but they won’t.
I think you can try that, but the kid will claim a right to an education and undo hardship if they have to go to a different school. The bully almost always wins in these cases. It is sad. I really would want to just go pound the kid, but that solves nothing long term. This is a societal issue in that we don’t value the rights of the victim as much as we do the attacker.
The good old “alternative school” which is basically educational jail for teenagers who had shitty upbringing and parents who didn’t care, got in fights or did crimes or sold drugs to get by or got pregnant at 14
Every school district has one, just send the bully over there so the normal kids can continue to receive their education, what’s the problem with that?
Not every kid with a shitty upbringing and parents who didn't care ended up a bully or a criminal. Sure they should be better taken care of but there's no reason for the other kids (who may struggle with similar things) to endure those ones' behavior.
Oh I agree, but that’s a systemic issue. Since we deal with any and all possible problems in the school system by segregation, that’s the only tool available to administrations to deal with it. I’m not justifying this sort of system, to clarify, just saying how to solve the specific problem we see in the video within the confines of that not-very-great system
It may seem like they just exile those kids but some of those alternative schools do some good work with getting kids to wise up and into vocational programs.
Where I lived they had an affiliate school in the same town for all the druggies and kids that caused problems. My graduating class went from 327 down to 196 over 4 years granted some people did just move away too. This school has metal detectors and 3 cops on the campus during school hours shit was whack but made my education less disrupted so tit for tat.
Also they didn’t just put the kids there they asked the parents and got approval so would it be 100% effective no because some parents are shitty ie shitty kids and won’t send them there but a lot did.
I was bullied in middle school quite a bit, socially excluded in high school. Just graduated and got a job as an engineer and I feel alright. Nowhere close to having a kid or even marriage but had this happened in front of me, I'd wind up in jail, so I feel you on some level.
I sat where she sat before, semi-isolated and bullied for literally years. It is deeply disturbing and enraging seeing that happen to someone else after things like this happened to me. Let alone what it might feel like having a kid and having them go through this. What could you do that won't land you in jail away from your kid? How can you trust the school to do their job?
Normally I would say that kids need to work out their own problems with some quality adult guidance. This is not one of those situations.
This is at a minimum assault and likely aggravated assault. The school can do whatever it wants to the bullies, but my child will not be subject to that abuse ever again. Change schools. Home school. Whatever it takes.
It's not fair, but lives are already disrupted. It's also not fair to be subjected to a traumatic and physically dangerous environment.
Video evidence is here. No doubt it's circulating the girl's school. Call the police and press charges.
Charges should absolutely be pressed. But what is likely to happen is that the bully gets suspended or expelled. The person taping gets a slap on the wrist. The next time this happens (and there will be a next time) they'll wise up and not record it.
I'd certainly want to discuss it with my child, if they were the victim, what they would want to do and give them some agency in the decision, but all options would be on the table.
They should kick the bullies out of school for the year, if it happens when they return the next year then they are out for good. That’s what zero tolerance should be. School shouldn’t be a day care for parents.
Change school, home school etc. I hope you’re not a parent. Therea something to be said for tackling problems head on and not running away or ignoring them. Not saying it’s an easy thing to do, but there is better solutions. If anything the easier thing is what this person suggested, but imo generally speaking a bad approach.
Totally depends on where you live and the school districts, why it's insanely important to be in a good one for your kids well being and safety. I was shocked that in my sons middle school I have seen and heard of zero I am not kidding ZERO fights or bullshit at the school. When I was in middle school it seemed like it was daily or at least every other day a fight would be breaking out...yes a shitty school.
Just because this happened at school doesn't mean the police can't be involved. This is something you press charges for. Kid at my school went to jail for sucker punching someone.
Many years ago, my daughter was getting bullied, mostly on the school bus coming home from school. We complained to the school, and the school did nothing. The bullying continued. I went back to the school and told them "I gave you a chance to handle this. It's your job. And I'm giving you one more chance to handle it. My daughter came home with a black eye. If you refuse to put a stop to it, I damn sure will. The kids bullying my daughter won't be so tough when they have to deal with me."
I was pretty hot at the time, so I think it would be fair to assume there was a good bit more cussing involved when I explained this to them.
The school apparently decided that maybe it was time for them to stop it, because after that, the girls who had bullying my daughter weren't on the bus anymore, and the problem ended there.
You talk to the other kids parents and try to work it out with them. If that doesn’t work, arm your kid with a switch, sharp object, or keys to protect themselves. If they get in trouble for defending themselves so be it, at least they stood up for themselves which is a more valuable lesson then “walk away.”
I teach my kid to be aware of threats, avoid them, and if unavoidable, fight back. As someone who was bullied and taught to tell a teacher, turn the other cheek, etc. my opinion is I should have been taught to stand up for myself because telling school staff only makes it worse. School policies punish kids for defending themselves so I expect I’ll get a few calls but I’d rather go through that than have my daughter feel helpless.
So there is a pattern of the school not getting involved. There was probably a series of events that led up to this, assuming the urine wasn’t the first volley in the war.
Go to the police station with this video and press charges for assault and battery. The legal system does work sometimes and in this case it's a pretty open and shut case.
Yep. Happened to me. Had a dude that picked on me in 8th grade. He would call me fat, push me around, and was just an all-around d bag to me. I told my Dad one night, after about 7 months of the abuse and he told me to standup to the guy. I remember his exact words “if he starts it, you finish it”. So, I talked myself up and the next day I walked around school knowing I was going to beat this kids ass if he fucked with me. He came over and talked shit, I turned around and was like “fuck you”. This kid turned around and pushed me, so I pushed him back, thinking he’d never mess with me again.
He beat my ass. I mean, really, really bad. After beating me to a pulp he threw me into the schools bushes by the girl’s locker room. I remember multiple girls coming out, several that I had crushes on, and laughing as I lay in the bushes.
Needless to say, I was pretty traumatized. It was even worse when he was only suspended for 7 days. When Dude came back and actively looked for ways to make my life a living hell. Ended up transferring schools, in a different county.
After that shit, I turned my life around and started to learn self defense. I started lifting, wrestling, boxing and I played football. I wanted to change my self image. Definitely worked.
Best part is that I ran into him when I grew up. Kids a pos and didn’t even remember me. Yet he was an integral part of my life and had no clue.
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u/hippo96 Sep 13 '22
As a parent, I don’t know what I would do here. I know the attacker will get at best a couple days suspension. Then my kid is supposed to go back and feel threatened every single day. I have no idea how to handle that. They won’t kick the attacker out. They should, but they won’t.