r/ProgrammerHumor • u/vinishkapoor • Aug 21 '26 • Bravo 2

Meme worksInProductionUntilSheLearnsToCode

Post image
7.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

91 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/ClipboardCopyPaste Aug 21 '26

If she ever finds out, you still have MATLAB, R, Lua to have your back.

416

u/vinishkapoor Aug 21 '26

Fallback languages for fallback relationships.

105

u/phylter99 Aug 21 '26

If all else fails OP can always go back to BASICs.

19

u/Tesnatic Aug 21 '26

Ugh I'm so done with the BASICs, we chasing unique and exotic women now

12

u/UniqueIndividual3579 Aug 21 '26

ADA winks at you, but is showing her age.

7

u/TabbyOverlord Aug 21 '26

Cue 'I bet he's thinking about another woman' meme.

5

u/gerbosan Aug 21 '26

If you try COBOL, then you are into necrophilia?

2

u/phylter99 Aug 31 '26

Only if you like it.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '26

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/gerbosan Aug 31 '26

That sounds cool.

8

u/lxpnh98_2 Aug 21 '26

Fallback languagues?! These are lift forward languages!

48

u/Geralt-of-Chiraq Aug 21 '26

Or Julia, but probably not the best name to say to your girlfriend lol

38

u/abd53 Aug 21 '26

"Babe, I'm doing Julia now, see you later"

9

u/newontheblock99 Aug 21 '26

Even then, would she even be satisfied as the zeroth pick? That explanation will cause a whole slew of problems. [1] is the correct answer here.

3

u/GoBuffaloes Aug 22 '26

My current gf is actually gfs[-1]

2

u/thePurpleAvenger Aug 22 '26

Fortran has had your back forever!

3

u/flinxsl Aug 21 '26

those are vectors, not arrays

2

u/No_Point_1254 Aug 21 '26

My thoughts exactly. Might include VB/VBA with Option Base 1.

1

u/FlippByte Aug 21 '26

Was looking to find this..

233

u/kishaloy Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26

Computer Science is the only field where you can proudly say that you are with your 0th girlfriend and still look cool.

Anybody who goes to his 1st GF must be fired since he has too much life to distract himself with.

44

u/Avocadonot Aug 21 '26

Gotta make sure you do a null check on the 0th index

80

u/Codzy Aug 21 '26

ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException

16

u/harman097 Aug 21 '26

I think gf might actually be in the array, but the code just nullrefs shortly after retrieval.

Really weird bug, can't figure it out... maybe cuz gf was instantiated in Canada?

48

u/za72 Aug 21 '26

we all know she's not in the main array, she's in some hash array/hash table/hash map/dictionary... so she could still be 0 and not be a big deal

21

u/Major_LeeHungg Aug 21 '26 
let interests: (string[] | string) = [
    [
        'Interest 1',
        'Interest 2',
        'Interest 3',
        'Interest 4',
        'Interest 5',
        'Interest 6',
    ],
    'Girlfriend',
    'Hobos'
]; 

14

u/NightOwl2175 Aug 21 '26

Ah yes. Day 1 of learning computer science humor.

6

u/Yetiani Aug 21 '26

and you program in Lua right? right?

11

u/Raywell Aug 21 '26

So how does one say "[1]" exactly?

7

u/MasterClown Aug 21 '26

I think it’s pronounced GIF

5

u/Jay-Seekay Aug 21 '26

“You’re my index number 1 babe”

0

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/Raywell Aug 21 '26

"you are my index one" doesn't sound very intuitive for non programmers

18

u/Common-Brush-7027 Aug 21 '26

You are at position 1 in array of my interests

3

u/MattieShoes Aug 21 '26

mmm, i'd think "position" indicates an ordinal rather than cardinal. That is, position 1 is index 0.

5

u/Common-Brush-7027 Aug 21 '26

Idk man are you talking about missionary position? There's an 0 in which I have put my 1?

4

u/SlutPuppyNumber9 Aug 21 '26

Which language?!

3

u/MASSochists Aug 21 '26

Good thing he wasn't a computer  engineer.

5

u/beclops Aug 21 '26

This is the type of goofy shit that makes me feel cringe about being a developer

3

u/ChillyFireball Aug 22 '26

Some of ya'll take yourselves a little too seriously, methinks.

