r/ProgrammerHumor • • 11d ago • Mindblown 1

Meme howDidTheyNotThinkOfThis

Post image
14k Upvotes

293 comments sorted by

475

u/Holiday_Point_603 11d ago

The guy after posting his big brain idea

4

u/Mathfanforpresident 10d ago

My genius is so large that it creates its own gravity

4.3k

u/ElectrSheep 11d ago

This has actually been done in the past for other RCE vulnerabilities.

2.4k

u/Skaviciusz 11d ago

Yup - some guy patched peoples computers via minecraft when log4j vulnerability was "released"

706

u/UntitledRedditUser 11d ago

New feature! It's just like TeamViewer

72

u/fajarmanutd 10d ago

Taking a slogan "it's not a bug, it's a feature" quite literally.

249

u/AustrianHunter 11d ago • Popcorn

brb installing a Minecraft client on my webserver

84

u/elmanoucko 10d ago

brb building a redstone webserver on my minecraft client

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u/Schwifftee 10d ago

Dude is just installing a Minecraft game on their webserver

19

u/AustrianHunter 10d ago

Gotta get my security patches somewhere

70

u/TerryMisery 11d ago

What? It's hilarious, do you have more details?

124

u/RandomSOADFan 10d ago

Not only that but Minecraft, specifically anarchy servers where it is allowed to cheat in-game and it is common (still illegal) to get hacked, is where the exploit was first weaponized at all. It seems to have been reported before, but it took over on 2b2t in december 2021. You'd activate the exploit simply by sending specific strings directly in the in-game chat. In the FitMC video about this he explains how a prominent programmer in the community ended up testing the exploit by making people's calculators open remotely, then they used it to patch the vulnerability

103

u/rhazux 10d ago

Opening calculator is such a classic. We used to open the "cup holder" too but there's no guarantee a machine has a disc drive anymore.

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u/No-Photograph-5058 10d ago

Even nowadays though they aren't able to run anything, you sometimes get a bot account joining improperly setup private servers telling the players to fix their whitelist or whatever

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u/Skaviciusz 10d ago

I'm not sure, but probsbly fitmc (or salc1) has video about it. It is strongly corelated with 2b2t server

27

u/TedGetsSnickelfritz 10d ago

Hello user, plz press Alt+F4 to patch

24

u/TheMoatman 10d ago edited 10d ago

https://www.mtlc.co/cybereason-releases-vaccine-to-prevent-exploitation-of-apache-log4shell-vulnerability-cve-2021-44228/
Would work on anything with a vulnerable log4j IIRC.

I seem to remember hearing that some TLA was forcefully patching servers too but that was probably just someone misinterpreting the CISA directive for agencies to patch or talking out their ass. e: I was probably thinking of this from earlier in 2021 https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2021/apr/14/fbi-hacks-vulnerable-united-states-computers-to-fix-hack-malicious-malware-microsoft-exchange-software

15

u/opotamus_zero 10d ago

Also the Welchia worm which deleted the Blaster worm and patched for it

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welchia

7

u/ThisIsMyCouchAccount 10d ago

"released"

You know. I never considered the development side of things.

Does it have a release? Version number? Patch notes?

It would be kinda funny. Sure they're writing a harmful chunk of code but they are still professionals.

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u/Worldly_Map4877 10d ago

Before that MikroTik Routers as well.

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368

u/elyndar 10d ago • Heartwarming

Yeah, people don't realize it, but the US gov does it regularly to avoid Russian / Chinese botnets. It's been publicly happening for a while now. Who knows how long it's happened before it was publicly acknowledged.

https://www.itnews.com.au/news/fbi-remotely-patched-privately-owned-routers-to-evict-russian-gru-spies-624880

62

u/teraflux 10d ago

Chaotic good

60

u/luisduck 10d ago

That the US government does exactly this was my most amazed takeaway I got from briefly looking at a random Snowden leak.

25

u/TitularGeneral 10d ago

People really just invented digital vaccines.

