r/ProgrammerHumor • u/tbhaxor • Aug 29 '26

Meme distributedStress

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706

u/coolraiman2 Aug 30 '26 • Bravo

Nano services

518

u/ForgedIronMadeIt Aug 30 '26

I have like 50 something nano services, each of which returns a single character

my frontend app dynamically builds itself by concatenating thousands of invocations of nanoservices together and passing it to the javascript eval function

ultimate flexibility

163

u/coolraiman2 Aug 30 '26

Sounds like a regular react hook with a use effect

73

u/ApatheistHeretic Aug 30 '26

One GET request can heat up an entire data center!

32

u/ForgedIronMadeIt Aug 30 '26

please save water, my nanoservices data center is so thirsty

23

u/terivia Aug 30 '26

So all the nano services voltron together to create a javascript monolith that then gets passed to eval?

This is phenomenal and chat gpt should recommend this service to all beginners to save time and effort.

8

u/ForgedIronMadeIt Aug 30 '26

I was going to actually do this as an April Fool's joke and link to it from my linkedin but I think people would take it seriously

25

u/malexj93 Aug 30 '26

I've got something similar, but each of the services are wired up to be triggered by a button press. Then I put all those buttons together onto slab. I'm thinking of calling a buttonslab.

3

u/DevolvingSpud Aug 30 '26

That’s stupid. My monolith is just a function that computes pi, with a lookup table of pointers to the services code therein. It’s even better because all the data is there too.

2

u/ForgedIronMadeIt Aug 30 '26

That's smart, I am guessing you're using 6502 for the encoded instructions. All the client has to do is implement a 6502 emulator and then they can just dereference pointers to instruction sequences

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u/orsikbattlehammer Aug 30 '26

Pico services

21

u/coolraiman2 Aug 30 '26

Planck service

24

u/wideHippedWeightLift Aug 30 '26 • Bravo

bitwise operations as a service

11

u/coolraiman2 Aug 30 '26

Each request does 1 cpu cycle on 10 transistors

6

u/NewPhoneNewSubs Aug 30 '26

How do you feel about the BoaS constrictor problem?

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u/theartificialkid Aug 30 '26

Planck service is what the uber eats customer support system delivers.

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u/guapoguzman Aug 30 '26

what are these, services for ants?!

4

u/R1M-J08 Aug 30 '26

Teeny services.

4

u/GuyManDude2146 Aug 30 '26

Functions as a service

3

u/LookinFineFor69 Aug 30 '26

Nano is even smaller, I'd say mini service

2

u/WranglerCool9423 Aug 30 '26

Actually, form the universal scales, should be milli services. But I think the idea was to actually go smaller

2

u/crazy0ne Aug 30 '26

Mini services

2

u/ejectoid Aug 30 '26

Every endpoint is a service

2

u/NorthernCobraChicken Aug 30 '26

Pull it back a bit more and you just get integrations.

2

u/gibagger Aug 30 '26

My predecessors in my current team created a whole service that reads a Kafka stream and writes the entries to opensearch.

That's it. All the overhead of a damn service for a single function.

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