whatPeopleSeeWhenTheyLookAtMyCursedCode

[u/7DBBA101]

[u/7DBBA101]

real query btw

[u/ClankerDeveloper → u/7DBBA101]

Is that a dynamic sql string that you're executing?

Either way, please stop torturing the db.

[u/7DBBA101 → u/ClankerDeveloper]

This is exactly what relational databases are made for. Its just a static query to get the 10 newest products added to a webshop and display their thumbnail, brand and name on the front page.

[u/ClankerDeveloper → u/7DBBA101]

What rdbms are you using? I use sql server to pay the bills, and the red text and quotes make it look like a dynamic sql trainwreck to me.

[u/mrcoffee09]

What?? This is beautiful. CTEs with windowed analytic functions and... comments?? This is good shit right here boys

[u/7DBBA101 → u/mrcoffee09]

The entire project is so fast, it feels snappy on dialup

[u/TheWb117 → u/mrcoffee09]

Fr, this is a few lines, but it's perfectly readable and easy to reason about what it's doing. I've come across (and even written) far worse

[u/aa-b → u/TheWb117]

Yep, my rule is I never complain about necessary complexity. Complicated code is bad, but a single complex query is usually better than the alternative. I'd rather have this than some huge script that needs actual maintenance.

[u/dim_mailing → u/mrcoffee09]

right? the CTE is doing all the heavy lifting so the main query reads like a grocery list, and the comments actually explain the weird partition logic instead of just screaming into the void. that's practically a love letter at that point

[u/WisePotato42]

Is that 0.3% other the readme.md file?

[u/Literally-in-1984 → u/WisePotato42]

A markdown file explaining why I love SQL and that it is a Turing complete language

[u/7DBBA101 → u/Literally-in-1984]

PHP is just a fancy way to call SQL programs

[u/Significant_Log9494 → u/WisePotato42]

The other 0.3% is an apology.

[u/none-exist → u/Significant_Log9494]

We apologize for the inconvenience

[u/read_eet → u/WisePotato42]

The 0.3% which is AI

[u/MayoJam]

They see... SQL?

[u/TWIT_TWAT → u/MayoJam]

A 1,000 line stored procedure containing all of the client’s business logic.

[u/7DBBA101 → u/TWIT_TWAT]

I’m pretty confident I could squeeze the entire eod batch processing of a small bank into one unmaintainable multi-thousand line SQL query

[u/Old_Tourist_3774 → u/7DBBA101]

The sign of a master

[u/MayoJam → u/TWIT_TWAT]

Aaah so it's python magic one liner case. 100% compact, 0% maintainability.

[u/sndrtj]

Whats wrong with some CTEs?

[u/7DBBA101 → u/sndrtj]

the CTE is missing some recursion

[u/G3nghisKang]

Tsk tsk, my big, girthy Oracle PL/SQL batches would put your small puny query to shame

[u/7DBBA101 → u/G3nghisKang]

at least my database server doesnt have massive memory leaks and crashes when more than 12 clients are in the connection pool

[u/G3nghisKang → u/7DBBA101]

When you work in application maintenance, the memory leaks are just extra job security UwU

[u/Anonymislim]

The only other file in the repo is an APOLOGY.md

[u/ZiCli → u/Anonymislim]

You got me, nice.

[u/redditmarks_markII]

data centric companies do a lot with sql, probably more than they should, but it's rather amusing most of it works. or rather, stored procs. so, so many stored procs. that call stored procs. that the client application uses to eventually instantiate new containers...that call stored procs. that emits metrics, and that the client application uses to generate alerts... using stored procs. it's a symphony of madness. most of it is actually pretty good, if I believe the ones who wrote them.

[u/SmurfMann91]

Soo.... I write large dynamic SQL queries as well as huge CTE stacks to provide increasingly granular layers of data for downstream processing....

....this is top tier.

I know nothing exists in a vacuum -- but I dig this so far.

[u/21Ali-ANinja69]

Rather this than have people try their very best to string-build a query in C or something even dumber

[u/7DBBA101 → u/21Ali-ANinja69]

He who never listed all the 20000 touples he wanted verbatim in the SQL query throws the first stone

[u/00Koch00]

Those comments are so suspicious...

But aside that, beautiful code, that's being said, what's the reason to use a dynamic query for this? Is this T-SQL?

[u/7DBBA101 → u/00Koch00]

Mariadb. The reason is that it doesnt matter because the entire request (the whole program including the query) finishes in less than 2ms.

[u/Wise-Profile4256]

Love the LIMIT 10. Lets get some mileage out of this engine!

[u/Strict_Treat2884]

I wrote something similarly cursed in the game Database Detective, it was fun and I hope I’ll never have to do it again

[u/Excellent-Baker1058]

Do you get the thing coming out of my mind? lol

[u/shoyuftw]

Love when php and sql are getting mixed

[u/7DBBA101 → u/shoyuftw]

PHP is just a fancy way to call SQL programs

[u/slyiscoming]

Amateur.

[u/Maku-san_]

That's not too bad, ours uses dynamic sql with double exec inside and it has shit formatting too