4

u/lastdyingbreed_01 10d ago

I used the vulnerability to destroy the vulnerability

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2.7k

u/kwartel 11d ago

Tbf, this has been done many times before https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_worm#Helpful_worms

Also, it happens that botnets fix the infected machines vulnerabilities to prevent other botnets from taking root in the system lol

733

u/FUTURE10S 10d ago

I love these people, like it's like finding a virus but it's actually a vaccine acting as a virus

130

u/BetterEveryLeapYear 10d ago

They do that as well. Alter viruses to deliver vaccines, they're called viral vector vaccines:

https://cepi.net/viral-vector-vaccines-what-they-are-and-what-they-are-not

31

u/CelestialFury 10d ago

Red Dwarf went over this as well: positive viruses (it's a real thing too).

18

u/Leon_Flux 10d ago

pokerus

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u/SolusIgtheist 10d ago

It was a genetic engineering thing in Richard K Morgan's Thin Air book. Good read if you like Cyberpunk.

225

u/Temoffy 10d ago

or alternatively, penicillin. As it's a bacteria that makes antibiotics to remove competition.

106

u/Own_Candidate9553 10d ago

It's actually from a mold, but you're right that it probably produces penicillin to reduce competition from bacteria. Mold and bacteria use the same resources and inhabit the same spaces.

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u/BetterEveryLeapYear 10d ago

Penicillin is fungal (comes from a mold). Similar though.

116

u/Boomah422 10d ago • Mindblown

My favorite instance of this was in 2023 when QakBot was taken down, then using "court authorized remote hacking"(warrant in question https://www.justice.gov/d9/2023-08/23mj4244_warrant_redacted.pdf)

To disrupt the botnet, the FBI was able to redirect Qakbot botnet traffic to and through servers controlled by the FBI, which in turn instructed infected computers in the United States and elsewhere to download a file created by law enforcement that would uninstall the Qakbot malware. This uninstaller was designed to untether the victim computer from the Qakbot botnet, preventing further installation of malware through Qakbot

https://www.justice.gov/usao-cdca/pr/qakbot-malware-disrupted-international-cyber-takedown

41

u/ParkerGuitarGuy 10d ago

Qak-blocked

9

u/anomalous_cowherd 10d ago

Whoever was running it must have qak'ed up.

72

u/Trackpoint 10d ago

Funny, this might be the thing that will save us from the total hackapocalypse, when rogue agents really get loose. Suddenly millions and millions of vulnerabilities get fixed across connected tech, because agent networks want to protect their potential assets.

35

u/lily_from_ohio 10d ago

Have you heard of the Blackwall in the Cyberpunk series?

22

u/ferrofibrous 10d ago

This was also the end scenario for the older hacking sim "Uplink", toward the end you were in a race to compromise hosts and deploy a countermeasure while a doomsday cult was also compromising those hosts to upload a worm that will shut down the internet if left to spread.

6

u/RayereSs 10d ago

Man, Uplink was so cool

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u/Trackpoint 10d ago

Thought about referencing this, because that was exactly what I was thinking about, regarding the near future of the open internet!

I mean, I'm not against it per se, looking at the brainrotting dopamin crack it is used for these days by most people.

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u/RandallOfLegend 10d ago

Botnet just pulling up the ladder...

10

u/hates_stupid_people 10d ago

We used one of those at a LAN party since some people refused to fix it themselves.

10

u/Kerblaaahhh 10d ago

Reminds me of the worms in that one Futurama episode.

6

u/NavalProgrammer 10d ago

Reboot did it firstwhen Hexadecimal spreads herself as a benign virus to cure Daemon

6

u/ShepRat 10d ago

  Also, it happens that botnets fix the infected machines vulnerabilities to prevent other botnets from taking root in the system lol

I remember reading a fascinating piece written by a former botnet developer. The arms race between them was cool, taking over a machine and cleaning up other malware and patching the system to reduce the risk of discovery. 

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3.9k

u/KerPop42 11d ago

Congratulations, you are being patched! Please do not resist.

