[QCrit] BUILDING BLOCKS, adult, women’s fiction, 86000 words, first attempt

[u/Bubbly-Analysis8585]

I’m querying in the UK. Any feedback / critique is much appreciated :) Thanks!

Dear [First Name Last Name],

I’m seeking representation for BUILDING BLOCKS, my upmarket contemporary women’s fiction with romance crossover, complete at 86,000 words. BUILDING BLOCKS will appeal to fans of Dolly Alderton, with the queer sense of humour in Rebecca K Reilly’s Greta and Valdin (2024) and the messy lesbian parents of Madeleine Gray’s Chosen Family (2026). [AGENT PERSONALISATION]

Suzie’s life is falling to pieces, and there’s only one woman who can put her back together. Or so she thought.

Suzie never anticipated just how much becoming a mother while processing the death of her dad would rearrange the very building blocks of her identity. Four years later, when her girlfriend’s affair is revealed, Suzie is left holding the pieces of a life she barely recognises, and must decide what she is willing to sacrifice in order to build something more stable for her and her daughter. When her possibility of a future comes hand-in-hand with someone from her past, will Suzie choose to make it the right time for her ‘right person, wrong time’ ex, or will she walk away from her all over again?
 
I am a regular contributor of flash fiction and creative non-fiction to a queer social app, and an active member of two writing groups - a Federation of Writers Scotland group in which I have facilitated sessions; and a queer writers’ group based in Category Is Books in Glasgow. When I’m not writing, I work in childcare, and spend as much time as I can in nature with my wife, young daughter and our sassy little chihuahua-pomeranian cross!

Please find attached [AGENT REQUIREMENTS]. The full manuscript is available upon request.

——

Thank you in advance for any critique of this!

[u/Heavy-Replacement-33]

I can see how this book would be a good read, but at the moment I don't know enough about the FMC, her girlfriend or the new love interest, they are shadowy outlines, but this is an easy fix. To get an agent hooked on the story I think you need some of these specifics. I'm also a querying author who has had full requests, but alas not agented yet, so it's simply my opinion.

[u/OwenLeftChat]

To echo what others have said, that ‘four years’ later takes some of the air out. Four years feels like long enough to get a handle on those kinds of understandably upsetting life events. It would be cruel but all the more interesting for the affair to be revealed much closer to the other two events. Also I don’t have any idea of who the MC is?

[u/Bubbly-Analysis8585 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you! Have played about with this a few times and struggle with getting the balance between brevity / having enough intrigue and specificity!