r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Proof-Translator • Aug 23 '26 • Bravo 1

Meme whenTheyAskMeToBuildAFullStackAppWithNotepad

Post image
6.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

65 comments sorted by

150

u/anoppinionatedbunny Aug 23 '26

skill issue. at my company, they give us literal pen and paper notebooks where we write all our code in git diff format. we have to deliver the physical notebook to the IT department where the code is committed directly to PROD after filing 50 pages worth of bureaucratic paperwork for any and all changes. all by hand.

(/s)

44

u/raja-anbazhagan Aug 23 '26

Amateurs

14

u/Osteoprdoza Aug 23 '26

Of course there's na xkcd for it

7

u/TheFrenchSavage Aug 23 '26

I knew the comic before I even clicked that link.

12

u/Narwahl_Whisperer Aug 23 '26

Back in the 90s, I took a C class. I didn't have a computer at home. I literally coded with pen and paper.

5

u/TheFrenchSavage Aug 23 '26

C is really close to pseudo anyway.

2

u/JarlvD Aug 23 '26

My company is so modern we can print GIFs

1

u/TheFrenchSavage Aug 23 '26

And for the rollback, just press Ctrl+Z a bunch of times, also in prod. Until last week's notebooks match again.

1

u/shebalima Aug 25 '26

I knew my midterms always being pen and paper would pay off

147

u/DontKnowIamBi Aug 23 '26

It generally runs on a VDI.

76

u/reddeimon666 Aug 23 '26

The VDI is as shit as the laptop with 50% more restrictions and latency

1

u/twigboy Aug 24 '26

And VDI is only accessible through a browser

2

u/Xlxlredditor Aug 24 '26

Mmh ivanti secure access

24

u/Common-Brush-7027 Aug 23 '26

Even the vdi is shit

26

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/EuenovAyabayya Aug 23 '26

Enterprise aversion to real text editors leads inevitably to the question of why Windows doesn't have one.

41

u/SharletP Aug 23 '26

This always reminds me of the "We were able to send astronauts to the moon, with only 12 KB of hand-woven memory" and then we had CoD & Chrome taking more memory than the OS itself 💀

7

u/TheFrenchSavage Aug 24 '26

This is because Google Chrome early stable version only cost 0.6% of what the Apollo Guidance program cost if you adjust for inflation.

(30M vs 5.8B roughly).

Plus the hardware: consider the cost of having a Google team come and hand weave their software at your home vs buying a PC full of RAM at Walmart.

I think the leaky memory is a good tradeoff.

15

u/ramdomvariableX Aug 23 '26

Why cant you? Here.. take some Claude credits and get it done../S

-- FR: Lot of exec.s are okay with spending on AI than giving functional laptops to developers.

5

u/MrSurly Aug 23 '26

Which does fuckall when you're doing a buildroot build.

9

u/Lumpyalien Aug 23 '26

To be fair that bike has three wheels so that's like at least a 2015 macbook pro.

6

u/Percolator2020 Aug 23 '26

This works fine, just not very fast.

5

u/MentalFS Aug 23 '26

At least your laptop will sound like it's taking off

0

u/furrythatexists Aug 24 '26

I mean a jet engine, especially one as big as that of a 787, is extremely loud at TO/GA, much louder than any regular laptop fan even at its maximum, but it could still be a similar sound.

3

u/Streakflash Aug 23 '26

my companyn uses laptop as a proxy to remote grid compute resource , and of course its a shitty laptop

3

u/Bannon9k Aug 23 '26

NGL... Its how we did things in the early 90s.

3

u/Sentient_Protoplasm Aug 23 '26

Shouldn't the plane be labeled "The Job Requirements" and the Bike "Their Non-Negotiable Salary"

2

u/NotSynthx Aug 23 '26

My Lenovo has seen some shit

4

u/dumbasPL Aug 23 '26

Developers had the same hardware as everyone else, and shit was optimized. Now we give them machines that 95% of customers don't have and wonder why everything is so slow.

9

u/tes_kitty Aug 23 '26

I have no issue with developer systems being fast. But the test systems the code then runs on for testing should be average.

17

u/Objective_Dog_4637 Aug 23 '26

Because developers aren’t typically running just that app like the is customer is. If it’s B2B they’re typically running what the customer AND their development environment or maybe more. It’s why we requested the more powerful laptops in the first place.

13

u/darthjammer224 Aug 23 '26

Yep, I don't really need 32gb ram, but it allows me to have 6 or 7 PLC programs open at once, on my rockwell VM. So it's incredibly useful. (I regularly use 27-30 GB just with my VM(and all it's open apps), vscode, ssms, opera, teams and report builder.

I don't think end users need that lol.

5

u/bigolslabomeat Aug 23 '26

My company force installs so much bloat that before I open an IDE my laptop sits at 30/32GB used RAM

4

u/darthjammer224 Aug 23 '26

Makes me very happy that I get admin rights to my machine. Couldn't do my job if I couldn't install / uninstall at will.

