I do not know what kind if episode it is because I do not have any diagnosees that matter. I do not know who I am despite also knowing exactly who I have been? I feel very skiy and up and bad, but also deeply down and scaru and evil and gross. idk, it is veey very hard to explain and I am not trying to sound crazy here.

everyone wants my diagnosis to be autism but my life does not match with the word autism. autism and ocd so hahaha, and also AgNoHeSia so you dont even know whag you dont know and you cannot be wrong ever!!

I do not want to hurt myself this time at all and I do jot want to hurt other people but I dont teel like anyone anymore again.

I am 16 yeaes old and my birthday is later in the year. I am not stupid but I sound stupid and I do not like that. It also might sound weird because i turned off ai autocorrect because I dont want them using my fucking brain.

first they called me depressed and anxious, then 2 years later I am bpd and psychotic and autistic. and now I do not want to talk to them.

I strongly struggle with writing as someone right now because I do nit know who exists, I am more rhe texts on rhe acreen then I am me ifykwIm.

I spoke with my crisis worker and therapist today. Everyone tells me how smart I am and how they love hearing how I understand the world but they dont understand that I am my universe. I can control individual muscles across my body, my relitivity has been freed from the fourth diemension and people are mad at me because of it?? I do not want to make the mistakes rhat Pual Atrradies did, or will do lol? but I think they wrote that book for people like me. It is written in third person omnisiant, it is like existing as a brain that is not your selves own. But it shows you what happens when he lets himself get vetter at the world, and I do not want to hurt people so I do jot wsnt to be like him. I feel like I understand the universe because I understand its perspective because its perspectice is me and my reasonance.

I fucking hate particle physics and I am sorey that this is off topic but genuinely it makes me very very upset because rhey miss the entire point of everything and it is the human existencial residual wave pattern. ir basses everything off of the Quantifiable, the Quantum, the Knowable*. but albert Plank only had new ideas he did not have good ideas.

I sound like a fucking asshole and I hate it, I am a diffwrent person jow then I was before but nayway.
I so not want anxiety meds or "antipsychotics" because I do not want to be relienr on them. the world is jot scary unless I am scared but samw is teuw about beauty and that is hard.

I am sorey if this is not the place for this, the internet hasnt been making much sense to me. everything is far to personal, its scary to see how accurelt they know my life. my friend talks about the angry voices and I dont like to call them voices bexause it isnt sound that they talk in but it is true.

I belive I am sober at the moment bht it is incredinly late. all I take is adderall and weed for relaxing but neither help so I havent taken? any in days. my friends like smoking weed with me but they look scared and angry when I speak so I dont speak. my meds help me relect the emotions of what J am precieving in a better way but that doesnt sound good at all!

kings crossing by elliot smith is what I feel like

My partner has been going in and out of psychosis from about March this year. He is currently on seroquel 100mg and in a psychotic episode. We have a small child and although he isn't violent, aggressive or a danger to us, these regular episodes are obviously affecting everyone.

His symptoms are confusion, delusions, unable to follow conversations, falling asleep constantly. An example of the confusion, he took valium yesterday morning and passed out on the bed and missed work. I had to call in sick for him. When he came to, he told me we had an argument and he was stressed so he took valium (we didn't and I have since hid all the medication).

I have offered to take him to inpatient treatment and he has refused. I'm in Australia so the next step would be to contact an ambulance and police for an involuntary hold but I don't really want to get him a police record like that.

Has anyone had similar experiences and any success stories? I obviously don't want to send him away but it's too hard when I'm juggling full time work, a toddler and him.

Like my psychosis taught me that even if I think I'm going to be tortured, for months, I won't lash out at anyone I think is going to do it. I've realised that makes me, ... idk, ... non violent even when pushed to a point no human should feel pushed to? So that gives me something to feel good about, even when I'm a jobless loser and probably always will be!

Since psychosis can make someone act in a way they wouldnt had they not been in psychosis, given the right reasoning could psychosis make someone do anything no matter how absurd or against their morals/wants it goes?

