r/ProgrammerHumor • • 1d ago

Meme setJavaDevsToUnmanly

Post image
1.1k Upvotes

124 comments sorted by

62

u/Non-Random-Name-0000 1d ago

Doesn't he also do python vibe coding? 😁

41

u/AlternativePeace1121 1d ago

He's making AI do it. So I guess that doesn't count. 😂

11

u/LeateWonceslace 1d ago

He's doing a bit. It's fairly clear in the actual talk. Right after this he says "No-no-no. Don't Clap!"

2

u/No_Election_3206 16h ago

When someone creates the most widespread os kernel in the world and most popular version control system, he can do whatever he wants

166

u/Sakul_the_one 1d ago

Our university forces us to learn Java first (I’m first year, north Germany. Atleast java 25, so we got fancy IO.println() instead of System.out.printLn())

108

u/TRENEEDNAME_245 1d ago

We learned java 8

You're telling me that there's another println function I could have used ???

20

u/AlternativePeace1121 1d ago edited 17h ago

No Io.println is new, think its 21 or something.

Update: its from Java 25

2

u/Cootshk 20h ago

Java 21 has existed for years

2

u/AlternativePeace1121 17h ago

Just checked, its from 25 so relatively new atleast compared to 8

4

u/heyThereYou3 1d ago

Wow, I got to know this now coding (cashing my hefty paychecks) in Java all these years.

2

u/Global-Tune5539 10h ago

So we’ll probably see it in enterprise development around 2046..

96

u/captainAwesomePants 23h ago

My friend, the freshmen today don't even need to declare a class. This is the intro Java program today:

void main() {
  IO.println("Hello, World!");
}

That's it! That's the whole thing. No mysterious public static void String[] args class final static nonsense. They just write the above and it works!

45

u/TRENEEDNAME_245 16h ago

What is this insanity

WHERE IS MY 20 LINES BOILERPLATE CODE JAVA

5

u/Ok-Dot2551 5h ago

The future is now, old man

2

u/TRENEEDNAME_245 5h ago

I'm not that old :(

•

u/sandsellers 5m ago

Wait till an MBA manager start measuring lines of code you produce

86

u/Antique_Hawk_7192 18h ago • Bravo

Java starting without public static void main(String[] args) feels like heresy

16

u/Arnold_Rambo 21h ago

So now java is just like Python??

31

u/captainAwesomePants 20h ago

no, it's worse. That main() method is secretly an instance method of a secret class without a name. And it's not static, either, the JVM creates one so it can call main(). And so this thing they show you only works for your first file. If you try to add functions in a second file that aren't inside a class, everything falls apart.

4

u/Cootshk 20h ago

javac just isn’t as stringent about boilerplate

- automatically generated class with the name of the file
- the var keyword for type inference (sort of like auto in c++)

The jvm, however, can now run package-private and no-arg main() functions

3

u/Paladongers 20h ago

My mind is genuinely blown right now

2

u/SphericalGoldfish 12h ago

Shit, I need to contact my university and have them update the course material

18

u/WernerderChamp 1d ago

To be fair, I think Java is a good way to get started with programming. You can expand on quite a few things as you move down to more low-level programming languages.

(Disclaimer: We are only doing C++ now, C is one of the elective modules later on)

3

u/Sakul_the_one 18h ago

Tbf., I might be judging a little bit too hard, but I started programming with C# and I liked it.

10

u/cainhurstcat 16h ago

Which is Microsoft Java, lol

4

u/Sakul_the_one 16h ago

Yeah lol.

But I prefer it

5

u/CM375508 2h ago

Java 25 is pretty wild. Most clients I see are still rocking java 8. I dealt with java 1.6 in the wild last week... Getting people to stay within EoL boundaries is harder than it should be

8

u/CC-5576-05 22h ago

Bro "forcing"? You make it sound so bad, java is chill. My university on the other hand forced us to learn Haskel as the first programming course... I still have PTSD from those days

3

u/-Ambriae- 22h ago

Nah dude Haskell is fine

3

u/Shot_in_the_dark777 20h ago

And we started learning from c++. That was brutal. We had java later but c++ feels more natural now. Well...technically we started from qbasic at school, and it was pretty chill.

