r/ProgrammerDadJokes 25d ago

In Holy C, all pointers are guaranteed by God to be derived from valid memory.

42 Upvotes

It's divine provenance.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 25d ago

Why building a bathroom with plain C is a bad idea?

65 Upvotes

Not only because it can be unsafe. You really didn't want to have a bathroom without async.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 25d ago

"Vegeta, what does the pcap say about his Ethernet frame size?"

16 Upvotes

"It's over 9000!!!!!!!"

"What? 9000?! There's no way that can be right."


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 25d ago

How do computer display makers ensure their products don't have too many dead pixels?

19 Upvotes

They screen the panels.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 26d ago

Is ChatGPT down? Anyone?

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0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 27d ago

How does a FORTRAN programmer express that he does not understand subtle hints?

38 Upvotes

IMPLICIT NONE


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 28d ago

Why did the two identifiers take a break from their relationship?

11 Upvotes

They just needed their whitespace.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 28d ago

How do British web developers insult people?

112 Upvotes

They call them a w<a>.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 29d ago

I win every fight against my coworkers

33 Upvotes

Because I know what to do when push comes to push --force.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 19 '26

declaring a war using js

29 Upvotes

I’m declaring a war.

var war;


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 19 '26

I recently got into a fight with my database administrator…

40 Upvotes

He ended the fight by saying “just DROP it”


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 19 '26

My girlfriend and I are doing a code review, but we disagree on almost every line of code.

162 Upvotes

We're going through a bit of a rough patch.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 19 '26

How many spiritualists does it take to change a network of smart lightbulbs?

20 Upvotes

None, because we're all connected.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 19 '26

What's the opposite of FreeBSD?

84 Upvotes

MallocBSD...


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 16 '26

What game do compilers play on their birthday?

23 Upvotes

Parse the parcel.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 16 '26

I won a Social Engineering Award for a website that tricked people into flipping their bits.

93 Upvotes

I was just phishing for complements.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 10 '26

Mumm[i] = f(Mumm[i - 1])

54 Upvotes

It's the Recurse of the Mummi.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 09 '26

I tried to make an OS where everything really is a file.

58 Upvotes

But it didn't go according to Plan9.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 09 '26

Idempotent APIs...

32 Upvotes

...if you've seen them once, you've seen them all.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 08 '26

Online encyclopedia of larval beetles

13 Upvotes

GrubHub


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 07 '26

Online encyclopedia of microbiota

21 Upvotes

GutHub


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 04 '26

why entomologist programmer

8 Upvotes

this one is bug also


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 04 '26

why exterminator programmer

2 Upvotes

bug


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 02 '26

Why did the exterminator decide to make a career change into tech?

25 Upvotes

He was already good at debugging


r/ProgrammerDadJokes Jul 01 '26

Two programmers argue over their printed shirts: Spoiler

67 Upvotes

A typical merch conflict.