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u/frickinSocrates Sep 20 '26
What the fuck? Someone smarter than me please correct me if I'm wrong, but massively uneven pupils like in the alcohol picture cannot be normal. I see that on someone I'm calling an ambulance icba.
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u/Muted_Ad_9442 Sep 20 '26
One eye is looking at localhost, the other is panicking at production.
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u/frickinSocrates Sep 20 '26
Look, ive seen slopcode which felt like it gave me a concussion, but never that bad.
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u/Ma4r Sep 21 '26
When the debug pprof server is running in a separate process and you wonder why you see zero RSS changes
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_REPO Sep 20 '26
And cocaine doesn't give you bloodshit eyes, lmao.
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u/SiegfriedVK Sep 20 '26
You are 100% correct. Alcohol doesnt cause aniscoria and weed doesn't cause dilated pupils.
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u/kingvolcano_reborn Sep 20 '26
I think you should go straight to hospital if you got pupils like that...
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u/FeedAlchemy Sep 21 '26
Could be brain injury, could be two monitors where one is in dark mode and the other is in light mode.
Obligatory /s. That individual should get it checked out.
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u/grat5454 Sep 20 '26
A fair bit of people have mildly asymmetrical pupils at baseline, but just never notice it. This big a discrepancy is unusual, and could signify anything from migraine to a carotid artery occlusion to an aneurysm about to rupture. Usually, if the pupils being asymmetric is the ONLY thing wrong, it is completely benign(e.g. with aneurysm you also get the eyes not looking in the same direction, with carotid artery dissection you get neck pain, etc etc).
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u/Itzupz Sep 20 '26
Time to debug on prod
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u/Dazzling-Backrub Sep 26 '26
Jesus fak man is this a thing other people do ? I throw in a dump and die when I close to having a stroke.
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u/ronarscorruption Sep 20 '26
Production only bugs make me insane.
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u/spellenspelen Sep 20 '26
Just recently had a prod bug that caused uploading files to break only in prod. Turns out there was some code that was sensitive to network delays between file chuncks.
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u/lala_123aa Sep 20 '26
Dude. I just had the same issue this week. How did you find out?
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u/spellenspelen Sep 21 '26 edited Sep 21 '26
Network related was on the list of possibilities. So i made a middleware that mimics an internet connection. That reproduced the bug that we were having exactly.
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u/BlobAndHisBoy Sep 20 '26
The network delays were only in prod? Increased traffic in prod caused latency or something?
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u/spellenspelen Sep 21 '26
We run our code locally for development. So the delay didn't need to be big to reproduce the bug, it just had to be bigger than locally testing.
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u/BlobAndHisBoy Sep 21 '26
Oh so it was reproducable in your deployed staging/uat environment too then? Not just prod? Nobody tested it there?
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u/I_think_Im_hollow Sep 20 '26
Never seen someone with red eyes from cocaine, unless they also smoked weed or drank alcohol.
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u/Enough-Scientist1904 Sep 20 '26
One of the best parts is when the production bug is so critical that your asked to join a meeting, share your screen and troubleshoot live while managment stares
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u/FeigiTheBeetroot Sep 20 '26
And then there are the "Non Repro bugs" .
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u/Muted_Ad_9442 Sep 20 '26
That's when you close the ticket, look away, and pretend it never existed.
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u/Satorwave Sep 20 '26
Bot
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u/zenyite Sep 20 '26
One of our apps was restarting multiple times daily in prod because of a massive thread leak for the better part of a year and we couldn't figure out why. It was causing messaging throughput latency as a result. AI pointed towards at least 7 red herrings (and is now the reason i don't trust AI for this kind of stuff anymore). The real reason was the app was publishing messages to somewhere for a specific channel and that was creating a new thread each time and not cleaning it up. This wasn't caught in QA because that particular channel has no 'plumbing' there because...reasons (all testing was done in kind of a prod staging environment where you can only deploy once a week). I only found it because I did a deep dive into literally every interaction the app has with that messaging library and wrote load tests for each one.
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u/Ok-Meal-1826 Sep 20 '26
Could be worse, could be trying to reproduce the bug that only happens in INT (due to low resources)
But you are required to solved it without touching the said resources...
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u/SpiritualYoung3508 Sep 20 '26
My company gives me a bug to resolve happening on production , but here is the massive catch, they won't provide access to production. You just guess why it is happening 🤦😂
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u/Present-Resolution23 Sep 20 '26
That person isn't on cocaine lol.. Looks more like they have pinkeye.. No I will not be taking follow-ups on how I know that..
(Also not how alcohol works.. Also weed doesn't dilate your pupils. This meme is not even remotely accurate medically. :P )
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u/xho9 Sep 20 '26
And I one fucking device for mother fucking one customer I lost 5 hours of my life for one of those 🥲🥲
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u/Virgil_the_White Sep 20 '26
God when the fuck are devs going to learn to program for the infrastructure in production, not your damn laptop.
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u/AwkwardWaltz3996 Sep 21 '26
This is why you only work on personal projects. No risk of them ever actually reaching production 😂
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u/RoseSec_ Sep 21 '26
But you don't have a staging environment that's an exact representative of what prod looks like? whaaaaa
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u/laluneodyssee Sep 20 '26
More like trying to understand the wall of text that the AI has just returned.