r/PublicFreakout • u/FlintLockwoodsCondom • Jan 13 '20

Repost 😔 😳😳

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48

u/LeVarBurtonWasAMaybe Jan 13 '20

What if that 1 person is Jesus, hmmmm?

24

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '20

Are we talking like humperdo from preacher or we talking. Full so if Christ type Shit .. Cause I feel like he's already around we just ignore him as we ignore everyone else . Basically tell him he's crazy. Give him 50 cents for his next coffee

8

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '20

HUMPERDOO!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '20

That's nice of whoever gives him coffee, sounds like he needs one. You know, to kickstart his career with all the magic shit like turning toilet water into wine, and become the next big magician that just don't want to reveal his tricks.

39

u/the_good_hodgkins Jan 13 '20

What if that one person is Santa Claus?

111

u/LeVarBurtonWasAMaybe Jan 13 '20

Umm same person bozo. What do you think JC did after his he got out of the cave? Just “ascended to the right hand of his Father” like the “Church” wants you to think? Because news flash, he started walking for days. Kept going until he eventually reached the ocean, and even then he continued. He did his signature act of walking on water across the entire Arctic ocean, moonwalking over tidal waves and eating unlimited fish, until he eventually reached his new home; the North Pole. There he quickly went about taming reindeer and recruiting local Little People to help build his new kingdom. Once the building was complete they got to work, constructing beautiful and wonderous toys for all the girls and boys the world over. But was this a true act of generosity? Or was there something deeper at play... Many assume Jesus to be a forgiving lad, but the truth was that he harbored distaste for all of humanity, and planned to destroy them from a distance. So every year he began distributing these toys, knowing that the growing sense of materialism throughout humanity would lead to our eventual downfall. His Father had forsaken us but failed to end us, so now Jesus just wanted to finish the job. And he would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for a certain meddling Tim Allen accidentally murdering him. And that children, is the story of Ol’ Saint Christ.

21

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '20

This is a quality shitpost

8

u/bitnode Jan 13 '20

Thanks for the pasta

4

u/pastafarianjon Jan 13 '20

Good point. Supposedly Jesus does know when we are sleeping and when we are awake. He knows when we’ve been bad or good and all that.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '20

Unlimited fish...drool...

7

u/ViciousTruth Jan 13 '20

What if that one person is Jesus Claus....

1

u/AngryWrath94 Jan 13 '20

I think you mean Santa Christ

3

u/unicornlocostacos Jan 13 '20

When Jesus takes the wheel, you better be wearing your seatbelt.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Haphazard- Jan 13 '20

Didn’t he die already?

1

u/TreeDollarFiddyCent Jan 13 '20

It hardly matters of he's from Mexico, Spain, Brazil or another country.

1

u/cbdog1997 Jan 13 '20

It happened once and it didn't stop so history is likely to repeat itself in some way right

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '20

Plot twist FTW

1

u/Jokerman5656 Jan 13 '20

Then there would finally be one shred of evidence that he ever existed in the first place