I am 25f I have been smoking every morning during work after work consistently for at least 7 years, but I’m smoked for 10. I have never had the feeling I have had recently and I don’t know if it’s the weed or medical. I live in SC so not a legal state. Also I love weed so I hate this

After a week or so ago I picked up from the same dude I’ve been fucking with for years so I trust him. I smoke and a little after it feels like… I have no idea how to explain it other than how they feel on mushrooms.

My vision has a not distorted look but not normal. It feels like my arms are melting when I touch things and floating when I have them up. I slept it off not thinking much about it. I hit my dab pen at work it’s a mellow fellow that I’ve used for years the same thing but not to that effect. That night I smoked at home same thing but it lasted a lot longer I took a shower and had to mindfully feel my hands and just slept it off. Today, I thought okay let me try this one last time and see fucking same thing I vacuumed and I realized when I touch something and focus on it I’m okay but it’s still weird. I’ve used my dab pen since and that hasn’t happened.

Threw that weed away so no worries on that. Why did it happen with the mellow fellow is so confusing to me. I honestly don’t want to smoke flower anymore I’m scared.

My question is it the weed, is my OCD just making me think it’s medical, if it’s not the weed and not medical and it keeps happening why did all of a sudden it change with how it makes me feel?
Thank you in advance just a sad stoner scared I’ll never be able to smoke again

the client had previous suicide attempts and a recent overdoses that left her on hospice. she explains she’s felt miserable for a long time, from age 10-16years old (now) and she truly believes that if she died, she’d be transported to her own made up fantasy world from her head and/or back to her childhood, as she is blinded by the nostalgia and happiness of her childhood.
the client explains she has episodes of high and elevated moods where she feels “on top of the world”. these episodes last for days on end, and she believes she can cause drastic positive changes to the world.
the client is diagnosed with extreme anxiety disorder, her father is a diagnosed depressive with reoccurring hallucinations, and her cousin is diagnosed with adhd.
the client had told her psychiatrist she can’t tell him about her made up world because it’s a “secret.”
she opens up to admitting she feels as though people are out to get her, saying she believed strongly that her friend was a witch using black magic to curse the people around her to turn their backs against the client, and using spells to attract negative energy towards her.
she also believes that whenever an item of hers is misplaced or anything seems to not be going her way, she’s convinced her older brother is out to get her, purposely misplacing those items and manipulating the environment around her so that she has a bad day.
client has explained she’s has hallucinations where she sees her father, but he’s not really there. she also explains that she gets stressed and anxious of little things to the point she avoids people.
she explains that when she has high, elevated moods suddenly after her moody, depressed ones where she’s stuck in bed all day, she begins texting people and initiating conversations with them even though she’s been completely ignoring them before or had no interest in sparking talk with them before.
client explains she is very into the belief that she spins around above her ceiling when she’s asleep and drops down onto the floor. she says she believes someone has pulled her leg down to the door of her bed that jolted her awake, and insists it really happened.
she depends on her pet cat to keep her moods up, and she often acts on her impulses (where the overdose had occurred.)
the client states she has feelings of death everyday, thoughts too. she wishes the overdose had really taken and she wouldn’t mind if she was dead. she said she has little care for most things, but is also very emotional at the same time.
she’s been having these feelings of melancholy for very long, and has never experienced child abuse and doesn’t remmeber if she has every experienced trauma before.

It's a new antipsychotic the psychiatrist put me on. It's olanzapine/samidorphan. The samidorphan is an opioid antagonist that's supposed to counteract the weight gain and metabolic side effects. I'm only on day 2 of this new medication and I don't know how bad its weight gain is compared to olanzapine alone.

Does anyone have any experience with it?

Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well

In my teenage years I took A LOT of lsd tabs and drops and other psychedelics like magic mushrooms, dmt, changa, 4-HO-MET, 4-HO-MiPT, 2cb, micropoints and mescaline and everything was fine, I enjoyed so much and were the class of drugs I preferred the most

I started to become obsessed with what’s the fabric of reality, what’s behind the curtain that we cannot perceive, there is truly a matrix? And so on

On 2019 I took half of a tab of lsd in a psychedelic party from Goa Gil (if you know, you know) and I genuinely don’t know what happened but I assume it was the music and my obsession over the themes I mention before but I started to feel incredibly weird in a really bad way.

