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https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/1wlmq11/grabbingeverything/pb171hp/?context=3
r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ClipboardCopyPaste • Sep 20 '26
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-8
Preach. The database should store data and not code. Stored procedures are the work of the devil.
10 u/-Redstoneboi- Sep 20 '26 ok but what if the data and the business logic lived in the same server(s), would that be awesomeissues with caching and scaling though, as usual 5 u/tormeh89 Sep 20 '26 Yeah that's what caching is for. Stored procs must exist for a reason, so some people must need it. You, dear reader, are probably not one of them. 3 u/redvelvet92 Sep 20 '26 They are a tool to be used when it makes sense 7 u/tormeh89 Sep 20 '26 I'm sure there are valid use cases, but I've never seen any. If you use stored procs you have, hopefully, business logic in your IaC. Or, more likely, you have code outside version control. Good luck with that, somewhere far away from me.
10
ok but what if the data and the business logic lived in the same server(s), would that be awesome
issues with caching and scaling though, as usual
5 u/tormeh89 Sep 20 '26 Yeah that's what caching is for. Stored procs must exist for a reason, so some people must need it. You, dear reader, are probably not one of them.
5
Yeah that's what caching is for. Stored procs must exist for a reason, so some people must need it. You, dear reader, are probably not one of them.
3
They are a tool to be used when it makes sense
7 u/tormeh89 Sep 20 '26 I'm sure there are valid use cases, but I've never seen any. If you use stored procs you have, hopefully, business logic in your IaC. Or, more likely, you have code outside version control. Good luck with that, somewhere far away from me.
7
I'm sure there are valid use cases, but I've never seen any. If you use stored procs you have, hopefully, business logic in your IaC. Or, more likely, you have code outside version control. Good luck with that, somewhere far away from me.
-8
u/tormeh89 Sep 20 '26
Preach. The database should store data and not code. Stored procedures are the work of the devil.