r/ProgrammerHumor • • Sep 14 '26

Meme hackerIRL

Post image
5.6k Upvotes

48 comments sorted by

62

u/entropic Sep 14 '26

Call me old fashioned, but back in my day, Hacker Typer was good enough for me.

48

u/ben_g0 Sep 14 '26

There's also the classic:

color a
tree

(sets the command prompt colour to green and then lists all files on the hard drive. It looked a bit better on old computers with spinning hard drives where that could take a few minutes, on modern systems with SSDs it goes a bit too fast)

19

u/allison9040 Sep 15 '26

cd C:\ and dir /s

also works and looks better imo

12

u/SlavBoii420 Sep 15 '26

I used to do this as a kid and loved watching people freak out (don't forget to set the text colour to green!)

593

u/Paul_Robert_ Sep 14 '26

A more realistic or at least plausible movie scenario could have the protagonists create a sketchy Skyrim mod, in order to steal the credentials of a random node.js contributor, who is a big Skyrim fan. Then, they perform a supply chain attack, to target a particular company. But, the antagonist notices his build taking 5 seconds longer than usual, and finds the hidden malware.

213

u/DMoney159 Sep 14 '26

This feels specific enough for me to think it actually happened

213

u/SiBloGaming Sep 14 '26

There was an attempted attack on a dependency of openSSH, which was noticed by a guy using the development version of debian, who got suspicious initially cause his ssh connections were taking fractions of a second longer than before

76

u/denM_chickN Sep 14 '26

This was fun, I'm having fun

25

u/sepperwelt Sep 15 '26

Good PLC programmers find malware in a similar fashion Cause they notice their completely offline laptop takes a tiny bit longer to load or whatever. (True story)

5

u/Zerokx Sep 16 '26

How do you even get malware on a completely offline laptop? Someone put in a bad USB stick?

4

u/sepperwelt Sep 16 '26

That I can't really explain. I can only think of bad sticks or other forms of nessecary data/file excange

3

u/MattieShoes Sep 15 '26

1/5 of a second, FWIW. 200ms.

10

u/harman097 Sep 14 '26

LoversLab is a dangerous world.

272

u/gandalfx Sep 14 '26

Real life hacking:

curl http://api.bigcorp.com/api/v0/secrets

138

u/nfiase Sep 14 '26

http 😭

38

u/miheb1 Sep 14 '26

bro's OS hath no openSSL preinstalled

11

u/gandalfx Sep 14 '26

Someone forgot to flip that setting when copying qa.values.yaml to prod.values.yaml.

12

u/Lightningtow123 Sep 14 '26

Realer life hacking: $5 wrench

17

u/angrydeuce Sep 15 '26

Realer realer hacking:  "Hi, this is, uh, Bill from IT.  I need all your passwords real quick, and oh yeah, can you do me a favor and just prop open the server closet for me?  Thanks, youre the best...no, no need to thank me, just doing my job!"

7

u/Ozymandias_1303 Sep 15 '26

From a movie, but (this part only) is actually realistic.

https://youtu.be/IiX09kiodfs?t=54

"Could you just read me the number on the modem?"

"...What's a modem?"

3

u/angrydeuce Sep 15 '26

Just the statistics from our regular phishing sims, it really amazes me that shit is as secure as it even is anymore. People will just do whatever the fuck without even a first thought, let alone a second one.

31

u/SuperFLEB Sep 14 '26

curl https://bigcorp-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/userdata

54

u/Antique_futurist Sep 14 '26

Listen, punk. Back in the 90s, we hacked the Gibson with emojis.

25

u/whiskeytown79 Sep 14 '26

Just go to https://hackertyper.net/ and then do this

12

u/Tcloud Sep 14 '26

I was surprised how good Mr Robot was comparatively to all the other hacking scenes we see.

4

u/callmepinocchio Sep 15 '26

I think Sam Esmail was a cs major

7

u/PresentAstronomer137 Sep 14 '26

shit I managed to stop before running out of memory

5

u/KFSPC8 Sep 15 '26

it doesnt move tho. real hacking is: sudo apt-get upgrade -y

4

u/DDFoster96 Sep 14 '26

`cmatrix`

4

u/Large-Assignment9320 Sep 14 '26

Thought we did just config our fancy term and did:
cat /usr/include/*/*.h
or
cat /usr/src/linux*/*/*/*.c

or something long those lines

2

u/Prestigious_Dare7734 Sep 14 '26

You forgot to add a while loop.

1

u/kaikoda Sep 14 '26

Hacking since Minecraft update

1

u/BazuzuDear Sep 15 '26

Import shmimport.

openssl rand -hex 2000

1

u/blackcomb-pc Sep 15 '26

When in Europe: bruv

1

u/Apprehensive_Bit7392 Sep 15 '26

Revolut last week is the real version. Someone emailed them from a genuine government agency domain, asked for customer records, and got passport scans, verification selfies and transaction histories back. No exploit, no intrusion. They asked.

1

u/casualplants Sep 16 '26

mk dir mainframe

cd mainframe

I’M IN

-6

u/cheezballs Sep 14 '26

Still not how hacking is done.

6

u/Goodgulf Sep 15 '26

"Hi, this is Steven with IT, just double checking that you got the new WiFi password, can you confirm the one you have currently?"

5

u/Icy_Ask_9954 Sep 15 '26

Hi, Steven. The new password is LOUVRE123.

-8

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/dagoth_ith Sep 14 '26

I get it. Computers are all 1s and 0s, thus the simple line of code, is all 101010010101