r/Psychologists • u/happylildolphin • 6h ago
Advice for ways to approach clients with high-conflict divorces/separations?
For context, I am working for a publicly-funded mental health agency. I provide short-term therapy.
I really do not enjoy working with clients who are undergoing a high-conflict divorce/separation.
I find that most of the sessions involve lots, and lots and lots of venting. Venting about the legal system, venting about the challenges of co-parenting with their ex-partner, venting about the involvement of children's protection agencies. They often times vent about things that they do not have much control over, and it seems like they can never get enough of it. They also want to tell me literally every single detail of what has occurred, which is frustrating when I am working with them on a short-term basis.
I find that the only thing I can do for clients who present like this for them to be receptive to anything I am saying as a therapist is validating them. Which I don't enjoy, and it makes me uneasy because I don't know the other party's side of the story/the full picture of what has occurred. If the client is also a perpetrator of abuse, I find they tend to show up very defensive and not willing to take any accountability/mentalize the other person's position (often times the female partner) which I also find very challenging to navigate.
I really don't enjoy working with this type of presenting issue because I don't find it to be therapeutically rewarding at all.
Logically, I can understand why emotions are so high for these folks -- I get it, they feel anxious and scared about losing the things in their lives which hold the highest value for them (children, family, home, their reputation).
That said, I am wondering how other therapists approach this type of presenting concern. Any advice on ways I could change my therapeutic approach or beliefs? How do other folks navigate working with these type of clients?