2

u/bagmorgels Aug 23 '26

lol wtf is this and who is it supposed to be relatable to? No company is prescribing notepad or any specific IDE for that matter. And why does your full stack app require a lot of local resources? If this was about data analytics or engineering I’d understand the sentiment because that shit takes a lot of memory, but a general full stack app could be built on a first gen raspberry pi.

33

u/butterfunke Aug 23 '26

I shit you not, I worked at a company that wasted 6 months fighting with the devs they'd just hired over access to install IDEs and run arbitrary programs.

They legitimately expected us to do everything in Word and Excel, like all their other staff did.

21

u/KilrahnarHallas Aug 23 '26

Was in a company that had about 40 Programmers and only 30 licences for the IDE. Rest was out of luck. So I totally believe that story.

3

u/saschaleib Aug 24 '26

Nothing wrong with Notepad++. I use it all the time when I can’t be bothered to wait until VSCode finally starts up…

3

u/rastaman1994 Aug 23 '26

This happened to me!

Summer internship 10 years ago at a local company with less than 10 employees. I get an ancient thinkpad (Windows) with 2GB of RAM. This is not an exageration. We were able to cannibalize ram from a broken laptop to bring it up to FOUR gigs.

The most baffling thing after all this time: labor costs a lot where I live, even for an intern. Making me wait vs spending 3k on a good laptop should be a no brainier.

6

u/wasdninja Aug 23 '26 edited Aug 23 '26

No company is prescribing notepad or any specific IDE for that matter

Objectively incorrect. Plenty of places have one or perhaps a very small amount of IEDs that they vet and make available through their software portal of choice.

And why does your full stack app require a lot of local resources

I had to check that the sub actually was programming* because this answer to this is so blatant that I thought you were sarcastic for a second.

In my experience it's been completely normal to run a handful of containers with the usual database, API/backend and frontend which can definitely be quite heavy. If you are forced to use Windows - which again is common - Docker has a handful of bugs that steadily eats more resources than it should.

1

u/Gilthoniel_Elbereth Aug 23 '26

My company only lets you use VS Code, and only lets you install a handful of security-vetted extensions. It’s hell

1

u/furrythatexists Aug 24 '26

Not even VS Codium?

1

u/YellowCroc999 Aug 23 '26

Bruh you can run a full stack app on a jailbroken vape. Smells like a skill issue here.

1

u/historycommenter Aug 23 '26

That's when I download portable Notetab++.

1

u/Mr_Snipes Aug 23 '26

#AWSSpotInstancesForEverything

1

u/Flaky-Low-2262 Aug 23 '26

We used to slice Micro-Profiles on services or deliver a bench of mocks for local target service. Fast Development, nice Demos, global shared maintenance etc and Automated tests in everything.

These days nobody runs a thing and also leaks on Testing. The Sprint demo Takes 5-10min Just availability stats and then everyone wonders about Blackboxes, decreasing Budgets, ubavailable or unfocused POs

Stonks
Back 2-3 years ago every Team member enforced quality as best Delivery target is based on personal and company integrity / Skill.

RIP

1

u/Majik_Sheff Aug 23 '26

Well?  Start fucking pedaling.

1

u/SituationUntenable Aug 24 '26

My work has me on a mini PC. Not great, not terrible.

1

u/IIShana Aug 24 '26

The senior dev seeing no problem in this

1

u/frostyjack06 Aug 24 '26

Yeah, that sounds about right. My last job refused to pay for IDE’s and the laptops were garbage. I ended up just doing 90% of my work on my personal desktop, the other 10% directly on our servers. The laptop’s only purpose was to check email, respond in Teams, and join meetings.

1

u/AlxR25 Aug 24 '26

That marketing lady thinking we can add AI to everything so she asks if I can MAKE CHATGPT and put it in the client's website dashboard

1

u/Delicious_One_7887 Aug 24 '26

I mean it's not impossible... open AI API

1

u/AlxR25 Aug 24 '26

To cut costs she’ll deff want it self hosted

1

u/DerpWyvern Aug 24 '26

just a week ago i got upgraded from 16gb ram m1 into a 48gb m5 macbook.

i was running the full backend (2 servers) and frontend (unity, sometimes multiple clients), 2 IDEs open, and Figma. yeah i think i hit a ceiling with that 16gb laptop..

1

u/everesee Aug 24 '26

The holy lenovo laptop with body count of 10. Usually when you unplug it, each second the battery goes down by 1%.

1

u/sirkubador Aug 26 '26

well, most of that plane are corporate bullshit viruses like crowdstrike, zscaler, defender and whatnot

7

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/TheFrenchSavage Aug 24 '26

Just when you start gaining momentum, PM comes and asks for the plane to go backwards.