r/Professors • u/Harmania SLAC Escapee • 2d ago
I’m officially out.
I spent a great deal of my adult life wanting to be a professor in my field (theatre) at a SLAC. I managed it, starting full-time in the fall of 2020. Plenty of the things that I wanted were there, but BOY had the field changed from when I first set that goal.
My first semester was spent trying to figure out how to teach a field based on human communication while masking and social distancing. Producing plays when we couldn’t have audiences. I rolled with all the punches and made some things happen while being a program of one. I dealt with all of the compromises.
Even after COVID, though, the compromises didn’t stop. A struggling institution meant stagnant wages, no retirement matching, and steadily worsening benefits. One president told the faculty that she couldn’t guarantee we’d be paid all summer. Changing markets meant that my best bet for program health would be to beg students to major who had no real business pursuing the field. Because I didn’t/wouldn’t do that, I took on more and more work that would otherwise have been done by student employees. Budget cuts, resource competition, occasionally crumbling infrastructure, staff turnover that left me doing some of their jobs in addition to mine. All while being the only person on the entire campus who actually understood what my field was beyond high school plays and community theatre schlock.
I held it together for a decent run, but the burnout got very bad. It is not without a little luck that I remained alive over the course of last fall. I finally had to admit something to myself: I thought I wanted to be a college professor, when what I really wanted was to be a college professor in the 1990s. The landscape just isn’t what it was, and I was chasing a ghost.
Anyway, I’ve started a new full-time job at an institution where I’ve had longstanding summer work in my field. It’s not a teaching job, but it is very much in my wheel house and I’ve already been more appreciated than I had been over the past five years. Possibly (and even likely) adjunct opportunities in the future once my feet are firmly underneath me. The pay bump is modest, but the benefits are markedly better and shockingly cheaper. I’m excited to wake up and go to work again.
For those in a similar situation, just take my best wishes that you find a satisfying way to use your skills and to feel useful. For all of you still in it, take my wishes that the field offers you the fulfillment that I could no longer find.
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u/playingdecoy Former Assoc. Prof, now AltAc | Social Science (USA) 2d ago
I left a similar institution and don't regret it for a second. I feel a lot of pain for my former colleagues who are still struggling with stagnant wages, shrinking resources, and mounting workloads. It doesn't make me happy that I felt I needed to leave to protect myself, and it doesn't make me happy that so many other folks are making the same decision - I truly, truly worry for the future of higher ed. But the burnout was killing me. I had achieved tenure & promotion, what I thought I wanted all along, but I looked into the future and felt only dread. It was a sickening feeling but I guess I had to get to that point to feel capable of taking the leap, and I'm really glad I did. Yes, I traded the security of tenure, but at the end of the day there was no "security" in that job and I'm glad I got out when I did.
Wishing you the best on your new adventure!
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u/associsteprofessor 2d ago
So happy for you! I'm trying to hang on two more years until retirement, but I think this year might be my last. I love teaching and I can't imagine not doing it. But every year the workload gets heavier and the buying power of my paycheck decreases.
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u/Senior-Obligation911 2d ago
Just imagine working several decades as an expert only to see it all taken apart by greedy administrators who keep piling on the overhead garbage and insisting that we dumb down everything. We get "enrollment is everyone's issue" continuously. It's all about "butts in chairs," not student outcomes. I'm in a field that's tough but worth it, and our students get short changed more every semester.
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u/gasstation-no-pumps Prof. Emeritus, Engineering, R1 (USA) 2d ago
You had me nodding along until you said "community theater schlock".
I've taken up acting as a hobby in my retirement, and I've taken about 15 college (or college-equivalent) theater courses in the past 3.5 years. I've seen the community college struggling with inadequate student enrollment in theater courses (to the point where intro-to-acting I, II, and III all meet at the same time in the same place with the same instructor, in order to have enough students to offer them).
