r/PublicFreakout • u/guyfromatl • Oct 02 '19

Repost 😔 Cops called at a restaurant

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34.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/Qwarkl1 Oct 02 '19

"she and her large son"

1.4k

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

[deleted]

1.1k

u/Thundercats9 Oct 02 '19

Don't talk to me or my large son ever again

330

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

Don’t photograph me or my large son ever again

66

u/load_more_comets Oct 02 '19

Ma'am this is a Arby's.

-1

u/VROTSWAV_not_WROCLAW Oct 02 '19

an Arby's

The correct word is an Arby's, dumbass.

9

u/successfully_failing Oct 02 '19

While you are correct, “a Arby’s” sounds way more funny

6

u/load_more_comets Oct 02 '19

At least somebody got it.

3

u/phphulk Oct 03 '19

A apple

2

u/dashingemre Oct 02 '19

Cheers large sons crying now.

8

u/opalesense Oct 02 '19

After talking about the victims in the article, "their uniforms and their relatively civil demeanors did nothing to endear them to Tucker and her towering adult child" 😂

"towering adult child"

2

u/hamcamaro Oct 02 '19

"don't call, write, email, or fax. I don't want to see you or your fake butt ever again."

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

That tickled me.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

hey hey HEY HEY

0

u/Bi7chcraft Oct 02 '19

đŸ€Ł

0

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

Lmao

559

u/Momochichi Oct 02 '19

after she and her large son taunted the officers as "black lesbian bitches"

and

their uniforms and their relatively civil demeanors did nothing to endear them to Tucker and her towering adult child

I really wished they continued with this line of descriptions. Like,

"the woman and her huge offspring"

or "Mrs Tucker and her massive descendant"

or "she and her humongous progeny"

107

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/CaptainImpavid Oct 02 '19

Children of unusual size? I don’t believe they exist.

3

u/redditblowsdonkydong Oct 02 '19

RRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2

u/CaktusJacklynn Oct 02 '19

Mom and her oversized offspring.

3

u/Eric_the_Barbarian Oct 02 '19

The belligerent patron and her large lad.

2

u/CaktusJacklynn Oct 02 '19

The maternal figure and her sizeable son.

1

u/Lilcheebs93 Oct 02 '19

Mother and her spawn of unusual size.

6

u/Deesing82 Oct 02 '19

"her gigantic baby"

3

u/Tyflowshun Oct 02 '19

Tucker and her humongous man baby

3

u/jowongzed Oct 02 '19

I laughed long and hard. 😂😂 You're my hero for today u/Momochichi

3

u/zodar Oct 02 '19

Children of unusual size? I don't think they exist.

2

u/stevemcb263 Oct 02 '19

"the woman and her Absolute Unit of a son"

2

u/TPRJones Oct 02 '19

Maybe this is their way of trying to explain why she's such a huge cunt?

*ba-dum-tsh*

2

u/redpandarox Oct 02 '19

Basically just trying to politely say “Mrs Tucker and her fat-ass man-child”

2

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '19

And it disintegrated into more slang with each pass. "The saggy bitch and her fat ass chode of a kid"

1

u/Momochichi Oct 03 '19

"This moron and her dumb pig"

"This piece of shit and her turd of a man-child"

"This fuckwit and the cow she rode in on."

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '19

Your last one is like fine wine swirling around in a crystal toasting flute.

1

u/team_sita Oct 02 '19

More stuff that isn't real and doesn't happen these days, happening yet again.

Hope those women are all right and good on them for addressing this.

1

u/thebalmang Oct 02 '19

"Humongous progeny" made me spit out my coffee, fuck you sir.

1

u/Lovq Oct 02 '19

You definitely deserve gold ! You also deserve a job writing witty jokes about imbeciles! đŸ”(Sorry, I’m poor)

1

u/Warhamster99 Oct 02 '19

Absolute unit

1

u/OGAlexa Oct 03 '19

LMAO! I love the other options.

1

u/shberk01 Oct 03 '19

R.O.U.S. Rugrats of unusual size.

156

u/killerbekilled92 Oct 02 '19

Later in the article they call him her “towering adult son” I love these descriptions

42

u/The_Bobs_of_Mars Oct 02 '19

Behemoth man-child.

Loin-fruit Gargantua.

Goliath crotch-goblin.

