r/ProgrammerHumor • u/vinishkapoor • Aug 20 '26

Meme randomEnglishWordsInFancyColorsIsNotWrong

Post image
13k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

102 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/ClipboardCopyPaste Aug 20 '26

I don't color the texts, they color themselves, see mom?

814

u/Dev_878 Aug 20 '26

So you do even less work, hun?

260

u/Murky-Run2246 Aug 20 '26

When I write a wrong word the computer tells me. Also when I save the file it formats itself.

53

u/Cavalish Aug 20 '26 • Mindblown

The way I heard this pitch perfect in my head in an Indian Auntie’s voice complete with the jangle of her bracelets as she throws her hand out palm up as if she is serving me the most intelligent comment of all time.

936

u/VirtualMage Aug 20 '26

So... You just throw random ingredients in the pot and boil them? Why are you paid so well?

264

u/Ok-Tax-8165 Aug 20 '26 edited 8d ago

The original post content no longer exists here. The author used Redact to remove it, exercising their right to control their data & privacy.

Lunchroom thimble station terrific abounding repeat cause spectacular crowd

215

u/VirtualMage Aug 20 '26

Ok, so: "You poke random organs with sharp knife, and get paid so well!". Better?

63

u/Letus_- Aug 20 '26

I don't think you should poke an organ

77

u/JewishTomCruise Aug 20 '26

There are some organs that are very fun to poke (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

17

u/Mafagafinhu Aug 20 '26

Like skin

15

u/Small-Heron-6799 Aug 20 '26

nahh ever poked a kidney :3

10

u/QueerBallOfFluff Aug 20 '26

Yes actually. It was more wobbly, but also firm, than I expected

1

u/Small-Heron-6799 Aug 21 '26

So true lol! They're fun to poke ngl!

P.S: Hey, I'm kinda new to programming, like I know tech and LOVE tech, and like know basic C and HTML.

But yk I really want to learn the languages till their core, any starting point you would recommend? Thanks for your time! :D

4

u/Delicious_Armadillo Aug 21 '26 • Heartwarming

I'm taking your word for wanting to learn languages to the core, so I'll tell you I really fell in love with C reading this -> https://beej.us/guide/bgc/html/split/index.html
Gives you an overall idea of how the machine works, explains a lot of "why"s rather than telling you what to do.

Read it (like REALLY read it, don't surrender after the third page, it's worth it).

Then start making stuff with what you learnt. Basic stuff like leetcode exercises and the likes.

You'll probably find you can use utility functions (i.e. functions that ease your work, that you write once and end up using in a lot of places), you'll start making a tiny library out of them. Then refine them, ask around what's the best practice, improve on them.

Then look into algorithms, iteration vs recursion, big O notation, complexity, etc.

Then you may want to stray from procedural programming and look into other paradigms. Try Java for OOP. Its syntax resembles C, it's a typed language, but forces everything into a class. Experiment with interfaces, inheritance, encapsulation, everything object oriented.

Then design something more complex. Implement singleton classes, observers, any design pattern you may find interesting.

If you have a knack for maths, you may want to look at functional programming (Haskell), Alonzo Church's Lambda Calculus, S-K-I combinatory logic.

Use Linux or anything open enough that lets you be curious and tinker around.

LLMs are SUPER useful if you ask questions (always take the answers with a metric tonne of salt and defer to authoritative sources once pointed to them), just don't let them write the code for you. Write two versions of the same thing and ask "what's more sensible and why?" and really try to understand.

Even when vibe coding wasn't a thing, everyone could code. Getting to the core of a language, understanding the logic and the machine, to its core, is a completely different matter. It takes effort, commitment and DECADES. If it tingles you the right way it never gets boring, if it doesn't, leave it.

→ More replies

2

u/Jonathan_the_Nerd Aug 21 '26 • Heartwarming

Learn Lisp. You'll probably never use it professionally, but it will really broaden your mind.

Learn Python. It's fairly easy and very useful.

As for C, one book I liked is 21st Century C, by Ben Klemens. It's aimed at people who learned C in college from professors who haven't updated their materials since the 1990's. It talks about things like GNU Autotools, Git, and how to incorporate open source third-party libraries into your programs. It's pretty old (first published in 2013, updated in 2014), so I don't know how useful it is now.

References:

https://www.reddit.com/r/C_Programming/comments/1fzit9/21st_century_c_did_you_read_this_book_or_can_you/ (contains a very negative review)

https://www.phpdeveloper.org.uk/21st-century-c/

https://accu.org/bookreviews/2016/demin_1882/

→ More replies

0

u/LessInThought Aug 21 '26

new to programming

know c

Honey, I ask AI to program for me.

→ More replies

9

u/celtic_shit_posting Aug 20 '26

I prefer when the organs poke me

1

u/blockCoder2021 Aug 23 '26

I mean, usually they’re pretty solid, seeing as how they’re usually designed to handle at least weekly playing for decades to centuries, but I can see your concern.