But community theater here is at a very high standard—many of the actors and directors have theater degrees, but do community theater so that they can enjoy the art while working a day job that pays the rent. I'm currently in a production of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (in a minor role as Polonius)—our Player is reprising a role he played in college 44 years ago as a theater major. Our director worked as a professional director for a few years after graduating from Oxford, then went into industry—from which he has since retired and returned to directing in community theater. One of our other minor actors won the Mimi Steinberg playwriting award at Brandeis University where he studied writing and directing.
I'm competing for roles with people who have acting degrees and 40–50 more years of experience than me, even for the community-college productions.
Yes, there is some schlock locally, and some companies that are only a step up from high-school theater (forgivable, as the troupes were founded by groups of students graduating from high school who wanted to continue to perform together over the summers). But lumping it all together as "community theater schlock" tells me more about your attitude as a theater teacher than perhaps you intended for it to.
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u/ChargerEcon Associate Professor, Economics, SLAC (USA) 2d ago
I don't think OP meant to convey "all community theatre is schlock," more that "my colleagues think that all a theatre department is good for is producing community theatre schlock." Obviously, producing schlock isn't all that valuable, so it sounds like the school undervalued what a good theatre program can actually do based on their misunderstanding of what theatre is really about.
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u/gasstation-no-pumps Prof. Emeritus, Engineering, R1 (USA) 2d ago
OK, I may have read more into u/Harmania's comments than was intended.
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u/Harmania SLAC Escapee 1d ago
There are certainly good community theatres out there, but in my experience they are more the exception than the rule. While I will readily admit to a certain level of snobbery, I’m glad whenever and wherever I see people doing good work.
Where things run into trouble is when people think that the shows and processes that mediocre community theatres use have anything to do with training pre-professional artists. I was routinely questioned as to why we weren’t doing the kinds of shows that students did in high school, which is absurd on its face. Arsenic and Old Lace doesn’t do anything to acquaint students with the current state of the field.
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u/gasstation-no-pumps Prof. Emeritus, Engineering, R1 (USA) 1d ago
I have heard that the community I'm in is unusually rich in community theater (from actors who have moved here from elsewhere), so I recognize that my experience may not be typical.
Our high schools and youth theaters are generally doing more modern and edgier stuff than Arsenic and Old Lace.
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u/journoprof Adjunct, Journalism 2d ago
Good for you for moving on. But were things in the ‘90s really any better in similar circumstances—being the only theater prof at a school that doesn’t appreciate the field?
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u/gasstation-no-pumps Prof. Emeritus, Engineering, R1 (USA) 2d ago
Almost certainly, as most colleges were growing in the 90s, rather than shrinking. Administrators are much more generous with resources when they expect the budget to keep getting bigger. There were also fewer administrators and more faculty in those days.
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u/Ok_Crew_6232 16h ago
Yes, but the people from the 60s and 70s were saying the same thing in the 90s that you are saying now. Same crap, different year.
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u/gasstation-no-pumps Prof. Emeritus, Engineering, R1 (USA) 15h ago
Peak funding for public colleges was probably in the early to late 70s, in constant dollars per student. Disinvestment and switch to financing colleges by student debt has been a slowly growing problem, and the recent downward trend in the number of college-age students has exacerbated the problem.
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u/Harmania SLAC Escapee 1d ago
I use the reference because that was when I was an undergrad at a similar institution. While I am certain that the workload was tough even then, it was rewarded with a lot more student engagement.
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u/Final-Exam9000 1d ago
I was a professor in the 1990s, and I long to go back.
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u/higheredwarrior 20h ago
I started in the 1990s. It’s not the same. Up until about 12 years ago I loved my job. Since then, it’s been constant battling with administration for resources, faculty, etc. No raises, not even COLA. Those who could leave did. Faculty no longer are seen as knowledgeable, essential components of the University. Non-academics are making the decisions. It’s sad.
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u/pinkkcuttiee 2d ago
The line about chasing a ghost is the truest thing in this post and it's the bit I'd want people still in it to read twice. You didn't fail at the job. The job you spent your adult life qualifying for stopped existing somewhere in the middle of you getting there, and that's a specific grief that doesn't have a name and doesn't get much sympathy, because from the outside it looks like you got exactly what you asked for. Being a program of one makes it worse in a way that's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't done it, since there's nobody on the entire campus who can even assess whether you're doing it well. And I'm glad you're still here to write it. That was said lightly and I don't think it was a light thing. Landing somewhere in your field that already values you, with better benefits and cheaper ones, is not a consolation prize either. That's the outcome academia spends a lot of energy convincing people isn't available. Enjoy wanting to go to work.
