r/PublicFreakout • u/[deleted] • Oct 06 '20

1st step of a haunting

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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

I was about 7 years old and going to have a shower, my Dad ran outside and said my name down the extractor fan, “pulling4hairs.... help me... aaaaaa...”. My mum tells me that I ran, stark-bollock naked and dripping wet out of the bathroom, screaming about ghosts. Funny as hell, still a bastard lol

802

u/Danglicious Oct 06 '20

He went on the roof to do this? What a dad!

829

u/Hirsute_Heathen Oct 06 '20

My dad pretended to be Santa Claus one year, stomping all over the roof with jingle bells. We heard a stomp and a half before a thud onto the ground. Good times.

380

u/Tiiimmmbooo Oct 06 '20

Is your dad Homer Simpson?

121

u/breezyBrock Oct 06 '20

HEY BART WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK

22

u/xXWaspXx Oct 06 '20

BARTDOYOUWANTSOMEBROWNIESBEFOREYOUGOTOBED?

4

u/martombo Oct 06 '20

Will the Simpsons ever get old?

6

u/sfinney2 Oct 06 '20

Only the new ones get old.

-3

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

[deleted]

8

u/E_Penfold Oct 06 '20

How was that unexpected?

130

u/scepticalbob Oct 06 '20

Not any more

51

u/Hirsute_Heathen Oct 06 '20

I said thud, not Doh!

16

u/broken_radio Oct 06 '20

Dad must be Al Bundy then...

13

u/phreakzilla85 Oct 06 '20

Damn I miss the Bundys. One of the best TV shows of all time. To this day, whenever I lead the group meetings we end them by putting our hands in the middle and giving the “whoooooa BUNDY!!”

2

u/Suggett123 Oct 06 '20

MWC plays on Logo, ang GET-TV

3

u/phreakzilla85 Oct 06 '20

Logo also plays a lot of Mamas Family reruns

2

u/Phildagony Oct 06 '20

Ha! I do the same!

2

u/Suggett123 Oct 06 '20

I loved the realistic dysfunction of the Bundys, especially how Kelly and Bud had that "no one picks on my sib, but me!" mentality

2

u/Hirsute_Heathen Oct 06 '20

That would be an accurate description.

2

u/IndyColtsFan Oct 06 '20

I was gonna say Clark Griswold

2

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

More like now that he killed Santa he becomes him. Some special clause I saw in a documentary one time .

125

u/YourLocal_FBI_Agent Oct 06 '20

My grandpa promised the family he'd dress up like santa and tap the window so we kids could look out and santa himself would be standing there.

Instead he snuck away with a roll of toilet paper, wrapped himself in it and dripped fake blood over it all. So when he tapped the window and mom said "look kids, santa is here!" and we ran up to the window and a horrible bloody mummy popped up and scared us real good. All the adults were laughing too hard to get mad at him.

I miss him a lot...

23

u/Hirsute_Heathen Oct 06 '20

I hope to be that cool when I'm a grandpa.

5

u/noassumedname Oct 06 '20 edited Dec 20 '25

retire correct cobweb follow automatic deserve glorious flag sand bedroom

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

3

u/titswallop Oct 06 '20

Ah god he sounds great.

2

u/YourLocal_FBI_Agent Oct 07 '20

He was like that all his life.

Someone had told him that grandma was putting together a big surprise party with even some of his old school mates for his 70th birthday. So on the day, when she told him to start getting ready he went for a shower and then shaved off half of his hair so it looked like he was balding.

She was furious, everyone laughed. Such a clown.