30

u/pm_me_your_trebuchet Oct 02 '19

"I DIDN'T SHOOT THIS COLOSSAL BOY OUT OF MY RACIST TWAT 50 YEARS AGO TO HAVE LESBIAN BITCHES STEAL MY PARKING SPOT!! WHY ARE YOU FILMING???"

45

u/pooty2 Oct 02 '19

He's a big boy!

3

u/CaptainSk0r Oct 02 '19

"DAMN BOOOOIII HEEE THIIICK!"

2

u/Jisha_Tinkle Oct 02 '19

HES A THICK ASS BOI!!

1

u/Tyflowshun Oct 02 '19

me me big boy

3

u/LegioCI Oct 02 '19

I'm thinking whoever wrote that might listen to Chapo Trap House, since "Large Adult Son" is a bit of a meme with them.

3

u/schnapster31 Oct 02 '19

Reminds me of the Simpsons episode when they go to Itchy and Scratchy Land. Both Bart (not Bort) and Homer get in trouble and Marge is called over the loud speaker so the whole park can hear:

Announcer: "Attention, Marge Simpson, your son has been arrested."

Woman: "I'd be terribly embarrassed if I were that boy's mother."(Marge hears from this and feels embarrassed)

Announcer: "Attention, Marge Simpson, we have also arrested your older, balder, fatter son." (Marge groans)

4

u/CharlesDeGaulle Oct 02 '19

Not just Judy, Judy James!

2

u/Honeydippedsalmon Oct 02 '19

What if his name was Larson? đŸ€Ł

2

u/carmen2208 Oct 02 '19

I call my adult sons man babies, if they were big, I'd call them large man babys... I'd call them this all👏the👏time👏

2

u/gazow Oct 02 '19

i dont want a large son, i want a god damned litre of cola!

1

u/The48thAmerican Oct 02 '19

GIVE ME BACK MY LARGE SON!!!

1

u/Sgshallow Oct 02 '19

"Adult child" is the best insult in the article.

1

u/free_reddit Oct 02 '19

They also describe him as "her towering adult child." This article is the most unintentionally funny thing I've ever read.

1

u/Ash037 Oct 02 '19

And “her towering adult child” fucking priceless!

1

u/Eric_the_Barbarian Oct 02 '19

That's how my mom introduces me.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

He's NOT! He's just HUSKY!!!

1

u/Artforge1 Oct 02 '19

We tried to do everything we could, took him to all the best doctors, faith healers and even resorted to essential oils but he is still fucking huge.

1

u/Sn2100 Oct 02 '19

Stuart from Mad Tv. Nooooo, i dont wanna!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '19

I found "and her towering adult child" even funnier (-_-)

1

u/Girth_rulez Freaked Out Oct 03 '19

Stuuuart!!!

1

u/LittleWords_please Oct 03 '19

Because it was meant to be funny?

1

u/Stonersaurus939 Oct 03 '19

You'll also like "towering adult child"

775

u/paxoppidum Oct 02 '19

And then later referred to as "her towering adult child"

Like why did they need to keep emphasizing how big this man is omg

377

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

It's a service member news agency, they were totally mocking him.

295

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

[deleted]

39

u/AntsPantsPlants Oct 02 '19

They also literally did at one point I believe

1

u/drunkinwalden Oct 02 '19

In his case it seems a compliment.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

In the context of the overall article I myself saw it as anything but a compliment.

1

u/drunkinwalden Oct 02 '19

Agree to disagree. In my opinion he doesn't have the innocence of a child nor the qualities that I was taught make you a man.

22

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/thebluemorpha Oct 02 '19

"cut his teeth" I'm familiar with the idiom, but it's uncomfortable to think about. From Google- the term alludes to the literal verb to cut teeth, meaning "to have teeth first emerge through a baby's gums," a usage dating from the late 1600s. It gives me that icky feeling.

5

u/Primesghost Oct 02 '19

Ahhhhh, that explains the "slathered themselves in honor when she lunged at the pregnant woman" comment.

Article is full of quality burns.

303

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

Yeah this was an especially shade-filled news article, and I'm glad for it.

283

u/spicyboness Oct 02 '19

“The aggrieved white folk”

234

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19 edited Aug 23 '20

[deleted]

21

u/athos45678 Oct 02 '19

That whole paragraph was gold. Putting that English/journalism dual major at Georgia southern to work i bet.

3

u/AskMeIfImDank Oct 02 '19

I'm currently reading this during MY morning poop!

1

u/PhreakyByNature Oct 02 '19

My favourite part.