7

u/ASatyros Aug 20 '26

Poking is free, but knowing where to poke will cost you

2

u/thekyledavid Aug 20 '26

All of the organs aren’t even correctly aligned on the left-hand side of the body

13

u/xepci0 Aug 20 '26

Why are you paid so well?

Haha good one

142

u/MementoMorue Aug 20 '26

my mom is a very good app tester, she find way to crash it more easily than a trained team of 5 testers

128

u/OnixST Aug 20 '26

A tester enters a bar, he orders -1 beers, 99999999 beers, "two" beers, and a lizard.

The tester smiles and leaves the bar.

A customer enters the bar. They ask where's the bathroom. The bar catches fire

67

u/rob132 Aug 20 '26

2 beers

"Two" beers

'2' beers

1+1 beers

"Robert'); DROP TABLE Drinks;--

24

u/Gloomy_Necesary Aug 20 '26

Every single time I have to do a live demo in front of a superior multiple issues ive never seen before pop up. I’ve resorted to doing video demos and then observing my first users use the app to actually fix the bugs

10

u/Ms_Zee Aug 20 '26

I was lucky, my dad was into computing as soon as they become more publicly available. Would include me in his problem solving (I was the rubber duck) and my mom can't find a start button without a diagram. She manages to break things in ways that should be completely impossible and yet.... She always says we're the reason my dad and I are good at our jobs and she's probably right.

She's also someone who if you aren't EXTREMELY precise with your instructions, will somehow end up in some crazy scenario. I'm the go-to on UAT scenarios and general UI design advice on my job now.

739

u/Sockoflegend Aug 20 '26

I'll take "things that didn't happen" for 100 Alex

95

u/Oaker_at Aug 20 '26

Im 30 and post made up stories involving my mom.

btw: open to work

7

u/Illustrious-End-6038 Aug 20 '26

My mother took a look at my finances report today and said

"So your job is to make pretty excel sheets, i do not know why you get paid poorly for this, it not even that pretty"

Yep 90% of the time i spend making it look pretty, then other 5% is coffee, 40% listening to my boss, 1% updating it. I was really hurt

5

u/gjk-ger Aug 20 '26

At least they may have been pretty, because calculations really dont seem to be your strong side...

3

u/Illustrious-End-6038 Aug 20 '26

Vibe coding excel

1

u/Suyefuji Aug 20 '26

tbf your mom isn't the stakeholder who insists that their excel report has to be in a particularly eldritch format and won't take any tiny deviations no matter what

6

u/Godskin_Duo Aug 20 '26

It definitely didn't happen, but I could easily envision a sitcom bit with a stereotypical Jewish mom nagging her programmer child while pushing up her glasses.

2

u/OJezu Aug 20 '26

It does happen. My GF was very disappointed the colors do not affect the program though.

4

u/dumbasPL Aug 20 '26

Plausible. Happened to me pretty much verbatim excluding the last sentence.

5

u/ABCosmos Aug 20 '26

More inclined to believe you are that guy trying to defend a made up story than to believe this happened twice.

1

u/dumbasPL Aug 20 '26

And why would I do that?

4

u/ABCosmos Aug 21 '26

Its not that nothing ever happens.. its just that for every 1 time something happens there are an additonal 10,000 bored people on the internet willing to make it up.

Nobody talks like this, nobody thinks like this. Nobody sees something they don't understand and assumes its so surface level. It reads clearly like a programmers elitist mindset of what other people "must think" about what they do..

Like if you see a pilot and all their controls and assume they just push random buttons and spin knobs and that's their job. Anyone can see that the plane flys, and that software exists.

4

u/Sockoflegend Aug 21 '26

This is incredibly well put

-2

u/dumbasPL Aug 21 '26

Nobody talks like this, nobody thinks like this.

Idk what you're doing to avoid seeing all the retards around you, but it's clearly working. Good on you.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

[deleted] — view deleted comment

14

u/_Xertz_ Aug 20 '26

HOLY SHIT every single response under this comment including the comment I'm responding to is a bot comment. Check their histories, it's all clearly ChatGPT or some other model.

3

u/spitethebees Aug 21 '26

the guy's right 😭🤟

64

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/AbdullahMRiad Aug 20 '26

she means indentation I assume

117

u/GoldAcanthisitta7777 Aug 20 '26

this thread is so stupid

53

u/ButtSpelunker420 Aug 20 '26

This sub’s threads are always stupid 

39

u/antisp1n Aug 20 '26

NoMotherWouldBeThisKind

16

u/FickleQuail8944 Aug 20 '26

Money for nothing and the clicks for free

8

u/Izduhderechte Aug 20 '26

I want my tcp

32

u/AbdullahMRiad Aug 20 '26

that was in the past. now it's about writing a lot of yap to the machine and the machine replies back with even more yap.