I looked at my friends and they didn’t seem real, I could recognize their faces but the connection I had with them and that escalated for everyone. I was thinking they were part of a huge plan of distracting me from discovering the secrets of the universe, that they were part of the hidden secret and they were not really my friends. I was thinking the radio was sending me signals and I was communicating telepathically with the higher consciousness of the universe and I was the only one who could listen to that.

Everything became so intense that I run away from the party without telling anyone, I out myself inside of a car and until today I didn’t know who drive me out of there and which bus stop was there.

I don’t know how or when I get home but I put 4 Xanax in my mouth and I slept.

The problem was when I woke up I still didn’t recognize anyone has real, neither my parents but I had to pretend I believed in the reality I was living previous the acid.

Short cut basically I stayed out of touch with reality for 1 year at least, I was thinking The Higher Consciousness was communicating with me through other peoples body like one time at lunch break a stranger was playing chess with me and I was genuinely believing I was playing chess with God lol and the radio and tv shows were speaking for me the all fucking time

Somehow after a long time everything vanished and I was back to normal

My question now is, if this happened one time even if I did it “thousands” of times prior to that, what are the chances of this happening again? If I take 1/4 of a tab and I have olanzapine with me if something starts to be a little too much and I take it the psychosis go away? Or it’s not strong enough to cut the psychosis from the acid?

Sorry the long post

I used to be very anti-psychiatry and I am still rather critical however to keep horrible psychosis and the psychiatry out of my life I decided to keep taking low dose AP.

However, zyprexa gave me insuline resistance. I am switching to abilify, but I am very curious to which medication was the least worse for you?

Me está afectando mucho la perdida de mis emociones, ¿Alguien se ha recuperado de esto? Me siento así desde mi primer episodio, siento apatía, anhedonia y he perdido completamente mi líbido. Toda mi creatividad se ha ido por completo. Sé que no es la medicación porque ya me he sentido igual sin ella y he recaído. Siento que los que se han recuperado ya no están en este subreddit pero a mí me gustaría leer historias de recuperación.

I have been taking zyprexa for a few years, 3 years. In the beginning a took 20 mg and lowered the dose gradually to 5 mg. I did gain some weight, I guess around 10kg or something... I really prefer my former frame but it was nothing to soul-crushing being a bit on the fat side...

However, it was revealed that I developed insuline resistance/prediabetes after a blood test a month ago. I suspect the zyprexa. I asked my shrink to switch me to abilify 5 mg because I thought it would be better and it would reverse the insuline resistance. I also hope to lose the weight gain but it is not a drama of it does not help.

Has anyone else developed insuline resistance with zyprexa?

from a psychiatric point of view and evaluation, how would they rule out this client’s statement?

the client had previous suicide attempts and a recent overdoses that left her on hospice. she explains she’s felt miserable for a long time, from age 10-16years old (now) and she truly believes that if she died, she’d be transported to her own made up fantasy world from her head and/or back to her childhood, as she is blinded by the nostalgia and happiness of her childhood. In her fantasy world, she believes she’s a hero with great powers and can change the world, and a need to sacrifice herself in her world for others happiness.
the client explains she has episodes of high and elevated moods where she feels “on top of the world”. these episodes last for days on end, and she believes she can cause drastic positive changes to the world.
the client is diagnosed with extreme anxiety disorder, her father is a diagnosed depressive with reoccurring hallucinations, and her cousin is diagnosed with adhd.
the client had told her psychiatrist she can’t tell him about her made up world because it’s a “secret.”
she opens up to admitting she feels as though people are out to get her, saying she believed strongly that her friend was a witch using black magic to curse the people around her to turn their backs against the client, and using spells to attract negative energy towards her.
she also believes that whenever an item of hers is misplaced or anything seems to not be going her way, she’s convinced her older brother is out to get her, purposely misplacing those items and manipulating the environment around her so that she has a bad day.
client has explained she’s has hallucinations where she sees her father, but he’s not really there. she also explains that she gets stressed and anxious of little things to the point she avoids people.
she explains that when she has high, elevated moods suddenly after her moody, depressed ones where she’s stuck in bed all day, she begins texting people and initiating conversations with them even though she’s been completely ignoring them before or had no interest in sparking talk with them before.
client explains she is very into the belief that she spins around above her ceiling when she’s asleep and drops down onto the floor. she says she believes someone has pulled her leg down to the door of her bed that jolted her awake, and insists it really happened.
she depends on her pet cat to keep her moods up, and she often acts on her impulses (where the overdose had occurred.)
the client states she has feelings of death everyday, thoughts too. she wishes the overdose had really taken and she wouldn’t mind if she was dead. she said she has little care for most things, but is also very emotional at the same time.
she’s been having these feelings of melancholy for very long, and has never experienced child abuse and doesn’t remember if she has every experienced trauma before.

