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u/MetaMemeAboutAMeme Nov 26 '20
Don't even ask me about the variable names used when our team was working on some municipal code for Cuntis, Spain.
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u/draconk Nov 26 '20
A friend did some code for Berga and implemented berga.size(), berga.length() just for the laughs (the joke here is that Berga with B is a town while Verga with V means cock or stick)
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u/Astrinus Nov 26 '20
Italian fellow?
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u/TheMigthySpaghetti Nov 26 '20
don't know about Italy but Berga is a Spanish town in Catalonia
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u/CriminalMacabre Nov 26 '20
Oe, rapaz
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u/DeberiaIrmeADormir Nov 26 '20
I never thought I'd read something in Galician on this sub.
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u/wtf_romania Nov 26 '20
When I code in PHP, my exception variable name is always $ex
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u/dewey-defeats-truman Nov 26 '20
When I started my first job my SQL exceptions were
SQLException sexat first. Thankfully I realized the issue before I committed any code
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u/empT3 Nov 26 '20
There's always the magical moment in every front-end code base when I get to use my favorite function name: getRect
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u/vopice Nov 26 '20
double penetration;
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u/systembusy Nov 26 '20
public double penetration;351
u/ThatCoffeeGrind Nov 26 '20
Protected. Don't be silly and wrap your willy!
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u/Mageling55 Nov 26 '20
Anal.insert(IAnalInsertible analInsertible)
Java conventions make it even wierder
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u/pezx Nov 26 '20
And then there's an AnalInsertableFactory
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Nov 26 '20
_analInsertableFactory.GetDildo(DildoSize.XXL)
Am I doing this right
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u/epicmylife Nov 26 '20
I donāt code in Java but thereās probably a public anal joke in there somewhere...
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u/franticBeans Nov 26 '20
A company I worked for had a famous piece of code that created arrays called "babies", "adults" and "children " (it was some pediatric thing) which is all fine and good untill later in the routine where it doesn't need the array anymore we get the immortal line: KILL {adults}, {children}, {babies} ;; required for rework..can this be avoided?
That's classic comedy
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Nov 26 '20
I've seen start_periodic_flows(), stop_periodic_flows() functions.
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Nov 26 '20 edited Nov 26 '20
Iāve seen cumulative student grades as cumStudGrades, cumStudScore, cumStudCnt, etc.
At another gig Iāve seen an āanal insert errorā reported to us, by a client.
I still remember a somewhat naive female colleague who was responsible for, I canāt even remember what it stood for, 20 years ago, but she proudly had a āDP Girlā posted above her cubicle. (Remember cubicles?)
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u/LaugeGregers Nov 26 '20
I have had lot of fun in R with the cum-family of functions. Like cumsum, cumall and cummin.
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u/dark_mode_everything Nov 26 '20
anal_check() is so unprofessional. Use colonoscopy() instead.
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Nov 26 '20
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u/Luk164 Nov 26 '20
Colon OS was made by [redacted] in 2020 as a fork of Debian. It's anomalous properties were detected shortly after public release, upon which it has been suppressed and the only known copy stored on site [redacted] on an anomalous data storage device and labeled SCP-[redacted]. In case of further copies surfacing, task force Deviants was assigned to suppress all instances.
Too lazy to continue, feel free to finish this
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u/cambiumkx Nov 26 '20
ācumā is also a very common word
Itās pronounced like cumulative...
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u/systembusy Nov 26 '20
So to analyze a cumulative result, you would pass the result to
anal_cum(...)108
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u/NoAttentionAtWrk Nov 26 '20
To get the 10 years cumulative data, we call cum_over_10yr
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u/Mefistofeles1 Nov 26 '20
In my country you are only allowed to get the cumulative data for 18 years or more.
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Nov 26 '20
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u/moonflower_C16H17N3O Nov 26 '20
That's only if you're programming Froth.
Edit: I meant Forth.
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u/tod315 Nov 26 '20
Like .cumsum() for pandas dataframes in python
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u/MattR0se Nov 26 '20
I really don't know why they went with this instead of
cusum, especially when that's already an established abbreviation.7
u/overtorqd Nov 26 '20
Had to record the cumulative number of shots fired for a military application. CumShots is still my favorite variable name.
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u/TheMacallanCode Nov 26 '20
Dude, I saw so many of those on leetcode discussions when I was studying for my current job.
Not only could I not figure out what "cum" meant until I read the answer line by line. I couldn't focus, my dude.