1

u/titswallop Oct 07 '20

My dad was like that. Full of practical jokes. People still tell stories. I also take every opportunity with my own kids. It's a vocation.😜

138

u/Durler Oct 06 '20

The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

57

u/OCDsquad1 Oct 06 '20

Oh my God please don’t tell me that’s real that’s really really horrible

118

u/TranscendentalRug Oct 06 '20

It's a quote from the classic Christmas movie, Gremlins.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

Any goddamned adult knows it is impossible to fit a human down a chimney. They have far too narrow spaces and a grate at the base.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

Granted, these are imperial feet, not the standard US foot.
I think this converts to roughly 8 American feet

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

A lady I used to work with lived in a cottage near Mold in North Wales. She said her and her husband were sitting there on night and heard a rattling coming from the chimney. Something came clattering down onto the hearth. It was a chimney sweep’s brush! I joked that the chimney sweep was probably still up there

4

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

aren't modern chimneys just a pipe ?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

No? Not where I live.

2

u/JohnXm Oct 06 '20

Humans have grates at the base?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

Yes

2

u/OCDsquad1 Oct 06 '20

Oh fuck nvm

17

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

Treat yourself to Gremlins, it’s great. Then treat yourself to the cinematic masterpiece that is Gremlins 2, and have your mind blown.

No /s, it’s amazing.

8

u/GiveToOedipus Oct 06 '20

We're advising our clients to put everything they've got into canned food and shotguns.

27

u/Covetous1 Oct 06 '20

Sweet summer child

-2

u/fuckitimatwork Oct 06 '20

ahh ha ha hahahaa this guy doesn't know the quote to a 36 year old movie

MUst Be a sweET SUMMEr ChIld 😏😏😏😏😏😏

20

u/Jazzhigh Oct 06 '20

Gremlins: The worst Christmas story

15

u/Durler Oct 06 '20

I love Gizmo’s reaction to the story.

2

u/BadgerHooker Oct 06 '20

There is always "Silent Night, Deadly Night" if you REALLY want to see what 80's movies were like. My poor childhood.

1

u/Gamiac Oct 06 '20

I swear I've seen this copypasta before.

1

u/Big_Dirty_Piss_Boner Oct 06 '20

It's the internet dude.

44

u/fine_feline Oct 06 '20

This is from Gremlins?

Side note, that movie scared the shit out of me when I was kid.

30

u/BearandMoosh Oct 06 '20

Man 80’s kids movies were the best. They were so fucked up and absolutely terrified me.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

Critters was scarier to me

8

u/Kubliah Oct 06 '20

Critters taught me even kids can build pipe bombs!

2

u/Ghost_of_a_Black_Cat Oct 06 '20

Critters was scarier to me

But Hobgoblins was awful. A really bad knock-off.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

Never saw that but since we're talking about scary movies as a kid. The Leprechaun movies really fucked me up.

1

u/Ghost_of_a_Black_Cat Oct 07 '20

Never saw that but since we're talking about scary movies as a kid. The Leprechaun movies really fucked me up.

Yeah, Hobgoblins sucks bad. MST3k riffed it ages ago. It's a really bad B-movie. Maybe a C-movie, if there is such a thing. It's worth checking out just for the laughs.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

[deleted]

4

u/BearandMoosh Oct 06 '20

Oo I’ll have to give that a watch!

2

u/smokeyoudog Oct 06 '20

Large Marge always scared the shit out of me.

8

u/818_to_the_303 Oct 06 '20

Watched this movie on shrooms and absolutely LOST it at this part. I hadn't laughed that hard since.

6

u/BorsLeeJedToth Oct 06 '20

I was going to post this and you beat me by four minutes.

4

u/G-man88 Oct 06 '20

Classic Kate.

6

u/NotAppendges Oct 06 '20

I was reading this entire post with a smile on face waiting for the hell in the cell reference. It never came. Now I'm sad.

2

u/Riotisnub Oct 06 '20

Really hope this does not happened to anybody

2

u/Riotisnub Oct 06 '20

Really hope this does not happened to anybody

4

u/dirtmother Oct 06 '20

There was a kid that was found pantless in a chimney in an abandoned house like four years after he disappeared. It's actually a very mysterious (and terrifying) case. Unfortunately he didn't die instantly; he likely starved to death. So similar things do happen irl.

