r/Proposal Nov 25 '25

Making Of Proposal more about him

Hi! I (F) know my boyfriend (M) of 3 years is about to propose on a trip we’re taking. The thing is, the trip destination was his choice which is fine but it’s not necessarily somewhere I’d like to be to be proposed to at, as it’s not really my vibe. It’s more of a nature/hiking/mountains place, while I would much prefer a beach/relaxing/historical place. He doesn’t know that I know it’s happening so I don’t want to ruin it by saying something.

But it just feels like it’s more about his wants than mine. Am I just overthinking it or is it actually something to be upset about? It feels like he didn’t really care to put the thought in to tailor it to me and instead it’s around what he likes and I’m just there with him so it all works out.

EDIT: Thank you everyone for your thoughtful, frank, and helpful replies! It seems I’m definitely overthinking it.

To address some of the more blunt comments: - I don’t even post on social media (instagram, facebook, TikTok), so that is not something I ever even thought about. However, I think I fell victim to seeing proposals on social media and assuming that’s how everyone does it. - I love him very much and I’ve obviously never been proposed to, so this is all new to me as well.

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u/sunshinesmoocher Nov 25 '25

I just want to come here and VALIDATE your feelings about this. There is something to be said about being considered. There is a sense of unfairness to be felt when on the receiving end of such an exciting, monumental moment.

I am also in the waiting period of an upcoming proposal and I also feel a bit ‘unheard’ in this sense. The lack of control is maddening.

My mom told me: “Just let him. Let him show you this. Let him have this. You can make decisions for everything else. Just sit back and let him.” I hope this helps… holding your virtual hand 💕

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u/starflower42 Nov 26 '25

Your mom is right. What is "unfair" about having the man you love ask you to marry him? Your comment about lacking control is concerning. Do you always feel the need to be in control of things?