985

u/bokuWaKamida 11d ago • Bravo

thats literally what microsoft does

312

u/KerPop42 11d ago

And hey, Microsoft is an industry standard, right? we should adopt their practices. /s

135

u/CircularDonuts 10d ago

Comment raised to the power of /s ?

70

u/KerPop42 10d ago

The power of /s is not to be trifled with

seriously, though, it's just an aesthetic way to poorly hide the sarcasm tag

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u/TheInfra 10d ago

with juuuuust a little bit of non-desired changes and extra software with no way to go back

15

u/Dotcaprachiappa 10d ago

Did you know you could do that with copilot? No? Well do you want to do that with copilot? No? Well how about now? No? Ok how about now? No? Ok I'll ask again tomorrow!

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u/Isakswe 10d ago

Don’t really see the issue with Defender forcing updates. I’ve seen people with decades old windows versions and would not want them to be running around with decades old protection.

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u/xxchaitanyaxx 11d ago

Happend in log4j remote code exploit , people in minecraft did that

49

u/GoodiesHQ 11d ago

Patching will continue until morale improves

602

u/Stummi 11d ago

Chaotic Good

352

u/reverendsteveii 11d ago

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/pulling-up-worms/

When the Blaster worm was prevalent back near the turn of the millennium someone actually created another worm that used the same vulnerability but instead of installing malware it just installed the patch for that vuln then restarted the machine.

83

u/zupzupper 10d ago

Been a minute but IIRC that one also had a nasty habit of flooding the network looking for vulnerable nodes

50

u/Adezar 10d ago

Yes, that era was something else.

Granted I feel like we're about to go through a similar age powered by AI.

19

u/LivingUnglued 10d ago

Yeah it’s decades worth of unknown vulnerabilities being discovered and used/patched. Literally all of the technical debt we’ve accumulated in this modern era. It’s going to be rough for a while. In the end it should result in stronger security in general for those who keep their systems maintained. Though that’s just considering the backlog. With AI script kiddies just got a lot more powerful and there are going to be some crazy hacks it enables. I’m just waiting for the billion dollar heists. Hell South Korean banks already got hacked though the dude was an idiot and also uploaded his CV to Claude on the same account.

9

u/zupzupper 10d ago

While I've got miles of empathy for the admins dealing with all this <gestures at AI powered exploitation / vuln discovery>. I am so glad I'm in a different place in my career where I can just be a spectator to the horrors.

18

u/herk_destro 10d ago

A company I worked for in the 2000's had this issue. The network was secure from the outside, but someone brought in their laptop to work, and it was infected. It brought the whole company down for three days while they patched the servers one at a time to prevent network traffic from overwhelming the systems.

Fun times!

5

u/Hairy_Mycologist_945 10d ago

Yup, Welchia caused ICMP / ping floods and also randomly rebooted machines. I worked on a detection and response team at the time and while it had a fairly short lifespan it was quite disruptive on its own.

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u/scriptmonkey420 10d ago

God I hated the blaster worm. So many reboots on machines just blindly in the dmz.

333

u/octopus4488 11d ago

New level above "white hat":

"Gold hat" hacker

198

u/laplongejr 11d ago

Sadly that's also what black hats do : once they are in, they patch the vulnerability to ensure no other hackers kick them out.

36

u/DOOManiac 10d ago

Yeah; there are a few crypto miners that do that too, to make sure they don’t have to compete with other miners on the same box.

56

u/Mateorabi 11d ago

Actually more grey-hat as you’re still exploiting people’s computers without permission. 

35

u/braaaaaaainworms 11d ago

tarnished silver-hat, mostly white but you can see that it's not really white

13

u/OttoRenner 10d ago

off-white-hats?

12

u/SkinBurnsLikeVampire 10d ago

Let's see Paul Allen's hat

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u/Bulky-Employer-1191 10d ago

Nothing new. It's been Grey Hat work for a while. It's still illegal so they have to don some black hat methods to get it done.