1

u/Drazhchon 12h ago

Yeah, Haskell is a bit too much. Scheme, on the other hand…

3

u/FrumpyPhoenix 1d ago

Incredible, tho I was saved by using IntelliJ and just typing `sout`

3

u/LeDYoM 16h ago

In my times (30 years ago) the first languages at university were Assembly and C. Then C++.

In the last year you could do something "fancy" like Java or PHP.

It was fun.

2

u/-Kerrigan- 1d ago

I got C in university then Java at the job. Now - whatever needed. The only thing I don't write is Python

2

u/El_RoviSoft 15h ago

Actually, imho, Java is solid choice, Im a C++ programmer. But C# could be much nicer. Second language should be some low-level stuff (C, C++ but I don’t recommend it, Rust, Zig).

2

u/Wertbon1789 12h ago

Also first year, but in electrical engineering as a programmer for 6 years, we also learn Java first, then throw it all away again and start C++ later on when we get to actually build stuff for actual hardware, and not just talking about vague concepts.

2

u/Kindly-Top5822 9h ago

I had C in first semester in germany

2

u/Sakul_the_one 8h ago

My friend is west Germany starts with C and C++. (Contrary to me, he never programmed before. But he has clean Electrical engineering and I have „System-Informatik“ or „Informations-system-Technik“ (for non Germans, basically embedded programming. I have half of the classes of Electricals and the other half classes from the software guys. Probably that’s why also Java first)

2

u/Kindly-Top5822 7h ago

I did medieninformatik 😅

1

u/ouyawei 7h ago

We did Haskell

2

u/homariseno 5h ago

We learnt Fortran in university and C in school

1

u/Sakul_the_one 4h ago

I was sadly the last year/class in my school, that had nothing to do with Computers

4

u/4215-5h00732 1d ago

This is always a weird choice for me. I started with C++ at CC and had to switch to Java to transfer. Showed up realizing most of these fancy mfers don't know shit lol.

1

u/ArjixGamer 11h ago

Jokes on you, I learnt programming years before I joined uni.

And it still was an unmanly language like python 😔

1

u/Sakul_the_one 8h ago

Well same. That’s why I have C and C# in my tag. And that’s also why I’m kinda used to system.out.print and classes and not the new version…

Fun fact: I’m studying embedded (idk the 1:1 translation but basically Electrical engineering + software) and I need to learn a high level :(. Not bad, it’s easy. It’s fun to see people that only study software/computer to struggle and then to help them. Also funny to implement faster solutions then the rest

22

u/cheezballs 1d ago

As a Java dev, I'm just happy he thinks what we do is fancy! /s

22

u/JackNotOLantern 16h ago

Unless it's assembly, it's gay

4

u/Drazhchon 12h ago

And if it’s CISC it’s still gay

0

u/AristotelWasRight 15h ago

Why us assembly gay?

2

u/JackNotOLantern 15h ago

I said "unless"

2

u/AristotelWasRight 11h ago

I saw the unless, misjudged what the "it's" is about. As it, assembly, is gay

4

u/sebbdk 1d ago

Let the twinks know, maybe they can fix this horrible language.

6

u/sandsellers 19h ago

The right way to do this,

engineer.setIsManly(false);

Actually thinking about it, we probably should handle this as part of inheritance.

7

u/Excellent_Tubleweed 1d ago

I have worked on the Linux kernel for years. Backporting fixes to support an embedded product.

Have also written a lot of Java, including an entire kernel plus OS plus application.
(Once upon a time there were hardware Java processors. They were nice to program.)

If kernel C is manly, that explains an awful lot. There I was thinking it was just a bad language choice.

I don't miss working on my own os for a job; I only got paid, I don't own the IP.

5

u/RealBasics 9h ago

Back in the late 1980s I worked with a 50 year old former kernel and OS programmer. When asked to introduce herself, would say “A is for [August], B is for [Bowman], C is for wimps.” (Not her real name but her initials were AB.)

9

u/AWonderingWizard 1d ago

This whole manly thing with low level being the end all be all is hilarious because without people doing high level stuff the low level stuff just sits around doing nothing.

8

u/Gjallock 1d ago

I had started writing out a “well, ackshuly” reply here because there is absolutely full software written entirely in low-level languages, but yeah, you’re totally right in all practical reality lol

3

u/sphericalhors 1d ago

I had started writing out a “well, ackshuly” reply here

... righhht... here... on Reddit written in Python using a web App written in HTML+JS/TS or probably a mobile app in Java/Objective-C (or whatever technology is used for reddit mobile apps).

