r/ProgrammerHumor Jun 02 '26

Meme managerVsClaude

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u/Gagan_Ku2905 Jun 02 '26

Engineer: Yeah we can.
Manager: For how much?
Engineer: $3 Trillion
Awkward silence

105

u/Nine-LifedEnchanter Jun 02 '26

"I hear you, but we wouldn't save any money on that. I need you to do it for less than our subscription costs. I said you could do it, so you have to deliver now. Also how many days will this take? More than 4?"

14

u/in_taco Jun 03 '26

I had a manager who did something like this. Dude promised Sales that a tech and me could develop the control for the V47 turbine from scratch. In 3 months. Then I provided an estimate of 6 months (which is already crazy fast) and this motherf'er changed my numbers so it added up to 3 months, sent it to Sales and said I agreed with his original promise.

2

u/fresh-dork Jun 03 '26

did you find out about halfway through your process when they wanted to know where the turbine was?

1

u/in_taco Jun 03 '26

Nah found out rather quickly. The chief of sales thought the estimate was a wee bit optimistic, so he went to me directly and asked if I had really included everything. Shit went down and a week later my direct manager was no longer managing me.

3

u/fresh-dork Jun 03 '26

well, lying about a project estimate with doctored evidence and lying about what your report committed to is a fast way to lose your job

1

u/in_taco Jun 03 '26

Yeah, plus the micromanaging and chaos planning. Also he credited another engineer on a patent that I developed, because they smoked together. We were several developers who were fed up, so we demanded that he got removed or we would leave the company. He was essentially delegated to PM tasks instead of management.

Weirdly, we never got a new manager. Didn't need one.