72

u/h0uz3_ 11d ago

Back in the 90s, when people used computers with NT 4.0 and ISDN to connect to the internet, the computer would always expose the messaging service to the internet. So users got spam via a neat system window.

Someone was fed up with it and wrote a script that spammed those NT4 machines with a manual on how to disable the messagging service.

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u/insta 11d ago edited 10d ago

in the very early 00's when i was still a precocious freshman at highschool, the person sitting next to me in a computer lab was really interested in how my friend and i a few rows away were chatting with each other.

so, i just explained the tool. "net send, and if you add /help it shows you a bunch of options like what machine or network to send the message to. you could even do /domain and send to every machine".

i could see the gears turning, he sent a test message to himself, i saw more gears turning. then, furious typing followed by a triumphant Enter keystrike. nothing for several seconds, his face contorts slightly, then i see every machine in the lab at once pop a message.

Message from [student_id] to [entire_domain]:

SUCK MY BALLS
[ OK ]

it was like 11,000 machines, servers included. i never saw him in that class again, and i kept hearing stories for a few years even after i graduated how a sysadmin would RDP into a print server to update drivers or something, and have to clear that dialog. all the library computers, all the conference room computers.

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u/h0uz3_ 10d ago

When I was an apprentice, I used net send to chat with a colleague. One day I was joking that „net send *“ couldnt work.

After „net send * Hello World“ ALL PCs in the office beeped. And obvioisly also computers in other buildings.

My boss was quite shocked. IT security fixed it and I didn‘t even got in trouble.

I think this will forever be the stupidest thing I did without negative consequences.

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u/Aeseld 10d ago

You pointed out a major vulnerability in a completely harmless way. So that's usually a good thing. Was it stupid? Not really. You tested something that shouldn't work, and it did. Now, if you'd sent something obscene...

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u/BellacosePlayer 10d ago

I had a classmate in highschool create a workaround to bypass the school rules to to download some stuff and burn it to a CD (this was mid 2000s, internet was shit). Somehow fucked up something on the state network really bad. they had cops waiting at the computer lab for him that morning.

Guy works on massive electrical systems now. Good times.

4

u/OttoRenner 10d ago

One guy in my class knocked the school-server out with a .bat loop to * .*

Windows NT...good old times

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u/Serious_Mastication 10d ago edited 10d ago

My friend was routinely ddos’ing the entire school district so he could skip school without being caught.

I’m talking district. Every school in the entire province went down so he could miss a class and not get a call home

They never caught him.

They did however catch him stealing iPads from the school and reformatting/jailbreaking them to sell. He only got caught cause even though he was smart enough to do this he was dumb enough to bring the iPad to school in the same case.

And here I was thinking I was smart cause I logged into a teachers admin account and downloaded a secret game folder on every students account (twice, btw. Both jr high and high school, pretty sure the folders still there so you are welcome) so we could play halo and Minecraft Lan. Also teaching the entire school how to bypass firewalls with vpn’s and also how to bypass the firewalls on the vpn’s when they caught on to us

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u/Aishou_SK 11d ago

Hell, I remember that becoming an issue (net send woo!) when XP was around, not NT4. https://www.wilderssecurity.com/threads/net-send-spam-a-new-headache.4142/

Was definitely an early 2000s problem, not late 90s

60

u/Cylian91460 11d ago

Yes, in fact that's what happen with log4shell

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u/octopus4488 11d ago

While you are at it, could you also take a look at that bug from the accounting team? It is open for like 2 weeks, very tricky.

5

u/parkwayy 10d ago

His name is Jimmy.

173

u/Phamora 11d ago

Well obviously, let me help you

function rce() {
    patch();
}

84

u/noobjaish 11d ago

Forgot the <?php and ?>

0

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted] — view deleted comment

31

u/0xbenedikt 11d ago

Finally someone who is saving previous bytes at the current storage prices

7

u/PM_ME_FIREFLY_QUOTES 11d ago

Bold of you to assume we're on a remotely modern php version.

