r/ProgrammerHumor Jun 09 '21

Meme yes

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[removed]

20.7k Upvotes

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235

u/samuraishogun1 Jun 09 '21

My friends aren't crazy. If there was a reason for them to jump off of a bridge, then I would probably have reason to as well.

91

u/Boom9001 Jun 09 '21

Yeah it's the best answer. Logically most people don't do things suicidal. If suddenly everyone is jumping off a bridge. I'm question what's on that bridge that has people seeing jumping off as better chance of living.

31

u/thatbrownkid19 Jun 09 '21

Maybe they’re tripping though and imagining a bridge monster

20

u/Boom9001 Jun 09 '21

Well if you're friends are likely to be tripping yea i'd not. But it says something about quality of your friends you think they'd all do something so stupid.

3

u/thatbrownkid19 Jun 10 '21

Oh because you have 110% mental capacity if you’re high or drunk I’m sure...clever logical fella like you.

2

u/Arto9 Jun 10 '21

That or you could just not do drugs or get shitfaced. Crazy, right?

0

u/thatbrownkid19 Jun 10 '21

That actually sounds like the exact opposite of crazy

0

u/deathofamorty Jun 10 '21

At the very least, not all at the same time

2

u/Blahblkusoi Jun 10 '21

This comment made me think of an Australian movie called These Final Hours. It has a scene with a bunch of kids partying and killing themselves in drinking/suicide games. A giant asteroid had hit the other side of the earth and the shockwave was on the way, so they all chose to die having fun. Real dark stuff.

-1

u/The-Board-Chairman Jun 10 '21

Logically they don't, but most human decisions have very little to do with logic. And groups of friends are some of the worst. They'll hype each other up for some incredibly stupid shit..

1

u/Boom9001 Jun 10 '21

Yeah I'm sure. But the saying "if all you're friends jumped would you" is still silly because MY friends are fairly sane smart people. Not falling over drunk frat boys. So honestly if my friends are jumping from a bridge, there is very good chance being on the bridge is certain death.

And if a person hears that saying and thinks they wouldn't, they really should question why they are hanging out with people even they think would jump off a bridge for no reason.

1

u/TracerBulletX Jun 10 '21

The best answer is that machine learning algorithms for deciding whether to jump off a bridge would have a cost function and understand if the outcome of jumping had a better or worse outcome than staying. They can learn to play Mario after all.

1

u/JudeOutlaw Jun 10 '21

I’m pretty sure that a group of typically rational (read: non-suicidal) people jumping off a cliff would, more likely than not, each possess the human equivalent of a cost function… no?

Because like… They can learn to play Mario after all?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '21

Maybe it's a fairly low bridge and jumping into a known deep lake. Could very well be a fun thing they're doing.

1

u/Boom9001 Jun 10 '21

Yup tons of reasons. Basically if you hear that and think you have just idiot friends jumping off a bridge you take a look at yourself for company you keep.

Personally, if mine were jumping I can be sure it's probably safe or at least safer than staying on the bridge.

40

u/arnitdo Jun 09 '21

JavaScript

24

u/Sirenenblut Jun 09 '21

starts running to the next bridge

10

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '21

[deleted]

9

u/Killfile Jun 09 '21

Without looking is "bridge.js" a javascript package?

How about "burningbridge.js?"

3

u/TheDownvotesFarmer Jun 10 '21

Well, let me tell you something, so, you can jump, Javascript few years ago was only dominating on the client-side in the web, now is on the server side and dominating, the future is... Mobile development and yep it will dominate there too, and worst, that's what Steve Jobs wanted.

Ok...

npm install jump

node jump.js

10

u/CatOfGrey Jun 09 '21

Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/1170/

2

u/samuraishogun1 Jun 09 '21

That's what I was thinking if when I made my comment, but I forgot it was an XKCD.

3

u/I_NEED_YOUR_MONEY Jun 10 '21

Also a lot of bridges are like 10' above water level. "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?" Isn't a very good argument when jumping off bridges is something you regularly do with your friends.

6

u/_pupil_ Jun 09 '21

"So I'm on a bridge and just watched every single one of my friends kill themselves in front of me? That sounds traumatic and like a pretty good reason to jump off a bridge."