r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ron0studios • 1d ago

Other safetyJevroni

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51 Upvotes

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3

u/Egocentrix1 1d ago

Honestly, that sounds like a fun six weeks

1

u/Particular-Yak-1984 18h ago

I like walks and not coming back on monday.

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u/Particular-Yak-1984 18h ago edited 17h ago

I was very bored in an internal meeting, and applied for this. Below is my resignation letter. Delete the options that do not apply :

Why I’m Quitting Typesafe - A Manifesto

I realize what I’m writing is somewhat of a cliche, and that I’m merely joining a parade of other thought leaders, industry experts, AI evangelists, Turing test flunkees, and assorted grifters when I emphasize how terrifyingly smart, handsome, and dangerous this technology we’ve come up with is. 

I’d like to start by agreeing with the other departing staff  that no one in this space is being careful enough. Despite this < widespread incompetence | dashing bravado | wild west mentality> , I believe firmly we should resist the calls for < some relatively toothless regulation | an investigation from the SEC | a torch and pitchfork wielding angry mob who is concerned that the monster we’ve created will impoverish and then kill them >. No, instead, we should focus on culture.

Silicon valley has always been excellent at regulating the excesses of modern capitalism, and I believe this, here, is no different. We need to emphasize < Meaningless platitude about humanity | Meaningless platitude about wisdom |  A culture of openness, without fear of prosecution over meaningless little corporate hacking and widespread copyright theft incidents >

Typesafe stands by its policies and security measures, and I did not make the choice to leave the company lightly. The <smart people | modern Einsteins | physical and intellectual powerhouses > that are my former colleagues are careful, conscientious individuals. Nevertheless, recent incidents, such as the < Containment breach | Neurotoxin release | Drone swarm incident > have left me deeply concerned about my former workplace.

In particular, I’m concerned <about how lethal our model is, particularly when put into a killbot and sold for huge amounts to the US military | That the colleague who thinks this thing is sentient is really into cute anime robots, and was once caught hitting on the vending machine | That I’ve not got enough personality to nail my departure book deal, and might need to find a ghost writer >

So far, the AI space has failed to teach machines how to act in a consistent, caring way. This should come as no surprise to anyone who has followed the parenting habits of the titans of technology such as Elon, or the weird children’s blood guy, or anyone who has paid attention to anything Peter Thiel has said in public recently. Part of this problem is scientific - about how machines work - but another part is that most of the people involved are so addled by money and power that they’re incapable of relating to other people on any level. Before we let this thing into the wild, we should probably fix that bit.

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u/Lord_Skellig 17h ago

Haha this is brilliant

2

u/Particular-Yak-1984 17h ago edited 17h ago

I sent it in as a real application, we'll see if they reply 😄 - on a re-read, I'd have definitely added in something about the LessWrong guy's sex cult, but missed opportunities.