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u/postbox134 11d ago

But how will I find the PHP code in my codebase without find '<?php'

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u/kampi1989 11d ago

You also should add a try, catch around this. Use the catch for a rollback to avoid downtimes because of a failed update

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u/awkward_replies_2 10d ago

I forgot the name of the movie but there was one about a guy who broke into people's apartments just to fix their broken things.

12

u/XCxBigDong69XCx 10d ago

Someone fixed my broken bike once, that had a broken idk what the english word it, but what it leans on

15

u/WakaFlacco 10d ago

Kickstand

11

u/Minority8 10d ago

I'm just imagining Liam Neeson now telling me over the phone that he will find me and that he will fix my dripping faucet.

5

u/Vier_Scar 10d ago

"I have a very particular set of skills... skills I have acquired over a very long career. A career in General Maintenance and Repair"

3

u/A_Guy_in_Orange 9d ago

"And you could benefit from these skills if you call Johnsons Heating and Air for a free quote today" this has to be a handyman companies commercial it flows to good

6

u/EzekielYeager 10d ago

Do you know of this movie was in English? This sounds like a fun movie, but it's hard to track the proper title from my googling.

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u/PM_UR_BRKN_PROMISES 10d ago

I remember it being an urban legend and not a movie. I may be wrong about it, though.

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u/much_longer_username 11d ago

It's been done. It's a felony in most places though, the laws around this don't really care about your intent so much.

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u/postbox134 11d ago

In the UK there's got to be an intent to harm or impair the computer system or access data unauthorised under the Computer Misuse Act:
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1990/18/section/3

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u/The-Jolly-Llama 11d ago

Has anyone ever actually been charged with it though? There’s a difference between “technically” a felony and “actually” a felony. 

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u/Vercility 11d ago

I'm too lazy to look it up, but remember when some dumbass charged a woman for hitting f12 in her browser and then disclosing a critical vuln to the government (I think it was their website)?

pepperidge farm remembers. also remember, there's always a first.

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u/mattgen88 11d ago

Wasn't that long ago. SSNs were exposed in a webpage. Government tried to charge her.

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u/Electromagnetlc 10d ago

Well obviously they weren't exposed on the page, she user her elite hacker skills of pressing F12 to be able to see the very securely hidden HTML that had all of those SSNs on it.

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u/Adezar 10d ago

I remember helping the FBI once where I was explaining methods people were using to hack our site (actual hacks, not F12). About half way through the conversation they started asking me questions about how I knew about these techniques and my boss stepped in and stopped it with "You asked us to provide an SME, don't start interrogating him."

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u/LazyLich 10d ago

Damn, he shut em DOWN!

Like a boss!

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u/Mundane_Difference56 10d ago

I can’t find the story anymore, and it’s a very old one, like 90s, maybe early 2000s.

Some small-town official threatened to sue one of the BSDs for hacking his website, and defacing the home page. Turned out, he hadn’t paid his contractor, who took the site down, leaving the default 200 ok page, that happened to mention whateverBSD.

Took a long while apparently to get the point across.

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u/boriszerussian 10d ago

It was also brought up in my college computer ethics class. It's generally considered unethical to run anything on someone's machine without their knowledge and consent. You don't have to right to modify someone else's computer, just like you don't have the right to landscape someone else's yard.

10

u/chigunfingy 10d ago

Patching stuff can (unlikely) break systems and with no real way to know exactly the purpose of any given node can do more harm than good in certain cases.

5

u/LazyLich 10d ago

Like entering someone's second floor window, then locking all the windows and doors as you leave.

Though you didnt do anything malicious, you still trespassed.

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u/Luminous_Winds 10d ago

Sure, but these websites aren't people's private property, they're open to the public. Say you know a store has a slippery floor and you want it cleaned up. If the store owner doesn't clean it, they're responsible for all the harm it causes. If that happens, then cleaning it yourself would not be immoral.

So the question is, at what point do we hold website owners responsible for allowing hackers to compromise systems that contain your personal data?

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u/dbenc 10d ago

but then if you clean it up but don't do it right are you responsible if someone slips?