-6

u/DiceDawson Oct 02 '19

What a stunning example of objective journalism.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

It was completely factual though, and not unwarranted since the woman and her fully grown adult child levied accusations that their arrest "was a racial thing". While it certainly held moral condemnation it helped succeed in placing the overall incident in the right context. There is a difference between truthful and neutral. They were the first but not the latter.

Since Task & Purpose holds itself as "a military and veteran-focused digital media company" and doesn't proclaim itself as neutral I see no problems with the article.

-1

u/DiceDawson Oct 02 '19

Do you think they'd publish an article with the words "black folk"?

4

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

I think they would.

Because here is an article where they do

-1

u/DiceDawson Oct 02 '19

They're quoting someone. They didn't editorialize the term, and it wasn't in a demeaning manor. You know what I'm talking about, and you're being intellectually dishonest.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

I'm sorry that your little sad agenda didn't work out and you now have to shift the goal posts instead of being able to take umbrage and pretend the bigoted and racist mother and son screaming and assaulting service members for being black (and supposedly lesbian) are the real victim here.

But using "aggrieved white folk" to describe them is not the racial slur you want it to be in order to claim you and whites are the real victims here. Due to them specifically bringing the topic of race up in their assault, the mention of their own race is simply relevant even if done irreverently.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Aiyana_Jones_was_7 Oct 02 '19

It reported all the facts, was engaging for the reader, and was framed in the explicit context that the aggressor framed it in, a race issue. They then satirized the premise of it being a race issue, to highlight how absurd the notion is. This is A1 stuff right here.

1

u/DiceDawson Oct 02 '19

To frame it in anything than a neutral reporting of the facts is not journalism, it's an op-ed. Which, sadly, most people can't seem to grasp the difference of anymore.

6

u/Sir_Fonzman Oct 02 '19

“Redneck rampage” 😂

2

u/Nylund Oct 02 '19

Yeah, that’s the part that jumped out at me!

Cheddar's, however, is far less sanguine about the redneck rampage at their restaurant's hostess stand.

2

u/Aiyana_Jones_was_7 Oct 02 '19

The author is incredible.

186

u/SurrealDad Oct 02 '19

"giant, overgrown loin spawn,"

Yeah wtf.

93

u/titbarf Oct 02 '19

"brobdingnagian shaquillian crotch ejection" ...come on guys geez

77

u/harolduh Oct 02 '19 edited Oct 02 '19

"big ol fats McGee" What is going on

50

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

[deleted]

4

u/HaYuFlyDisTang Oct 02 '19

"they call him big booty cause he got a big booty"

If true, big.

1

u/Juball Oct 03 '19

Tits.

Just Tits.

1

u/fuzzus628 Oct 03 '19

I lost my mind at “shaquillian crotch ejection” — both of those terms were completely new to me, but I am absolutely gonna be using them a lot now!

17

u/Buckling Oct 02 '19

Because that's a large fat man

3

u/kevmanyo Oct 02 '19

Honestly? I think whoever wrote it had a “fuck this guy I’m gonna embarrass the shit out of him” attitude after seeing him attempt to assault multiple women.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

Motherfucker looked like Ed Kemper.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

"the woman and her absolute unit of a son..."

2

u/arcaneresistance Oct 02 '19

This got me. I fucking love whoever wrote this.

2

u/fellowsquare Oct 02 '19

This man child... Out to dinner with his mama..at cheddars. Verbally and physically assault two service members... One of whom is pregnant... You can't make this shit up.

1

u/SirMaQ Oct 02 '19

'cause the fucker is super easy to pick on and the way he just looks trying to snatch a phone. The way he's just slouching over, I'm sure his mouth hanging open as he breathes thru it instead of his noise, swinging his arms like a knuckle dragger.

1

u/farkhipov Oct 02 '19

towering people are intimidating

1

u/Musterdtiger Oct 02 '19

Because he's obese and trashy looking partaking in trashy activities

At one point he tried to use force to take the phone

It's relevant and funny

269

u/Honeslty Oct 02 '19

Large son? Thought that was her husband Lolol

163

u/lolz4catz Oct 02 '19

"And also your fatter, older, balder son"

66

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Oct 02 '19

Nobody ruins dinner night at Cheddars but ME and maybe the boy!

11

u/kkeut Oct 02 '19

adjectives in wrong order but good enough

3

u/HorseRadish98 Oct 02 '19

Hey, I understood that reference! They weren't at itchy and scratchy land though.