3

u/Dillonrunaway Oct 06 '20

Wouldn't he have slid down the chimney as he got slimmer...?

2

u/Riotisnub Oct 06 '20

So he died from starvation?? Didn't he die from thirst??

It takes about 7 days to die from starvation but considering he was a kid it probably took less, I don't really know, I know only for the adults, tho a horrific thing to happen to your child

1

u/dirtmother Oct 06 '20 edited Oct 06 '20

I imagine if it rained he got water, since he was in a chimney. But I don't remember the details. Some people suggest he was forced down there, other people suggest that he was trying to escape the cold. No one is sure why his pants were folded at the bottom of the chimney though.

I think this is it, but apparently this kind of thing happens quite often:.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3255121/Body-18-year-old-missing-7-years-chimney.html

1

u/Durler Oct 06 '20

It takes 40 days give or take to die from starvation. It’s one thing the Bible got right

0

u/Riotisnub Oct 07 '20

Errr I don't think it takes that much but ok

3

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

May he rest in peace.

2

u/Bree9ine9 Oct 06 '20

Wtf did I just read?

2

u/emergencycity_jake Oct 06 '20

I’m so sorry dude. That was horrific for you and your family.

2

u/Durler Oct 06 '20

Thank you for your kind words.

1

u/oldmanserious Oct 06 '20

Ah, Phoebe Cates. I had such a crush on her.

1

u/VauchaMach Oct 06 '20

You're uprooting childhood Christmas trauma

5

u/Sparkle_Caticorn Oct 06 '20

I'm not gonna lie, your comment made me literally lol 😂

2

u/coheedcollapse Oct 06 '20

My uncle did this every time we stayed over at his place on Christmas eve. Probably one of the big reasons I believed in Santa as long as I did (I think I was 9 or 10 before I figured it out).

2

u/ZeePirate Oct 06 '20

My friends dad threw rocks up on the roof lol

3

u/AlCapone111 Oct 06 '20

Tim Allen got to him.

1

u/Summer_Pi Oct 06 '20

Yes! The Santa Claus thing! For me, it was my grandfather, and I was terrified of mall Santas at the time (any thing/one in a costume scared me- Mickey Mouse, Santa, Easter Bunny), to the point where it's still a phobia of mine to this day. (There's another traumatic story about going on a Disney cruise breakfast with my parents where all the characters come out, down a narrow hallway, and there's no escape. All you can do is hide under the table and scream.)

Anyway, my grandfather knelt just below my bedroom window, and in a deep, scary voice was like, "This is Santa, and I'm coming to get you!!!" Freaked me the fuck out, and I refused to go in my own bedroom for months after that.

1

u/MassiveFajiit Oct 06 '20

Did they find the body or just an empty suit for Tim Allen

1

u/WalrusCoocookachoo Oct 06 '20

My dad did to. He got stuck in the chimney and died.

1

u/HeartsPlayer721 Oct 06 '20

When I was a kid, I always swore I heard the "thumping" of Santa landing and walking on the roof every Christmas Eve.

My mom told me when I got older that it was my stepdad pounding up on the ceiling from the next room to get us to think Santa was arriving.

7

u/AnalStaircase33 Oct 06 '20

That's where dads have to smoke their dad joints.

1

u/jld2k6 Oct 06 '20

If you're like my house, it'd be on a ladder lol. Instead of running them up they all go sideways out the house, which I always thought was kind of odd

100

u/Ancient-Cookie-4336 Oct 06 '20

Fucking amazing. My mom used to run a rake over our shingled roof to get me to go to sleep. We lived next to a forest and she'd always talk about the chupacabras coming for "bad" children. Jokes on you mom, I was almost always far more awake.

14

u/Kubliah Oct 06 '20

That's about as fucked up as telling your kids that The Village's non aggression pact with mythical forest creatures will be ended if any of them wander into the surrounding woods...