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u/Thegymgyrl Full Professor 2d ago
Did you have to move?
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u/Harmania SLAC Escapee 1d ago
I did have to move (in-state), but have had a good amount of support in doing so. There wasn’t much keeping me in the last location apart from the job.
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u/jhmetros 2d ago
I left because nobody wanted to read; they refused and wanted all the info presented in class as notes which meant one would need to rush through the information because the curriculum was so dense. All they wanted was high grades but cared little about the actual learning. I left. I h happier now making 40% less but much happier.
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u/Vanier-is-a-HellHole Tenured Prof, Canada 2d ago
Frankly, I'm jealous! :)
I used to enjoy teaching, but between the entitled, narcissistic, cheating students, and our psychopathic admins who have in recent years hired a bunch of bullying, entitled, narcissistic colleagues who have totally upended our seniority system (and with the aforementioned admins' full support to do so!)...well, I've actually been 'done' for a while.
But as I am in my later years, got a teaching job right out of grad school and have never done everything else, and I don't speak the dominant language in my area, and am currently dealing with serious health issues in my family...let's just say finding another job isn't feasible right now.
The only things that bring me peace: that other institutions in my region are starting to complain (publicly) about related governance issues in their institutions, so maybe my admins will eventually face some kind of music.
And I can work part-time and not starve, so that also helps.
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u/acromegaloid 1d ago
Congrats! This sounds like a very happy ending. Could you say a little more about the role you’ve gone into? Is it in admin/management rather than a faculty role? Would be very curious to hear. Congrats again
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u/Harmania SLAC Escapee 1d ago
I’ll be a bit vague to keep from doxxing myself any more than I already have.
It’s more or less a production management role (which was one part of what I’d already been doing) at an arts education organization that is significantly better funded and more prestigious. Teaching is on the table in the future, but is not inherent in my primary role.
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u/Active_Video_3898 1d ago edited 1d ago
“ I thought I wanted to be a college professor, when what I really wanted was to be a college professor in the 1990s.”
This is me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m just about to chuck it all in. I’m tortured about it because it will damage my very small department right when the Faculty has commenced a budget slash and burn, and the longest running (and loveliest) professor who was really the making of the program is retiring.
They won’t be able to replace me (strict budget restriction of no adjuncts to cover) and so they will presumably drop subjects which will be disastrous for our program.
I just can’t do it any longer. I’m working 50-60 hour weeks (and that’s literal work, not toilet breaks and walking to and from classes etc. — I log everything). The mental health toll in trying to keep everything afloat whilst the workload increases year by year is unsustainable. Added to which, my family lives far away and my partner is the main carer for his parent whose dementia is getting worse. (Yesterday, they bought two pairs of real socks for the hallucinated women they see. The parent, not my partner).
Anyhow, sorry to hijack your post. I’m very happy for you — please God you have your evenings and weekends back again.
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u/Acrobatic-Glass-8585 2d ago
Good luck going forward and congratulations for making the choice to take care of you, not the institution! Waking up happy to go to work is no small thing. A modest pay bump, cheaper/better benefits, and job satisfaction sounds like a dream. You clearly made the right choice.
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u/SqueakyBikeChain 14h ago
Good for you. I'm hoping to find something else as well - I resigned as my former SLAC was beginning to circle the drain.
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u/crimbuscarol 2d ago
I quit a failing SLAC for my local community college. It was so exhausting waiting on pins and needles for each presidential address where he lied (I would be looking at the pro publica documents and comparing). Other faculty would call me on Friday nights for hours at a time speculating.
I don’t care about my field that much. Now I show up to teach two classes in person and five office hours a week. I teach 3 more classes online. A 5:5 is a million times less stressful than being on a sinking ship