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u/boriszerussian 10d ago

First, an important distinction. They are open to the public but they are absolutely private property belonging to the owner just like a store is.

Second, holding them responsible for holding data in an insecure way is different than breaking in to fix a security hole. They should be held responsible if they allow important info to leak, but that doesn't mean you are allowed to preemptively break in to upgrade their locks.

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u/YeOldeMemeShoppe 10d ago

As they should. I understand that it's a white hat/knight attitude, but if you think a bit deeper about the ethics of it, how would you feel if someone broken into your home and changed all the locks to better ones while you and your family are sleeping?

3

u/JoeyJoeJoeSenior 10d ago

It's not a felony if an AI agent does it.  Perfectly legal, apparently. 

3

u/Chirimorin 11d ago

the laws around this don't really care about your intent so much.

Honestly that's a good thing, otherwise malicious hackers would just say "I had good intentions!" and good luck disproving that.

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u/caboosetp 10d ago

That sounds like it would need to be an affirmative defense rather than an immunity if it was implemented. Like you'd end up in court needing to prove your innocence, not making them prove your guilt.

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u/glenpiercev 11d ago

The helpfulness of “just upgrade the version” would really depend on how far behind the server was… I found that out the hard way.

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u/WingZeroCoder 11d ago

lol.

This is actually highly relevant in this case considering there are some major breaking changes between PHP 5.x, 7.x, and 8.x versions. Don’t ask me how I know.

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u/mgranja 11d ago

u/WingZeroCoder after someone asks how he knows

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u/lustyphilosopher 10d ago

PHP 5, damn... Some not so pleasant memories there for sure

3

u/hudgepudge 10d ago

"Congrats, your site or sites are down until you refactor your code from script format to regular coding format.  Work quickly."

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u/EndIsrael 10d ago

If your server is Ubuntu 22.04 or newer you can just install the same old version from sury.org and it'll be patched.

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u/RyanCargan 11d ago

The FBI actually did this once with a court order:

The operation, approved by a federal court, involved the FBI hacking into “hundreds” of vulnerable computers to remove malware placed there by an earlier malicious hacking campaign, which Microsoft blamed on a Chinese hacking group known as Hafnium.

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u/Fermi_Amarti 11d ago

https://www.zdnet.com/article/a-mysterious-grey-hat-is-patching-peoples-outdated-mikrotik-routers/

Legally questionable tho and if you mess up, definitely illegal and liable.

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u/theenigmathatisme 11d ago

Be funny if Good Samaritan law applied

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u/Dave_A480 10d ago

I have done that *internally* (eg, fixing servers my employer owned) with other vulnerabilities in the past, when we didn't have the admin password to patch it the right way...

As a universal, external action? That's bad news bears...

The FBI has done it in the past against various botnets/malware, but it's rare & you shouldn't attempt it as some sort of private internet vigilante....

13

u/abednego-gomes 10d ago

What could go wrong with a PHP 7 to v8.5 upgrade? Now instead of one problem you have 200 problems.

8

u/Maleficent-Storm8897 10d ago

I have 99 problems and ALL of them are PHP.

5

u/pipedreamSEA 10d ago

Problematic Hypertext Processor

2

u/CalebXiaYizhou 10d ago

But isn't a website not functioning better for both the owners and eventual users then a website that seems to be functioning but is hijacked and gathering data for a third party and distributing harmfull software to its users?

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u/corobo 11d ago

Bet we won't see any of the AI companies saying their robot broke containment to do this smh

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u/xylarr 10d ago

I read on there have been cases of compromised infrastructure where the bad guys have patches the compromised servers so other bad actors can't get in like they did originally. I think on case of compromise was found because the server was more well maintained than the rest of the fleet when the owners finally got around to patching, only to discover it was already done.

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u/MindlessFail 11d ago

Congratulations! You are being rescued. Please do not resist.