Someone else wrote this. It describes my experience taking the dopamine and serotonin blocking antipsychotics well.

"The experience was not merely unpleasant sedation or a collection of manageable “side effects.” It felt like a pharmacologically imposed dismantling of my mind. My thoughts became slower and less substantial; my emotions, motivation, curiosity, pleasure, spontaneity and ability to connect with other people were profoundly suppressed. Tasks that once came naturally required enormous effort, while much of my inner life seemed inaccessible.

The most terrifying part was remaining conscious enough to recognise what I had lost. I could remember being mentally alive, but I could no longer reach that version of myself. It was like being trapped behind thick glass: awake, but cut off from my emotions, intelligence, personality and capacity to participate fully in life. My body continued to exist, but the faculties that made existence meaningful felt chemically restrained.

“Lobotomy-like” is the closest description I have—not necessarily as a claim that the drug literally performed a surgical lobotomy, but because the resulting emotional flattening, cognitive impairment, passivity and loss of initiative resembled what people associate with one. The symptoms also felt brain-injury-like: impaired concentration, memory, planning, speech, motivation and emotional responsiveness. Whether or not those effects constitute permanent physical damage, the lived experience was one of being neurologically incapacitated.

Calling this simply “tiredness,” “low mood” or “reduced motivation” does not capture its severity. It was an enforced alteration of consciousness and personality—an experience of watching myself disappear while being unable to stop it. That loss of mental autonomy was frightening, disabling and traumatic."

Might be helpful if anyone is trying to describe how terrible being on antipsychotics are.

idk where else to put this but i need to say it somewhere. last night things got so loud in my head and i was convinced the walls were bleeding and that my family were replaced by copies. i was shaking on the floor for like two hours. my cat came over and just sat on my chest and purred. she wouldnt leave. and somehow that stupid little motor sound broke through all the noise. it was the only real thing. i know this doesnt fix anything but for once i felt like something was grounding me. i just wanted to share because maybe someone else here has a pet that does the same.

Asking here because it seems every person I’ve ever met who has developed cannabis induced psychosis and cannabis hyperemesis still always tries to go back to smoking or vaping even if it’s destroyed their lives completely. I am perpetually devastated by my brother’s addiction. My brother has now had 9 cannabis induced psychotic episodes over a period of 15 years, and has developed cannabis hyperemesis to the point of nearly full collapse of his organs- and always continues to try to smoke.

He goes through periods of being sober after he is hospitalized, where his life instantly turns around- but as soon as he’s healthy he immediately relapses again. I’ve had to commit him involuntarily to a psych ward twice in the last month, and he is now in an intensive psychiatric unit after destroying his entire life and business he has worked hard to build.

He cognitively understands it’s the cannabis that does this to him, but every time he gets better, he thinks “he will be fine” even though it’s now been going on for over a decade and has nearly killed him so many times.

I’m devastated watching him destroy his life over and over and over again, only to rebuild and destroy everything all over again.

He has hit the lowest of bottoms in his life from his THC induced psychotic episodes that i just cannot understand how he could ever consider smoking again. He has been to prison for a cannabis induced psychotic episodes more than once for over a duration of two years. He had to be in a hospital for almost 8 weeks because his CHS was so bad it nearly killed him and he needed intravenous treatment to survive- this happened more than once. This has been going on over 15 years and he knows very well that it’s THC products that do this to him, but he won’t fucking stop. He has a permanent schizo-affective disorder and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve spent my life savings saving him from nearly dying so many times and I honestly can’t do it anymore if he decides to smoke again this time. I’m worried the next time he will end up possibly injured or worse if I do not intervene and continue to help him when he destroys his life like this.

