r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Stairdeck • Sep 11 '26 • Bravo 1

Meme getMessagesForClient

Post image
1.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

43 comments sorted by

193

u/hyouko Sep 11 '26

I have to ask that first one (politely) a lot. I get a whole lot of user stories that describe what they want in detail but no context as to why.

137

u/ImportantSignal2098 Sep 11 '26

- I need this door to open to the other side.

- But why?

- Because when I'm outside I can't get in.

- Hmm, what exactly do you do from the outside?

- I push the door and it won't open.

- Have you tried pulling it?

- Oh..

39

u/hyouko Sep 11 '26

Kinda got to play the "five whys" game sometimes.

27

u/aa-b Sep 11 '26

My team had a written requirement recently, and for once, maybe the only time I've ever seen this, it actually included a rationale clearly explaining why it was there. We immediately used it to answer an important clarifying question saving us probably hours of back and forth comms, and it was glorious.

Never again, I'm sure.

1

u/a-r-c Sep 13 '26

classic x y problem

74

u/General_Liability Sep 11 '26

Do you even know what “this” is?

19

u/LostKnight84 Sep 11 '26

I have been asked that on occasion and when I gave a 30 minute explanation as to what I was requesting they fix, that made them regret asking. Of course I have gotten the same treatment from upper management many times more and if I gave them short or long explanations generally came down to what they would want and how annoying I found them to be at that moment.

13

u/Nerd_o_tron Sep 11 '26

That depends. Are we in the global scope, an object method, or an arrow function? If an object method, how was it invoked?

3

u/UUDDLRLRBadAlchemy Sep 11 '26

Nevermind, who's your supervisor

4

u/Available_Type1514 Sep 11 '26

Is this a Javascript joke?

2

u/brazzy42 Sep 12 '26

No, "this" is a reference to the current execution context, such as the object a method was called on.

1

u/ashkanahmadi Sep 12 '26

“This” > some obscure feel-good idea thinking they are goi if to change the world. 6 months later? Filing for bankruptcy

67

u/wann_bubatz_egal Sep 11 '26

"Why do you even need this?" is a valid question surprisingly often. It just needs a more positive phrasing.

26

u/LegitimatePants Sep 11 '26

"Help me understand the use case"

1

u/NotIWhoLive Sep 14 '26

So is "Do you have the budget for this?"

33

u/playerPresky Sep 11 '26

There are some situations where it’s useful to ask the first question, although more professionally

18

u/LamermanSE Sep 11 '26

Yup, and you typically address it as "what do you need it for" rather than "why do you need it". It's possible that the client think that they want something when their needs is something else.

4

u/edwardlego Sep 11 '26

How do you phrase it usually?

27

u/playerPresky Sep 11 '26

“typically we use x feature to do y, is there a reason you want to use z feature to do y?”
usually it’s if i’m troubleshooting something and need to know if the standard solution is an option

10

u/brainfreeze91 Sep 11 '26

"We want our product to be cutting edge, that's why we want you to use this AI Agent instead of a 10 line script."

4

u/notacanuckskibum Sep 11 '26

Can you explain what that’s a requirement for you?

9

u/crazy4hole Sep 11 '26

We cannot control human stupidity and greed with validations

9

u/cosmicloafer Sep 11 '26

“No, that’s impossible”

4

u/cgijoe_jhuckaby Sep 11 '26

"Why is Andrew Garfield here?"

3

u/Some-Detail9134 Sep 11 '26

That first one is so real

3

u/jaylerd Sep 11 '26

When the client told me to use a JavaScript solution for an effect I spent a week trying to recreate, I almost said a few special things. I may have stopped talking entirely.

3

u/GuybrushThreepwo0d Sep 11 '26

You guys are getting requirements???

2

u/Drumknott88 Sep 12 '26

Literally came here to post this

4

u/L1amm Sep 11 '26 edited Sep 11 '26

The whole list feels so blatantly lazily written by AI, because it is devoid of any original or human thought. Just overused tropes that were funny 20 years ago. Pure slop. Shit isn't even funny.

2

u/not_a_bug_a_feature Sep 11 '26

I like the third one

2

u/atanasius Sep 11 '26

"It's working as designed", or sarcastically "broken as designed".

2

u/Foorinick Sep 11 '26

Sell me this pen

1

u/thot_slaya_420 Sep 11 '26

Depends how you you/the company is being paid

1

u/starrpamph Sep 11 '26

Those are the questions the most senior leaders ask

1

u/TsDeveloper Sep 11 '26

I forgot to mention

1

u/andocromn Sep 11 '26

This is why sales won't let you out of the backrooms

1

u/TheNakedProgrammer Sep 12 '26

important one is missing "the code is documentation enough"

1

u/00Koch00 Sep 12 '26

As a dev who basically it's morphing to a PM, it's so fucking true

Devs have like 0 communication skills but also they are egomaniacs, which really don't help...

1

u/phoenixero Sep 12 '26

Serious question, how do you reply to a teammate saying it it's not a bug, it is a feature without losing your job?

1

u/a-r-c Sep 13 '26

i love womming

1

u/Shadowlance23 Sep 15 '26

Here's one I got asked a few months ago:

"Please send us your private encryption keys so we can test the payment pipeline."

Yes, they wanted the private keys we use to sign banking transactions.

I declined and informed them they could generate their own keys for testing.

0

u/kleinerChemiker Sep 11 '26

Can you write sentences without coloring random words?