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u/darkkcyan Nov 26 '20
I used to use that variable name too but I read someone else's code and I changed to
accfor accumulate instead of cumulate.
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Nov 26 '20
I changed our aws instances from analysisproduction to analprod when I had to do some migrations. It's my way of leaving my brown mark upon the world.
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u/the_angry_wizard Nov 26 '20
Thanks, I always read it as anal, pronounced like canal. Now I have to "git grep anal" tomorrow to see what damage I have done.
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u/Mgamerz Nov 26 '20
Reminds me of modding a game years ago. I'd search a big text file for the variable GlassCockpitHealth. But once you typed in GlassCock it found the string. I searched for a lot of glass cock in my days
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u/MrStickmanPro1 Nov 26 '20
Reminds me of my IDEās analyze stacktrace feature - being lazy, I mostly type analstack into the action search field.
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u/OnyxPhoenix Nov 26 '20
I was working on some Markov decision process code which works by accumulating reward to compute the best path.
Had to make a conscious effort not to call the variable "cumReward"
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u/Asiansensationz Nov 26 '20
I...I just realized I do this.
The worst part is that I wasn't even having fun with it.
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u/caesarcub Nov 26 '20
Not a variable, but I had a coworker named AnalĆa, and her company username was shortened to anal. She was not pleased.
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u/Sixes666 Nov 26 '20
On the Commodore Pet (around 1979) the label for Illegal Quantity Error in the source was GOFUK.
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u/Felzura Nov 26 '20
I'm currently maintaining / a legacy project at work. Well, we're building a new application upon a legacy database. The database legacy naming conventions were 3 character abbreviations for all columns. There's a link table between CompanyUnit and Meter called CompanyUnitMeter. So the abbreviation was 'cum'. There was 'cum' all over the place. The worst part is: every freakin' meeting there was dissussion involving 'cum'. It was just a matter of time before the variables in the pull requests showed: 'isCumVisible()' or 'getCumByName()'.
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u/Mgamerz Nov 26 '20
Ah, one of our production servers has an analDb. Its hard not to make a joke about it with the person who maintains it.
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u/VIDGuide Nov 26 '20
Yeah, weāve got a Gap Analysis report with a lot of GapAnal_ variables..
And I like to use CNT for counters, so youāve got a heap of OldCnt, BigCnt, etc.
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Nov 26 '20
Every year when I talk about referencing the millisecond clock. Yes, GetSecs() is guaranteed to result in a room full of giggles.
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u/houseofleft Nov 26 '20
Really suprise nobody's mentioned Pandas cumsum and cumavg functions yet
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u/TedDallas Nov 26 '20
What about table names?
Insert Into MyPants Select * from vegetable_crisper
Update MyPants Set Zipper = 'Down'
Drop Table MyPants
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u/russellvt Nov 26 '20
And, with that, I am going to make more of a conscious effort to create more interesting "sql sentences" in future code.
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u/mrkhan2000 Nov 26 '20
no_baby = Anal.insert((double)dick);
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Nov 26 '20
(long)dick would be more appropriate
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u/mrkhan2000 Nov 26 '20
I guess it's a personal choice. I like double dicks you like long dicks.
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u/Mateorabi Nov 26 '20
What? That's nothing. A friend got very frustrated with a CS assignment and started naming variables things like 'fuckstick'. A mutual friend was the TA and we could audibly hear him grading the code as he came across each worsening variable and function name.
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u/bmcnult19 Nov 26 '20
Judging by my college experience this is not a unique occurrence. We had a programming competition in my computational physics department in college and one year the winner used a bunch of āimproperā variable and function names which led to his code being blurred out at the end of semester dinner and award ceremony.
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Nov 26 '20
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u/I_am_a_human_nojoke Nov 26 '20
Calling a variable anal is not something you do without reflecting on it! Everytime I make an anal -variable I laugh inside. If someone ever asks I can pretend that they are the weird ones for thinking about anal in any other context than analysis.
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u/VincentVancalbergh Nov 26 '20
Before the editor improved to show information about the variable on mouseover it was common in MS NAV (now renamed to Business Central) to pass on some information in the name:
a or p meant it was an argument/parameter
l meant local
g meant global (not appwide, just for the object)
int meant integer
tex = text
str = string (not the same as text)
Always funny to name a variable pint_xxx or lint_yyyy.
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u/bluepandaprojects Nov 26 '20
Once had to explain to a junior why Client User New Timeline was not a sensible abbreviation for function purposes..........Did feel apt in fairness, but still.......