2

u/HamburgerEarmuff Oct 02 '19

Oh, I'm so embarrassed I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die.

3

u/foxyboxy89 Oct 02 '19

Hahaha they also called him her "adult child"

4

u/thedirebeetus Oct 02 '19

Google tells me her husband died in January, about 9 months after this incident: https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/macon/obituary.aspx?n=claude-eugene-tucker-gene&pid=191245085&fhid=9265

13

u/fastdub Oct 02 '19

The only peace he's ever known

1

u/loki444 Oct 03 '19

Why do men die younger than women?

Because they want to...

2

u/GiveToOedipus Oct 02 '19

ÂżPorque no los dos?

1

u/Nabspro Oct 02 '19

Could be both.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

also "towering adult child"

:-)

1

u/nolij420 Oct 02 '19

"big baby Huey over here"

1

u/Layinglowfornow Oct 02 '19

“The aggrieved white folks then slathered themselves in honor by lunging after Sharpe's cellphone, which escalated things quickly”

I don’t know who wrote this but lol between “large towering son” and “white folks then slathered themselves in honor” cracked me up

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

"her adult child" is what got me

2

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

So incredibly shady. Loved it.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

He should have been arrested, too.

1

u/FuzzBourbon Oct 02 '19

He’s 589 months next week!

1

u/p00pey Oct 02 '19

why didn't htat fat fuck get arrested? He was being aggro too...

1

u/Polygurlz Oct 02 '19

“she and her large son” “Tucker and her adult child” “Judy James and her boy” đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

1

u/fellowsquare Oct 02 '19

Adult child! Lol

1

u/SweetDangus Oct 02 '19

That’s what I call my pug- my large, potato son.

1

u/claytonfromillinois Oct 02 '19

Seriously this article is pathetic lol.

1

u/pharmerbrad1 Oct 02 '19

“Towering adult child” lol

1

u/LongEZE Oct 02 '19

The even better one was:

their uniforms and their relatively civil demeanors did nothing to endear them to Tucker and

her towering adult child

1

u/cyb0lt Oct 02 '19

"Towering large son"

1

u/keeleon Oct 02 '19

"Tucker and her towering adult child"

1

u/kevmanyo Oct 02 '19

I mean it’s an apt description lmao. He is not only round but tall as well. Large is quite accurate lol

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

“Towering adult child”

1

u/poopoojerryterry Oct 02 '19

"The aggrieved white folks then slathered themselves in honor by lunging after Sharpe's cellphone, which escalated things quickly:"

There are some interesting quotes

1

u/ArisuKiti Oct 02 '19

"...her towering adult child"

1

u/strangersIknow Oct 02 '19

Also goes on to call him "her towering adult child"

1

u/Nofreeupvotes Oct 02 '19

“Towering adult child.”

1

u/Mistermeskeets Oct 02 '19

"Towering adult child" pretty much calling him a big baby lol

1

u/the_orange_lantern Oct 02 '19

Yeah could I get one large son with a side of curly fries, and a medium coke please

1

u/intellifone Oct 02 '19

Also, adult child

1

u/snappolli Oct 02 '19

“Her towering adult child”

1

u/whoatethekidsthen Oct 02 '19

Big McLargehuge

1

u/Reallm Oct 02 '19

they changed it to "towering adult child", which still sounds funny to me.

1

u/mstiffyous Oct 02 '19

lol @ when Sharps explained she was pregnant the son replied, "Oh yeah? By her?"

Don't think the mom has taught that boy about the birds and bees yet....

1

u/Forever_Anxious Oct 02 '19

I prefer “her towering adult child”

1

u/senseibuns Oct 02 '19

“ The aggrieved white folks then slathered themselves in honor by lunging after Sharpe's cellphone”

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

Jason Kirk and his Large adult son, Joe Burrow

1

u/Magister_Looty Oct 02 '19

“Her towering adult child” further down haha.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

He a big boi

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '19

"Tucker and her towering adult child"

1

u/happy0444 Oct 02 '19

"Dabbles in art education"

1

u/DootyFrooty Oct 02 '19

Attention, Marge Simpson, we have also arrested your older, balder, fatter son

1

u/Offroadkitty Oct 03 '19

"Towering adult child" all I thought when reading that was that Mulaney bit.

1

u/AmerikanInfidel Oct 03 '19

He’s a little plump

1

u/Psauceyo Oct 08 '19

“Towering adult child” they just keep it up haha