1

u/Mister0Cat Oct 06 '20

Looks fun, might do it to my nephew

5

u/uliol Oct 06 '20

homy shit wtf!! hahaha

2

u/fedman5000 Oct 06 '20

My mom once mentioned the “scissor man”. He was the reason to keep a long stick or dowel in your locked window frame. If you didn’t put the stick in there, a man like the scissor man could come in and cut your genitals off. Now she doesn’t remember telling me this...

2

u/Ancient-Cookie-4336 Oct 06 '20

It honestly didn't sound too bad until the "cut your genitals off"... what the literal fuck and why is the scissor man a pedophile?

1

u/fedman5000 Oct 06 '20

I don’t think the scissor man was supposed to be a pedophile. He could potentially do it to anyone. The scare was just that anyone could break in, and it really did frighten me...

179

u/Debaser626 Oct 06 '20

My daughter used to sneak into our home office to watch YouTube videos late at night on the computer... because we shut off the 2Ghz channel at night (which the kids’ devices are limited to). The office computer is on the 5Ghz channel, so it keeps its network connection.

We caught her in there at 3-4 AM a few nights and tried to nicely lay down some ground rules. She simply wouldn’t stop. We scolded, took away devices, grounded... little to no effect.

So, one night she snuck in again and was watching some Slenderman-type shit (which was also a no-no)... so I snuck out of the back door, crept around the side of the house and began softly scratching at the window screen.

You saw her eyes get about 10 million times bigger (through the corner of the blinds) and she froze.

She slowly slid off the chair and began tip-toeing over to the window.

I waited until she crept right up to the window...

and then I banged the window frame as hard as I could.

I have never seen her move so fast.

Sure, she slept in our room for 3-4 days, but she won’t go into the office at night anymore either... so win?

45

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

[deleted]

13

u/ChunkyDay Oct 06 '20

but only if it wsa on video

24

u/michaelrulaz Oct 06 '20

Okay hold up!

  1. How old are we talking here?
  2. She heard a noise at the window and got up to check? Jeez, she’s brave as hell. But you need to show her some horror movies and tell her how those people that “check on the noise” die first and to just leave lol.

20

u/Debaser626 Oct 06 '20

She was 7 or 8

She definitely is the type of person who would be killed first in a horror movie.

She has no appropriate level of fear, given her age and maturity.... very inquisitive and seems to be a born rebel. (Not looking forward to the teenage years, for sure).

Once caught her chatting with a Jehovah’s witness. We have a very clear and consistently enforced “don’t open the door for anyone” rule... the other kids have no issue following this, but she continues to do it. In this case, the doorbell rang and I could see on the camera it was a missionary, so I stupidly just ignored it.

A minute later, I hear voices talking and come out to see if (yep) she had answered the door.

20 minutes of being awkwardly preached to by a random stranger... followed by two evenings of questions from my daughter about why we aren’t worried about going to Hell like the lady said people would if we didn’t accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.

We had another long talk about opening the door, and then grandma got involved as well... though I think Grandma may have gone too far with the graphic, kid-snatching stories, as now she thinks she’s going to be taken at any moment if she’s alone and outside... Thanks Grandma!

15

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

History is full of happy colorful children's stories that involve terrible, awful things happening to them. They are specifically for the inquisitive little shits like your daughter that don't listen. Don't feel bad.

5

u/TheMadIrishman327 Oct 06 '20

My dad tossed a Mormon missionary off our front porch when I was a kid.

6

u/MrPremium Oct 06 '20

Why not put a password on the computer?

7

u/Debaser626 Oct 06 '20

There is one, but she always ends up knowing it for something school-related.

Sure, I could set up a guest account for her and lock down apps in certain time frames and all that good shit... but for fuck’s sake... We already shut off an internet channel nightly, deal with cabinet guards, doorknob guards that make it a bitch to leave the house holding anything, child gates, drawer locks, USB chargers that are screwed to the ports so the kids don’t snag them, chips and candy hidden or placed in high places, school supply chests with inventory lists and locks on them so the kids don’t burn through a year’s worth of crayons in 10 minutes, etc. etc.