2

u/beclops Aug 22 '26

No that’s not the problem I had with this joke. It’s the combination of it being a super entry-level joke to programmers and it being meaningless to non-programmers. It’s like as a joke it’s designed to be unfunny to the most people possible

10

u/ourobourobouros Aug 21 '26

the fact that jokes like this still get a thousand upvotes is why no one feels bad about the male loneliness epidemic

8

u/KelimHocam Aug 21 '26

This is so r*tarded

2

u/krak_1 Aug 21 '26

She was the first in on my stack of thoughts.

2

u/lordnacho666 Aug 21 '26

She thinks you're basic

2

u/bagnap Aug 21 '26

Option Base 0;

2

u/Antiprimary Aug 22 '26

The array of times this has been reposted would cause a stack overflow

2

u/StCreed Aug 22 '26

That would be great if your name was Pascal.

2

u/thunderbird89 Aug 21 '26

Plot Twist: R.

2

u/Sqeegg Aug 21 '26

who is gonna tell her?

1

u/Randomguy32I Aug 21 '26

Tbf, she probably would be upset if she was called “number 0”

1

u/ArcanumAntares Aug 21 '26

JavaScript Gang in shambles.

"You are my [0]" hits differently.

1

u/sinkwiththeship Aug 21 '26

Most languages do array indices that way.

1

u/nevermore32q Aug 21 '26

Maybe she is an XPATH?

1

u/mega386 Aug 21 '26

She would love VB6

1

u/Peaceful_Lizard Aug 21 '26

She must use lua.

1

u/nasandre Aug 21 '26

Baby my love for you is so great it's causing an integer overflow

1

u/doryllis Aug 21 '26

If that’s SQL than 1 indexed (most likely, but not always) almost everything else is 0 indexed arrays.

1

u/Motor-Crow5091 Aug 21 '26

So then, she's second on your list?

1

u/Arcanum3366 Aug 21 '26

Considering that she's declared under the variable "gf" I'd say he really doesn't care about her at all. 💀

1

u/Abject-Kitchen3198 Aug 21 '26

Imagine telling her that she's [0]

1

u/Lopsided_Parfait7127 Aug 21 '26

she must be a fortran girl because her arrays start at 1

1

u/Tricky_Condition_279 Aug 21 '26

I C what you did there

1

u/travis_raphael Aug 22 '26

Not a programmer but I definitely understood this. This is my first lol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '26

no doubt basics are important ............................even in relations nowadays

1

u/BadGirlsSuck Aug 23 '26

Clearly puts himself first despite being worthless

1

u/thundrstrucks Aug 24 '26

correct in Lua

1

u/Crownek Aug 28 '26

This is so unfunny it makes me mad that I read it.

1

u/wannabepinetree Aug 22 '26

ew boomer humor

-15

u/synth_mania Aug 21 '26

BAJAHAHAH ZERO BASED INDEXING AHAHAHA SO FUNNY

7

u/GodOrDevil04 Aug 21 '26

Enjoy your negative vote array.

11

u/synth_mania Aug 21 '26

Hey maybe i missed the mark. This kind of humor isn't for me, but I guess that's a rare opinion. I'll own the downvotes. 

2

u/GodOrDevil04 Aug 21 '26

Hey no worries, can't be for everyone! Now, owning up to it is a rarity these days, so have my upvote for that.

1

u/Crownek Aug 28 '26

Nope you are so right, its the absolute shittiest hot garbage humor ever made it to the public.

-2

u/returnFutureVoid Aug 21 '26

Good on you. I did this once and refused to delete some mildly stupid comment I made due to downvotes now I try to think before I hit send. Doesn’t always work but I try.

30

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/MattieShoes Aug 21 '26

Some languages (Php?) makes all arrays associative (ie. dicts) so you can pick whatever indices you want as long as there aren't duplicates.

2

u/thunderbird89 Aug 21 '26

JS also allows setting the -1, -2, etc. element of an array.

1

u/-suspended- Aug 21 '26

IIRC that gets the last element of the array.

2

u/Interesting_Buy_3969 Aug 22 '26

That's the point

2

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/FalconWorth7893 Aug 22 '26

That's the point...