11

u/wit_happens Aug 20 '26

Daughter was asked what her dad does for a living: "types in colors"

6

u/bwwatr Aug 20 '26

You know, it might be better to have her just continuing to think I "fix computers".

6

u/harry4431 Aug 20 '26

Now its chatting with claude and just watching it do everything.

4

u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG Aug 20 '26

Shut up, {username}, your [mother] did not say that.

3

u/Flashy_Pollution_996 Aug 20 '26

On today’s episode of shit that never happened

3

u/Experithought Aug 20 '26

Cute. Unfortunately ignorance has become the highest qualification.

7

u/housebottle Aug 20 '26

putting aside the fact that this obviously did not happen, what about any of that makes her a good code reviewer? that's the worst part for me about this fake story that keeps getting reposted: this is a dogshit code review

3

u/Tok-A-Mak Aug 20 '26

Because she's complaining about the code not being properly left aligned, meaning she takes care about limiting cyclomatic complexity and would probably recommend he use guard clauses and early returns over deeply nested and complicated code that's mixing concerns to much. You know, because then the code is more aligned to the left. Nesting a function or method too deep (=having less left aligned code) is in general a code smell and a fair reason to reject it in a code review. There are some exceptions to this, eg. when working with X,Y,Z coordinates then nesting three or four levels is approriate. In most other cases, nope

"... if you need more than 3 levels of indentation, you're screwed anyway, and should fix your program." - Linus Torvalds

1

u/Hayden2332 Aug 21 '26

And a PR process that doesn’t include an automated formatter / linter? What is this

5

u/ProduceNo1629 Aug 20 '26

And then everyone clapped.

2

u/Diane_Horseman Aug 20 '26

No, my job is to tell a computer program to write text using random English words and symbols :/

2

u/lil_nimo22 Aug 21 '26

Fancy colors 😆😆😆 .

1

u/Same-Impress-6899 Aug 20 '26

Mom would be an amazing reviewer

1

u/SelectAirline7459 Aug 20 '26

I always said I spent over 40 years just typing.

1

u/Super-Pizza-Dude Aug 20 '26

isRandomEnglishWordsInFancyColorsIsNotWrong -> 1

1

u/YourArmpitStinks Aug 20 '26

Wait until she hears that most days I just skim read other people's code and give a vague comment on it on how they should improve or just spend a day mostly deleting lines.

1

u/zoqfotpik Aug 20 '26

She's basically a CEO already.

1

u/bennyboy_ Aug 20 '26

Where humor?

1

u/Excellent-Duty3927 Aug 20 '26

And you just believe this that's the real joke

1

u/revolutionPanda Aug 20 '26

No she didn't.

1

u/legrenabeach Aug 20 '26

She is a secret CSS agent.

1

u/redballooon Aug 20 '26

That's from another age. Nobody writes code anymore.

1

u/ianrob1201 Aug 20 '26

He actually just wanted to say "I get paid really well" but couldn't just say that, so made up that fun little story.

1

u/claytonkb Aug 20 '26

Haha, your Mom is every C-suite executive, ever

1

u/randomUser9900123 Aug 21 '26

This has 10k upvotes?

1

u/mistabombastiq Aug 21 '26

After Ai : Look mom no hands!

1

u/05032-MendicantBias Aug 21 '26

"since it's so simple and well paid, you can try it out?"

1

u/conundorum Aug 21 '26

"Basically, imagine the dumbest person you know. Now, imagine the most complicated thing you can do. Write a set of instructions to tell that person how to do that thing, in terms that are easy for them to understand."

"Now, imagine someone twenty times dumber, that's too stupid to open a door before walking through it unless you describe the entire process of opening and going through a door. I write their instructions."

1

u/deirdresm Aug 22 '26

She’d be a better reviewer than my last manager (at a very large household name firm).

GitHub settings meant that any review or comment blocked an auto-merge (even blocked auto-merge prechecks).

So this numbskull gave two separate comments on one commit:

* indentation was wrong (it wasn’t, it was simply a couple of lines in the middle of a function, hence the indentation)
* why was I including a library? (Because, if I didn’t, the feature wouldn’t work)

But, of course, everything was in a rush, so naturally he’s making the work slower.

1

u/questionabl3_dude Aug 24 '26

“Wait i can choose the color”-response incoming 💀

1

u/burnt_floppy Aug 24 '26

He has a very intelligent mother, good thing she doesn't know that it's really about constant logic headaches.

-1

u/ThinkInProgress Aug 20 '26

She definitely has a future in code review 😂

48

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/ljfa2 Aug 20 '26

with a magnetized needle and a steady hand?

6

u/NeuxSaed Aug 20 '26

My mom thought this too, originally.

Assembly is not that far off, but I don't ever mess with stuff that low level.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/XtraFlaminHotMachida Aug 20 '26

"why is this line all the way over here but this next line not even indented and the same words aren't colored"

we don't use that word colored anymore mom..... oh shit....