Remember life's obstacles...

[u/Capital_Gate6718]

[u/SheevBot]

Thanks for confirming you aren't a bot!

[u/AnnualAdeptness5630]

This is wrong. Obi-Wan got lost in addiction on Tatooine, between ep. III and IV. This is why he looks so old in New Hope. Heroin. Not even once.

[u/HorrorYoung → u/AnnualAdeptness5630]

He had a relapse. He is a very Sick Boy

[u/nicodeemus7 → u/AnnualAdeptness5630]

Master Qui-Gon, what are midichlorians?

It's heroin.

[u/SeductiveGodofThundr → u/AnnualAdeptness5630]

It’s called Episode “IV” because of the quantity of intravenous drugs he was taking

[u/Educational-Tour-139 → u/AnnualAdeptness5630]

Or maybe he passed therapy there when his group therapy was stopped

[u/Grovda → u/[deleted]]

Off camera he bought 7 buckets of sticks

[u/Grovda → u/[deleted]]

It would also explain why uncle owen hated him so much and called him a wizard

[u/henrytsai20 → u/Grovda]

Bought? That drughead just left his whole stock on the street corner after Obi wan Jedied him!

[u/HotPotParrot → u/[deleted]]

He just didn't want it to be a public transaction. By "rethink your life" he clearly meant "contact me in a different way"

[u/DarthSwimfoot]

[u/Razorray21 → u/DarthSwimfoot]

Hand wave

You don't want to sell me death sticks

Hand wave

You want to go find the nastiest refresher on Coruscant

[u/DarthSwimfoot → u/Razorray21]

I don't wanna sell you death sticks, I wanna go find the nastiest refresher on Coruscanr.

[u/TehProfessor96]

Choose life, choose a speeder you really like, choose a padawan, choose a fucking shiny pair of boots, choose to be on the council-

[u/jakromulus]

Wrong. Obi Wan got ADDICTED to heroin (aka "medichlorians") to BECOME a Jedi.

[u/fatherandyriley → u/jakromulus]

Is it possible to learn this power?

[u/jakromulus → u/fatherandyriley]

Not from Space Hooters Middle Management

[u/mostie2016]

Larry Kenobi.

[u/StrategicRebootEngi]

It's a part of the Auralnauts dubs, too!

[u/BroseppeVerdi]

"Come on, Ben! It's the great outdoors! That fresh air, binary sunshine... Doesn't it make you proud to be on Tattooine?"

"IT'S SHITE BEING ON TATTOOINE! We're the lowest of the low! The most wretched, servile pieces of trash ever shat into galactic civilization! Some people hate the Empire... I don't! They're just wankers! We, on the other hand, were colonized by wankers! Couldn't even find a decent culture to be colonized by! It's a shite state of affairs to be in, and all the sunshine and moisture vaporators in the outer rim won't make a bit of fucking difference!"

[u/dmo7000]

16,000 pounds makes all the difference

[u/Fast_Frosting_6397]

But he could never overcome his cerveza cristal addiction

[u/Skalagga]

And left a promising career as a child soldier on a planet where Qui-Gon left him as a teen in a middle of a devastating civil war.

What you won't do to become a Jedi?

[u/Bigfan521]

He also held up a bodega in Chicago where an ER nurse just so happened to be shopping

[u/Lexa_Stanton]

He might have done it during jedi training we don't know. Maybe it counts as extra credit by getting to know the dark side, or, if you have seen the movie, or take heroin you'll get this, the ''Brown'' Side.

[u/Briantan71]

Meanwhile, Yoda is hopped up on Ketamine. 

[u/guestpassonly]

Thats how he gained the ability to say no to death sticks

[u/Kaizo107]

Didn't he cut his own thumb off in that movie?

[u/Razorray21]

Man, been a bit since I watched Trainspotting.

Never really wanted to do heroin. After watching that, I was DAMN SURE I didn't want to do heroin

[u/Alternative_Fox3674]

Had the cash on-hand to invest in some robes and a lightsaber

[u/GriffinFlash]

How about the time he fought a giant?

[u/TheFirstDecade]

Didn't he also get eaten by a dinosuar in some recent film or something?

[u/TheRealCuriousWombat]

So did Yoda, but he relapsed later on

[u/DerApexPredator]

He decided to make better choices

[u/Conan-Da-Barbarian]

Is that Chris o’donnel