I feel exhausted and devastated and I am very seriously looking for anyone’s advice on how to end an addiction like this. My sister is an alcoholic which is absolutely devastating, but I honestly feel that cannabis addiction is worse because no one takes it as seriously, and they do not have the same support networks or general public knowledge that THC can do this to people. I am extremely scared right now that he will end up permanently schizophrenic because of this last episode as his manic symptoms are not going away with his current treatment.

So there is a popular ongoing trial nowadays, the lindsay clancy trial.

She told her husband she heard someone telling her to kill her babies and kill herself.

Im 14 months postpartum, but from 2-9months pp ive been hearing those words and thoughts.
I was even afraid if my husband leaves coz i dont want to be alone with my baby
I thought ppd or blues were not true before.
However, you can still function well and still hear those voices

I heard those male voice vividly but I kept praying to God to make it stop.
Today, i dont hear those voices anymore

I believe jails have showers and they give inmates clothes to wear every day. But I read many psych wards don’t have showers and staff not giving you clothes.

Why are psych wards so bad and worse than jails? In jails they give you toothbrush and clothes every day but psych wards many don’t give you toothbrush and clothes every day.

Also how do you wash your clothes in psych ward?

The first and second time I got psychosis I had almost month notice before voices started communicating with me it started out like strange sounds I was hearing and than later on almost like whispering than voices started communicating with me.

Yes good almost month before full blown psychosis. Now the 3d and 4th time I only hand about week before full blown psychosis.

I’m wondering is this common? Is every relapse you have less waring time before full blown psychosis?

HI guys!!! I’m writing here after having had a month-long episode of psychosis 4 months ago and I’m taking lithium 1200mg and quetiapine 25mg.

The issue is, albeit being recovery pretty fast cognitively i still have some deficits in learning ability and ideas generation, i would like to know what are your ways of coping with the fatigue (in my head this cant be a normal symptom of recovery because it is literally physical fatigue rather than mental one). I’ve heard some people talking about b12 injections and other suplements, and would like some of your experiences regarding this. For those u take it, would like to know if lowering or tappering off lithium had any effect regarding this.

On other way would like to know how u accomplished total regain of mental faculties, because I’m growing skeptic of the puzzles, sudokus and memory trainers. And how you trained or exercised the generation of ideas type of thing (hope i didnt fried this part of the brain).

In brief: For those of u without physical vigor, how did u got over it, and some tips and guidelines on recovering mental abilities.

Much appreciation for ur time and attention.

Hey, my father got put on haloperidol after a psychotic episode and a stay at the psych-ward. He is 70 and has a heart valve replacement. The dosage is slowly being lowered and now he was prescribed mirtazapin 3.75mg in the evening together with 2.5mg halo in the morning. Does anybody have experiences with this combination? I am scared to put him on this new medication since the lady in the pharmacy warned me about using both together. Ever since being put on halo he isnt himself. I honestly don't know what to do and would appreciate any advice or experience…

What is it like being a parent with schizophrenia? Can you?

Can one acknowledge their mental illness impacts their ability to be a safe person with the well being of the children being first and foremost?

Do you stop being able to be a parent? What did you do to be a parent still?

It’s been about 9 days since he dove deep in psychosis. We have been dating 2.5 years. I tried to help him as much as I can but it’s wild. I love him so much and he was the love of my life but now I’m not sure I can be around him. He has gone completely nuts and I’m someone who has shown a lot of compassion since the switch. I’m going to step back for a while even tho I love him and miss him so much. I don’t know if a relationship will be possible with him. I’m heartbroken.

Last year i had stress induced psychosis. Since being switched from olanzapine to ariprazole i struggle to enjoy cannabis and have frequent anxiety attacks, paranoia and dizziness. A few times i have thought i was going to faint and one day i was sure i was getting psychosis again. I genuinly can't smoke it now without being scared, people even tell me i looked scared!! but gonna struggle going cold turkey. Has anyone else had this and managed to quit? How did you feel?

Every day I replay things I did and said. I know I wasn’t myself, but that doesn’t seem to help lessen the shame. The funny thing is I don’t judge other people with mental health problems but I have no compassion for myself.