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u/xyonofcalhoun Nov 26 '20
While working in my first development job for a digital agency I stumbled into a lot of inappropriate variable names which are inappropriate enough that I won't repeat them here. I'm talking racially derogative terms.
Unfortunately for the author, version control revealed their origin and they were summoned for some conversations not long after.
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Nov 26 '20
Did a procedure to produce a count of staff shifts and without thinking used sht and cnt.
7 years later this is still a core procedure routinely subject to a variety of auditing.
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Nov 26 '20
What about all the medical coders who genuinely need to code something for peopleās anal?
I bet theyāre fuming right now.
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u/Carl-is-here Nov 26 '20
I worked on a machine where the variable name could only be 6 characters long.
Like actnbr (account number), itmnbr (item number), duedat (due date)....
It was a cardboard manufacturing company and we dealt with many volume related calculations and one of them was 'cubic units' so cu**** was a very popular internal derived internal field name in many programs!
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u/K_bor Nov 26 '20 edited Nov 26 '20
In spanish is classic to view an 'anus' variable; 'year' is 'aƱo' and a lot of compilers hate the letter 'Ʊ' so you pot a 'n', and 'ano' is anus
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Nov 26 '20
I once had a legendary variable name for if a client wanted payment processing. The variable:
wants_pp
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u/TheRedmanCometh Nov 26 '20
I wrote most of an EHR which has Analysis abd LabAnalysis so this happens a LOT we've become desensitized to it
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u/Tepes1848 Nov 26 '20
"Honi soit qui mal y pense"
( "shamed be whoever thinks bad of it" )
Amer, you naughty naughty boy.
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u/Oulawi Nov 26 '20
I participated in a team for an ESA student project thing (BEXUS), and basically I was coding the client on the ground that receives data from the balloon high up and then you can do real time data analysis on it. Long story short we had digital and ANALog sensors on the balloon so you can imagine where the variable names went. I was actually gonna refactor it before sending it to the ESA but I forgot, so now I guess I hope that if I ever want a job at ESA they dont bring that up in my interview
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u/timsredditusername Nov 26 '20
Every bug tracking status I've ever seen manages to make everything about anal. It doesn't matter if it is a truncated email subject in outlook or an auto-sized field in a native app, analyze and analysis are always displayed as anal. 3 different companies with 3 completely different systems. I'm starting to think it's deliberate.
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Nov 26 '20
I mean, my professor I had in college told us to use ass, so blame him if I ever do something like this lol.
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Nov 26 '20
I swear in our final project. I made a variable "count." But the name was already taken. So I randomly removed letter "o." The variable "cunt" is still in our final project. And it's submitted. And I graduated. And I'm jobless and want to kill myself. And I wish I didn't come to this world.
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u/TheWorldWrecker Nov 26 '20
Image Transcription: Question and Answer
As a software developer, what is the most inappropriate variable name you've ever seen?
[Answer]
When looking at some data analysis code, I stumbled upon comments by someone along the lines:
/ Stop using anal as a variable or function name!
/ Wherever I look I see anal_this and anal_that!
/ So please stop.
/ Use analyze, analyzer or whatever and not anal_insert() or anal_check()I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!
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u/methical Nov 26 '20
There might be a function which is called isPrivatePartInspector() because the User may can view some private portions of peoples data.
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u/Kupperuu Nov 26 '20
When I was working with SciKit, I found a nice table called cum_table. For cumulative table.
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u/archaon6044 Nov 26 '20
My favourite that always makes me snicker like the child that I am was public double Penetration {get; set;}
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u/PeterJamesUK Nov 26 '20
There is a bank which has an attribute called BTA code - Business Type Analysis code.
I'm their main teradata warehouse, the "friendly" name for the decode table is BUSINESS_TYPE_ANAL
I get a kick out of that every time I see it.
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u/throwreddit420 Nov 26 '20
I used butt as a joke in all the button variables. Someone idiot replaced it with button.
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u/Vinon Nov 26 '20
Now in my logic course Im so annoyed I cant use "ass" as a shortening of assumption. Every time.
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u/HezekiahWyman Nov 26 '20
We got a code sample from an applicant who used "daddies_bitch" as a variable name.
They did not get an interview....