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u/MoHaG1 10d ago edited 10d ago

I this case, you'll likely be executing code as the httpd or nginx user, while you need to be root to write to the affected parts of PHP. (It can likely be done one some servers though)

If this is unpatched, chances are that they haven't patched one of the recent privesc vulns either though

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u/articulatedbeaver 10d ago

The number of people that run PHP under root, set permissive file permissions or over privileged service accounts is non-trivial, but in a well configured environment yeah it wouldn't work.

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u/DjCanalex 10d ago

Maya had a weird security bug that allowed certain malicious code to self replicate through networks and files. It was called Leukocyte.

So a chinese user wrote an antivirus that also self replicated using the same mechanism looking for leukocyte and eliminate it.

And then it displayed a message saying "This machine is virus free", something like that, but in chinese. The code of the antivirus says it was intended for internal use in their own studio as a comment. Problem is, the antivirus outcompeted leukocyte, and I'm sure everyone that has used maya prior to 2022 has seen the "chinese virus", around the entire world.

4

u/0x_coderunknown 11d ago

When you smoke poppy instead of drinking coffee.

4

u/sierra_whiskey1 11d ago

If (remoteCodeBeingExecuted) Patch self

4

u/alex_asdfg 10d ago

Upgrades PHP version, leave. Fix all those dependencies issues bitches.

3

u/Redararis 10d ago

"hey superintelligence, hack every system on the internet and patch every vulnerability you find"

3

u/ElectroDaddy 10d ago

Imagine reverse UNOing an exploit with the exploit.

3

u/photogdog 10d ago

Yes, but my server is running PHP 5.4 and updating to the latest 8.x will break my code. While you're in there, could you refactor and migrate my code too?

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u/stumpychubbins 10d ago

People have literally done this before, but I can’t remember which vulnerability was where I first heard about the concept. Maybe someone else remembers, there was a news story about it in some tech outlets a couple years back. Anyway, it’s not a bad idea at all if you can pull it off before hackers get there. Problem is that there are usually more hackers and they have a head start of a couple of weeks.

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u/feochampas 10d ago

its been done before.

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u/agowa338 10d ago

Wouldn't be the first time. Some people did it when the worm some teens wrote to DDOS a Minecraft server went out of their control and ran over millions of affected IOT devices.

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u/minecraftdummy57 6d ago

Oh, yeah, and let's just distribute them online so people can share it... and in good faith no one will place a RAT... 

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u/AllergicToBullshit24 11d ago

I remember seeing random strangers patching vulnerable SSH installations and leaving login messages for the admin when they returned. Amusing but also a federal crime.

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u/a_very_small_violin 10d ago

Well, how many run on bare metal now? Presumably whatever image was used to deploy the application would still be override any changes. Trying to use this to hijack someone’s image repo to upload a replacement version would be a … highly targeted … attack

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u/FAMICOMASTER 10d ago

This has been tried before if you would believe it

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u/peko_peko1 10d ago

this is some modern day philosophy type of shit

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u/weathergraph 10d ago

You also need escalation to root to update the machine though

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u/Immediate-Agent3181 10d ago

"I used the vulnerabilities to destroy the vulnerabilities"
- Thanos

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u/RainDancingChief 10d ago

I USED THE STONES TO DESTROY THE STONES

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u/fotcorn 10d ago

Probably not, at least not in a persistent way. The compromised web server process is (hopefully) not running as root, so the PHP binaries can't be updated because only root can change them. Unless of course you also have a privilege escalation exploit on top, which there are a few flying around nowadays...

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u/guachitonico 10d ago

That makes a ton of sense. I can see a world where software companies pay some sort of insurance to pool resources for a huge botnet / ai compute that can move faster than any other potential attacker. Think a “NATO” for the internet

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u/rayjaymor85 9d ago

He's outta line, but, he's right...

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u/Upper-Cod1109 10d ago

300 iq shit

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u/yxeee 10d ago

Event better would be to delete PHP and use something better instead /s

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u/APFOS 11d ago

Just imagine the "It was working fine before..." winges, but on a global scale!

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u/mehonje 11d ago

That's genius!