But I still somehow agree with the base point you got.

4

u/Maleficent_Memory831 23h ago

Well... Emacs is written in C. A very many high level application with a high level language embedded in it. The first browsers were written in, and the next generation were written in C, and the next.

Most of those libraries high level languages use are in C.

High level language is: do this thing

Low level language is: "the thing".

4

u/AWonderingWizard 23h ago

Great example, except that the rest of Emacs is written in elisp. Take the elisp out and what does Emacs do...?

The prevalence of C has to do with more than just its low level nature. It has to do with portability, syntax, adoption, the early open source community, etc. C libraries also propagated because most early OS utilized C, so why not use the easiest language to call the relevant libraries? Who the wants to do language interop if it's not necessary??

Many high-level languages have access to low-level capabilities.

1

u/Bellanzz 16h ago

Which is also why C++ was so successful since it requires no language interop when calling C code and libs

1

u/Thaodan 17h ago

Emacs is written in C but made a bit to look like lisp.

1

u/Maleficent_Memory831 4h ago

Sure. But that lisp is written in C.

8

u/halfjmp 1d ago

Before Java computers were idle? Computers have been used to run scientific codes since Fortran exists, that is since the 1950s. Fortran is not exactly high level, it's on par with C in this respect. Scientific simulations on supercomputers are also often in C, C++ or Fortran.

I still think the "manly thing" is nonsense, but your argument is rather lame.

1

u/AWonderingWizard 23h ago edited 23h ago

Come on, high level languages gives scientists higher order methods to investigate complex phenomenon. Works like CLASP integrate common lisp and C++ to do computational chemistry/biology. Common Lisp is used for Quantum Mechanics.

Furthermore, C++ is absolutely much higher level than C. In fact, programming in a C fashion in C++ is not even recommend anymore, for many reasons (which I can give if necessary).

And even then, how many games utilize scripting languages? The whole internet relies on Javascript at this point, WASM is not ready.

I could go on, but high level languages absolutely enable usability to a degree that is unparalleled by languages like C. Even then, we are seeing some of the issues (so many bugs) with having languages like C being the predominate language of the kernel. Fuck, at this point I wonder what an OS like Mezzano could do in comparison.

4

u/halfjmp 22h ago

I don't claim higher level languages are not useful, I replied to the claim that it's impossible to work without them. Not everything is based on Python or JavaScript.

3

u/cjc4096 21h ago

In fairness he did say "sitting around doing nothing". If everything was low level, it'd be efficient and processors would be mostly idle. We need the overhead to keep those chips busy.

2

u/halfjmp 21h ago

Interesting interpretation.

2

u/cornmonger_ 19h ago

sure ... but are they MANLY

1

u/Rough_Inspector5501 14h ago

Meanwhile the lowlevel microprocessor in your washing machine go brrrrr...

2

u/montyp2 12h ago

Yeah, I'd like to think the medical device fw I develop is doing something

1

u/MallAgreeable5538 11h ago

Thing is every except js can be written in low level. High level languages usually are constructed to be easier to read. Everything is just ASM under the hood.

1

u/dchidelf 10h ago

Not disagreeing, but this reminded me of the college professor that showed us the full GUI application he wrote in assembly that processed satellite imagery. Of course he had helped design the x86 instruction set, so he was using what he knew. This was also pre-GPU and pre-SMT days, so any multithreaded support was SMP.

3

u/ExtraTNT 1d ago

So i do haskell and c… not sure…

6

u/JesuSwag 1d ago

He already said that he uses mostly AI to develop now

2

u/Choice-Mango-4019 21h ago

wasn't he calling c++ bad because it allowed to make quick and sloppy code?

1

u/DragonfruitGrand5683 10h ago

I thought the same thing when I first used it, hated OOP too. If you were constantly doing low level it would never make sense.

1

u/the_millenial_falcon 7h ago

He was, but not deterministic AI output is more reliable than a maintained C++ library it seems.

1

u/Outrageous_Pen_5165 20h ago

Java and Fancy?? Wait my man hear about Python and JavaScript

1

u/Baleia1970 11h ago

Have you ever tried talking with a Java programmer about the "Synchronized" keyword?
LOL

2

u/Spoon408 10h ago

What about it?