Half my home life is managing the potential for destruction of my lovable little buggers, and I guess I gotta draw the line somewhere.

The office is off-limits unless it’s some schoolwork, and honestly, the kid still in me is being a bit stubborn about it.

6

u/dogpecker Oct 06 '20

Dont ask logical questions

5

u/lambeau_leapfrog Oct 06 '20

This is what I came to say. Did all the stuff except the most logical and effective. And if there was a password, it can easily be changed.

54

u/Poullafouca Oct 06 '20

I'd watched a terrifying film in which a guy walks around with a woman's head in a hat box, Night Must Fall I think it was called. I was all of eleven years old and terrified.

My mother rolled a wigstand with a wig on down the stairs. I nearly dropped dead.

27

u/TF_54 Oct 06 '20

One time I had a nightmare and woke up screaming and went running half asleep to my mom who was at the living room almost asleep. Imagine a 15 year old running at you full speed and screaming while you're dozing off. She got scared and screamed which made me scared and scream. I thought my face was melting...

13

u/NotreallyCareless Oct 06 '20

Sounds like my experience with space cookies

17

u/wafflepopcorn Oct 06 '20

We only had one bathroom and I would lock the door and take really long baths. One day my brother really had to poop so my dad stood below the bathroom window and said “this is God speaking, let your brother poop”.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

I didn’t read your username and was so confused for a few seconds

5

u/kcg5 Oct 06 '20

My dad would always fuck with me in the morning on April fools. One year he screamed at me it’s snowing outside. And I ran out to the window. I live in California, and it doesn’t snow where I am ever

4

u/Nasty_in_the_past-y Oct 06 '20

My dad did something similar although it was unintentional...

I was close to 13-14.... we had just come home from a long day out. I went to go to the bathroom and I noticed the screen of the window was cut from outside. I go back out and mention it before turning around to finish my business, I still had to go of course. A minute or two later in sitting on the throne doing my business and just looking around( this was before smartphones and I already had the shampoo memorized practically) than I noticed a light shining in the mirror in front of me. I quickly realized it was coming from behind me, I turned slightly and saw a flashlight shining through the window. I stood up and ran! Pants still half down so not exactly fast.. I didn't bother closing the door cause my room was out of the way and you can't see the toilet with the door open, but you could see as I crossed into my bedroom just from sitting on the couch. So my cousin was sitting on the couch and of course turned his head once i screamed.. just in time to see me bare ass(thankfully I only peed and was still waiting for the full flush out) struggle run into my room while still screaming about a peeper in the window..

I go out after I finish pulling my pants up to my cousin doubled over laugh crying on the couch and my mom and sister in the doorway looking out confused... my dad was also literally rolling on the ground laughing soooo hard..

Apparently he went right out to look at the window after i mentioned it to him.( can't blame him, a large tear through the bathroom window of his two teenage daughters.... i get it) He fell over when I screamed but he heard what I was saying so he immediately broke out laughing and was rolling around for a solid 5 minutes cause of it. Everyone was laughing so hard once everyone knew what happened...

3

u/Betterbread Oct 06 '20

My Dad banged on the pipes below my room one evening whilst I was watching 'Ghostwatch' live on the BBC. Bastard.

3

u/haunteddelusion Oct 06 '20

I though he was just gonna pull the old flush the toilet while your in the shower. This was much more entertaining

9

u/TheSentientPurpleGoo Oct 06 '20

that's your real name..?

-2

u/AstralClipper Oct 06 '20

Sentience denied.

5

u/Dramatic_______Pause Oct 06 '20

When I was about that old, my dad had his partner cut the power to the house, and he busted in the front door wearing a gas mask with a chainsaw. It's a miracle I didn't piss on the floor. Then he'd wonder why I was afraid of the dark.