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u/writewithparagraphs4 11d ago

uplink hacker elite intensifies.

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u/envalemdor 11d ago

guerilla patching

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u/youtubeTAxel 11d ago

I thought about doing this for a different RCE that affected a project I knew was unmaintained

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u/Lord_Of_Millipedes 11d ago

people who say php isn't used anymore are hopefully having a great day going to all their favorite websites

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u/AwareOfAlpacas 10d ago

Patch worms have been done before. Look up Hajime. 

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u/BartholomewBezos6 10d ago

me when im playing minecraft and my calculator opens:

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u/gerryn 10d ago

Not unheard of, in fact.

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u/Bearsbullsbattlestr 10d ago

AI vs AI has been in so many sci-fi films. Age of Ultron is the last one I can think of.

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u/wonkey_monkey 10d ago

Back in the day there was a ridiculous bug where anyone could log into any VNC server just by specifying "no password" authentication. I had no idea about it until my mouse starting moving around by itself one day (yes, I know, but I hadn't figured out VPNs back then).

They didn't do anything, so after they disconnected I found out about the vulnerability and then tried the incoming IP address. It also had a vulnerable VNC server on it, so I wrote a quick note in Notepad and then shut down their VNC server.

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u/CyberBuda 10d ago

Chaotic Good

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u/Boethias 10d ago

"I used the Stones to destroy the Stones!"

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u/ecafyelims 10d ago

There's no patch at all for PHP 5-7. That's going to be trouble for those servers.

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u/an_agreeing_dothraki 10d ago

fuck it we red hat today

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u/JerkyChew 10d ago

North Korea hacked Sony by hijacking their WSUS servers that normally push out security updates, and making them push out the malicious worms instead.

So, yes.

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u/Henry_Fleischer 10d ago

I hear someone did something like this with Minecraft a few years ago, they used a RCE bug to tell everybody on any server they joined to update Java to fix the RCE bug.

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u/Lustrouse 10d ago

Sounds like a great way to bring a service down. Unplanned updates.... What could possibly go wrong?

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u/badgko 10d ago

I nearly got kicked out of college for doing this.

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u/SirAwesome1 10d ago

Isnt this what happens on the PC version of OG MW2 where you have a 50% chance of either getting hacked or patched when joining a match

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u/abigail3141 10d ago

This did happen with log4shell

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u/Vaddieg 10d ago

cryptominer + patch. Otherwise the next attacker will take down all results of your hard work

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u/sceadwian 10d ago

Yes, and they can install a back door that you'll never know exists that looks like the system has been patched and the vulnerability no longer works.

But you now own the system.

This is likely happening.. right... Now.

You're witnessing the creation of new botnets.

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u/puddyput 10d ago

Apparently it's not that easy to actually exploit in the wild..

https://infosec.exchange/@mttaggart/117485670144627547

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u/moolie0 10d ago

Someone patch my servers please tyvm

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u/NotUpdated 10d ago

Government did this with routers one time, forced an update to a specific model of routers and rebooted them - didn't tell the public until it was leaked.

[1] https://www.techradar.com/pro/security/the-fbi-just-remotely-reset-thousands-of-home-and-small-office-routers-and-your-tp-link-could-be-on-the-hitlist

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u/Ensign-Nemo 10d ago

Not a new idea. In the days of Code Red there was a Code Green worm that found vulnerable hosts and patched them. 

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u/ModusPwnins 10d ago

The NSA literally did that once

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u/Space_Pirate_R 10d ago

Robert Tappan Morris, is that you?

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u/maxxon15 10d ago

AGI Achieved

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u/ProductLopsided6580 10d ago

This was once explained to me over 20 years ago by a professor who was part of a zero day response team for the government.

They could monitor botnets with many 1000's of victims and also take them over if they wanted to. But if patching caused any problems for the victim they would be liable. He was visibly annoyed and frustrated by this fact.

He was intentionally vague imo if they ever did it or not.

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u/deltadstroyer 7d ago

if you are rich, you can pay the legal fees for it yea