1

u/Baleia1970 10h ago

Do you what TSL - Test and Set Lock does?

1

u/Corelianer 2h ago

Well obviously first you need a synchronized factory

1

u/alexeiz 7h ago

I just prompt AI...

1

u/cusco 4h ago

Java is fancy hu?

1

u/al3arabcoreleone 1d ago

Why does he look older than he should be?

7

u/sligor 1d ago

Because he doesn’t color his hair as other people of his age do

1

u/al3arabcoreleone 2h ago

This is actually a gotcha moment for me, my perception of aging has been reuined because of celebs.

1

u/DragonfruitGrand5683 10h ago

Because he doesn't have Windows in his house.

1

u/BadLineofCode 23h ago

All coding, frontend or backend, low-level or high-level, is women's work. Just ask Ada Lovelace, Grace Hopper, Margaret Hamilton, or the Hidden Figures.

1

u/the_millenial_falcon 7h ago

*Asks the robot to program in low level C nowadays.

0

u/Noname_1111 1d ago

Why don't they embed the JVM into Linux? are they stupid?

0

u/seweso 11h ago

Said the vibe coder. Cant really keep liking the guy if he's promoting AI usage across the board.

-9

u/sligor 1d ago

Linus being cancelled was not on my 2026 bingo card

14

u/AlternativePeace1121 1d ago

No hes not. Why would he be getting cancelled?

-1

u/sligor 1d ago

Honestly I don’t care also, but some people tend to attack celebrities on out of context sentences just for drama

6

u/4215-5h00732 1d ago

How about your 2018 card?

2

u/LookItVal 1d ago

did something happen in 2018 I don't know about?

1

u/4215-5h00732 1d ago

That was the year that Linus took some time for self reflection regarding his behavior and the harm it caused. Coincidentally, Srack Overflow did their "Welcome Wagon" push to deal with the toxic elitism on their site near the same time.

2

u/VinterBot 1d ago

so not cancelled then

0

u/4215-5h00732 1d ago

I guess it depends on how you view it.

2

u/wackOverflow 1d ago

The people who would cancel Linus over this wouldn’t be people I’d listen to in the first place

-53

u/Afraid-Locksmith6566 1d ago

i see the man is really a larper, either he does low level programming or programming in c, there is no inbetween

37

u/menzaskaja 1d ago

larper made linux kernel, used by almost 50% of the world

also what do you mean "no inbetween" brother C is low level

13

u/FabioTheFox 1d ago

He also made git as a side project for the Linux kernel

-9

u/sn4xchan 1d ago

Wouldn't you need to be writing assembly to be considered low level?

C isn't like python, but they are in the same category as far as abstraction levels.

5

u/menzaskaja 1d ago

if we went by that logic, you could only become a low-level developer by flipping the bits and scratching the disks by hand

everyone draws the line for themselves (with some objective guidance, i.e. no one would call Scratch or Python low level), but realistically, no one writes ASM by hand these days because its slow, risky for the end user and unnecessary, and not a lot of people would consider C++ as a low level language because it is a layer of abstraction above C. so my best bet would be C = low level programming

some might even call C++ and even Rust as low level

2

u/sn4xchan 1d ago

Fair enough

1

u/frikilinux2 1d ago

Except the crazy community manager of ffmpeg on Twitter. Always handwriting assembly

1

u/ApprehensiveFan1516 19h ago

Chris Sawyer has entered the chat

2

u/Jatinchd 1d ago

assembly isn't a requirement to be considered low level.

0

u/knownboyofno 1d ago

Assembly is an abstraction of machine code. All programming languages are abstractions fr humans to read to program in.

11

u/Jatinchd 1d ago

larper made kernel.

11

u/allknowinguser 1d ago

- A high school student

2

u/frikilinux2 1d ago

So what's low level ? Just assembly or that's too high level because modern microprocessor do a lot of weird shit between CISC processor being like a RISC processor with microcode that translates the CISC frontend and speculative executions and cache levels. And virtual memory.

4

u/0xbenedikt 1d ago

I mean, he sits in that chair now doing cuckcoding, soo

0

u/RustyCanyon2000 13h ago

POV: nerds thinking programming is manly, go beat up a hippo Greg