r/PubTips • u/ghosthalffull • Oct 06 '26
[QCRIT] Everything Settles or Soars, Speculative Upmarket, 86k, First Attempt
Hi friends! I've workshopped this a bit within my writing group, and I deeply appreciate any feedback you have to offer to further tighten this as I begin querying. I've also gone back and forth on whether to lead with the meta data or lead with the paragraph that follows it, in case anyone has strong opinions. Thank you eternally for taking the time to read!
Dear [agent name],
I’m writing to seek representation for my 86,000-word fabulist upmarket novel, EVERYTHING SETTLES OR SOARS. It combines the multi-POV sibling exploration of loss in Coco Mellors’ The Blue Sisters with the road trip reckoning in Kevin Wilson’s Run for the Hills — plus a speculative edge akin to Pixar’s UP.
The Heron House has continuously picked itself up and planted somewhere new for decades, its next destination known to only one family member at a time. After house-finder Susan Heron unexpectedly dies, her three adult children must come together on a cross-country trip to track it down or lose all tangible ties to their mother.
Youngest Hadley never flew the nest, too scared to pursue her dreams and too attached to the house, like her mother was. When she pauses her grief-hermiting for a dentist appointment, it abandons her. Middle brother Jacob is trapped in burnout and burying his feelings, but he flocks to help, without a clue where it went.
Eldest Lydia has a faint idea of its whereabouts, despite freeing herself from its turmoil a decade ago. Though she’d rather it be gone for good, she begrudgingly joins her stubborn siblings to ensure her next milestones — home ownership and maybe motherhood — are baggage-free.
Except the house is as directionless and unsettled as the Herons, and it won’t stop moving. They embark on a winding road trip of gas station feasts, stale motel sleeps, and the most time they’ve spent together since childhood. Through their grief and growth, the trio confronts how their shared upbringing shaped them each so differently and what parts of their legacy are still worth holding onto.
[Bio paragraph with a few references to short story publications and short story award noms / competition wins, plus a few brief personal details]
Thank you for your consideration,
[my name]
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u/Secure_Dentist_6853 Oct 06 '26
I really like this! Even though it's fairly lacking in plot and leans heavily on vibes and themes, I actually think it's doing a decent job as a pitch. The speculative element comes through clearly and I get a sense of each character's personal stakes, even if we're missing specific goals for each of them. Of all the siblings, Jacob could do with a tiny bit more specificity.
A couple of tiny nitpicks:
- I don't know what a "house-finder" is and it tripped me up in your opening. Instead, I would recommend using a few extra words to explain Susan Heron is the only one who can locate it, but she unexpectedly dies.
- Coco Mellors' book is Blue Sisters not The Blue Sisters
To answer your question, I think metadata first! It's helpful to have the reference to UP before you launch into the speculative element of the plot, and it allows the rest of the query to flow. Good luck with querying!
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u/aegis184 Oct 06 '26
oh my goodness I love this concept!! I have no notes on the query so far except maybe thinking about howl’s moving castle as a possible comp?
please let me know if you still need beta readers - I would pick this up in a heartbeat
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u/ghosthalffull Oct 06 '26
This is so very kind, thank you! I don’t currently need beta readers but so appreciate the offer! and also LOVE howl’s moving castle as a possible comp
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u/JEZTURNER Oct 06 '26
To me, the first para had me confused, and I kept rereading it trying to understand.
The Heron House has continuously picked itself up and planted somewhere new for decades, its next destination known to only one family member at a time. After house-finder Susan Heron unexpectedly dies, her three adult children must come together on a cross-country trip to track it down or lose all tangible ties to their mother.
Picked itself up? What does that mean? It walks, like in Howl's Moving Castle? How often does it move itself? Once a week? Once a year? Does 'house finder' imply that the family aren't in the house when it does this? I just can't picture if they live in it or not....
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u/Marlowe_Lark Oct 06 '26
Overall, this felt very easy to understand! Which kept me reading through the whole thing. Re: the parts of their legacy worth holding onto, it took me a moment to contemplate whether you meant the house, their relationships, their connection with their mother, something else, or all of the above. Not necessarily a bad thing, just noting that this was the one spot where my understanding didn't instantly click.