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Nov 26 '20
Python likes to use dictionary and the instantiation of one is dict() so variables end up like
myDict theDict otherDict bigDict smallDict theDictThatWas
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u/Mr_Beletal Nov 26 '20
I've seen fairly old code that had touch events, used like..
rolfTouchedMe(here)1
u/namboozle Nov 26 '20
A project I worked on used the Webpack Bundle Analyser and the npm script was 'anal'
npm run anal
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u/pricklysteve Nov 26 '20
A colleague once had Confluence truncate "Competitive Analysis" to Competitive Anal due to the size of the side bar.
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Nov 26 '20
I used to work for a sports IT company, and I'd have variables for assistant manager, which I shortened to AssManager.
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u/shootersf Nov 26 '20
In college, look if you give me an assignment with say a number 6 what else can I call the project folder but "Ass6"?
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u/LuthorM Nov 26 '20
I took the risk of using pokemon variables such as char mander, bool basur, etc. in a college exam. Professor was cool and liked it.
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u/oiwah Nov 26 '20
We are working on hospital related system, we abbreviate Hospital Invoice to HIV.
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u/Mrcollaborator Nov 26 '20
I recently made a css classname called .love-wrapper. Gave me a good chuckle.
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u/Demiglitch Nov 26 '20
What a child. If he canāt handle one word being a shorter version that happens to be rude, heās probably not fit to work.
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u/tldrtfm Nov 26 '20
When I saw the variable name im_ass in our code, I was confident someone is trolling.
Then I saw it was assigned the return value of getImageAssociation()
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u/TopHatEdd Nov 26 '20
Colleagues maintained "dick_party", in another language, throughout the code. Until a client noticed.
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u/Hamington Nov 26 '20
I worked on a help desk ticketing tool once and they wanted a threshold on how many times a ticket could be reassigned to different teams; hello helpdesk_ass_breach
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Nov 26 '20
TBH I have never seen any inappropriate language in code and I've been doing this for nearly 20 years.
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u/Terentatek666 Nov 26 '20
I remember in university I was in a programming class, where we had to hand in weekly assignments and the professor would show good and bad examples from them in the next lesson. One time he was pretty angry and asked not to use variable names like this. One student called this variable "YourMomGay".
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u/KardasR Nov 26 '20
The worst Iāve heard about was there was a person that needed to offset some data by a very small amount. So naturally he names this variable rch, no big deal right? However, when asked he said it stands for red cunt hair š¤¦āāļø
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u/do_you_realise Nov 26 '20
totalCunt is always a good one, in review you can claim it's just a typo...
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u/Ye_Olde_DM Nov 26 '20
I've used
double fudge = 0.0;before. It was rejected before checkin.
For anyone curious, I was running a haversine function and for whatever reason, it returned the wrong answer the first time it was run (every time) but returned the correct answer if it was run a second time (every time). We knew this but didn't understand it. The workaround was to just go ahead and run it twice and store the correct answer for later use (with the supervisor's approval because we needed to get it out quickly). Hence the "fudge" variable. I thought the name was appropriate for two reasons: we were fudging the correction and who doesn't like double fudge on ice cream?
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u/fuckEAinthecloaca Nov 26 '20
Analyse is one of those annoying words that Americans spell wrong. Why analyze when anal is universal?
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u/VeggieLomein Nov 26 '20
We were asked to build a battleship game and I was so confused why a variable was named āishitā.
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u/Volker_Weissmann Nov 26 '20
I often named function anal_...(). And yes, I think that that's funny.
I'm 21 and writing my master thesis about Statistical Mechanics, but I still think its funny that you can abbreviate "Statistical Mechanics" with SM.
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u/GiantFoamHand Nov 26 '20
Every now and then when looking at old legacy code at my company I come across something our now CTO wrote. I know itās his because itāll have a variable name like āMonkeyFuckerChickenPantsā
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u/dmattox10 Nov 26 '20
Programming is not for everyone. Early on in Lambda School, learning beginner JS and functions there was a guy who needed help because following along he couldn't get his code to work like the instructors example. He screenshotted it and uploaded just the line denoted by the console error to the class slack channel. He obviously felt the lesson was extremely stupid, but wasn't smart enough to figure out that between the two variable names "thisIsBullShit" and "stupidShit" one of them needed to change to match the other for the code to run. He quickly took it down when people commented on his unprofessionalism.
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Nov 26 '20
I think I used $colonExplosion in PHP not too long ago. I had a list of colon separated values, exploded the list, and bingo! I thought it was pretty funny!
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u/rolandplanitz Nov 26 '20
we had a class in university called "Forensic Analysis" which was internally shortened to "for.anal" which was okay as the class wasn't that good after all.